Page 9 of Lost In Someone

“Of course.”

Drew walks up to Merrick, kisses his temple, and says something I can’t hear. Although I’m thrilled Merrick has a new life with Drew, I’m jealous of the way they touch each other, that they always end up close to one another. Drew can’t keep his hands off my friend, and Merrick shines when he looks at him. Yeah, I want that.

“Dinner’s ready.” Merrick opens one of the doors on the range oven he’s always wanted. The aroma of the lasagne makes my mouth water.

“I haven’t had one of your lasagnes in way too long,” I moan. Merrick looks at me, his eyes full of sorrow, and I want to kick myself. The last time was when Josh was still alive, and we had a red wine-fuelled drunken dinner party. “I’m sorry, Merr.”

“Don’t be silly. It’s fine.” He smiles softly. He remembers it too. “Go sit down. I’ll bring it over to the table.”

Although he has a dining room, he prefers to be informal and eat in the kitchen. Drew opens a couple of bottles of wine and places them in the middle of the table. Ivan shuffles his feet like he doesn’t know where to sit. Merlin doesn’t have such qualms and takes the chair opposite me. He picks up a bottle and fills all the glasses.

The only chair left is the one next to me, but I still stiffen when the legs scrape over the floor, and Ivan sits beside me.

Bowls of salad and garlic bread get placed next to the wine, leaving a space for the huge dish Merrick carries over. Everyone groans at the sight of the rich, bubbling cheese-covered delight.

“I expect everyone here to be at the running group tomorrow. This is going to be worth every mile you have to run off.” I point to Drew, Merrick, and Merlin, then turn to Ivan. “Do you run? You can come along too.”

“Drew mentioned something about it. Maybe I will.” His bright blue eyes sparkle. “I’ll need an energetic way to work off all these calories. What else do you do other than run?”

His words remind me of the energetic ways we burnt our energy when we were locked in his hotel room. My cheeks heat, and I duck my head. He chuckles quietly, seemingly proud of my reaction. The bastard.

Merlin looks at me with a glint in his eye and a minute smirk lifting the corner of his mouth. He probably thinks we’re flirting. He couldn’t be further from the truth. Ivan is going to make this a game and taunt and tease me without mentioning a word about that night.

But there’s no way I’ll give in to him. I can give as good as I get. If he wants to play the strangers game, I can too. It’s going to be hard to relate my dreams, awake and asleep, to the man sitting next to me. Half an hour ago, he was nameless, and I lost myself in the memory of us. Now I don’t even know how much of it is real. My imagination of reuniting with him had run wild, especially after a subscription to Sean Cody. I learnt plenty more about gay sex. Instead of how much I loved his touch, the sound of his husky voice as he climaxed, I’m facing a man who’s trying to mess with my head.

“Well, this is a surprise. I didn’t think I’d ever see you again.” Ivan leans in. The others are laughing over something I didn’t catch and aren’t paying enough attention to us.

“Neither did I, yet here we are,” I say coldly. I don’t want to talk to him.

“Here we are. I didn’t think a man I met in a gay nightclub in London would have popped up in this little town. Did you recognise me, know who I was?”

“Obviously not. Why would I? I hardly noticed you when I was here before.” My temper is beginning to fray, and I can’t wait to leave. One more smirk from him and I’m outta here.

“Ouch! That’s brutal.” Yep, he’s laughing at me.

“What are you two talking about?” Merrick asks, and I jerk away from Ivan.

“A band I saw when I was away.” The lie rolls easily from his tongue. Oh, he’s good at this.

“That’s one thing I miss about London. The shows, exhibitions, the live bands. We used to go out a lot, didn’t we, Brodie? That was pre-Willow, of course.”

It was also pre-cancer and Josh’s death, but it doesn’t need to be said. I’m not sure how much Ivan and Merlin know, but tonight isn’t the night to explain.

Merrick continues enthusiastically. “We ought to go up to London, Drew. We can see Kitty and go out on the town. What do you think?” He looks happy again, truly happy, and I know Drew will give him whatever he wants.

The conversation switches, and soon we’re all talking about everything and nothing. The wine flows, and food is devoured as the evening gets later and later.

A cry comes from upstairs, and Merrick and Drew get up from the table. I take this as my chance to leave and stand up quietly.

When we’re in the hall, I put my hand on Merrick’s arm. “Thanks for a great evening. I’m going to head home.”

“Oh, okay. Is everything okay?”

Now that’s the million-dollar question.

What the fuck is going on? How the hell can this guy Brodie be the man in my dreams? He’s even hotter than I remember, and I thought I remembered it all. His muscles seem even bigger. But is this a wind-up? Did he recognise me from that night? I can’t believe Drew would be pissed off with me enough to set this up.

Well, fuck that!

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