Page 26 of The Dawn of the Cursed Queen

My strong, beautiful girl.

“Hey.” I scooted closer until our knees touched and grabbed her hand. Her eyes met mine, the pain fleeing as if she’d returned from whatever memories that had taken her. “I’m okay. You saved me. In the most reckless way possible, but you saved me nonetheless. I don’t know what would have happened had you not gotten there in time.”

I thought it would make her smile, reminding her of just what she’d done, but she only dropped her gaze from mine, looking at our intertwined hands. She ran her thumb across mine and asked, “What do you remember?”

I took a shuddering breath. We hadn’t had this conversation since I had awakened. She had only told me how Roccurem had told her where to go, how he had betrayed Nismera for her, and that I had been asleep for a few days. A part of me knew she wished for me to focus on healing and getting better, and not what I experienced, but I was glad to voice it finally.

My hand stayed in hers, a grounding force I so desperately needed and knew I couldn’t live without. “I remember being held down with those runes by the council. I remember Kaden arriving and . . .” I swallowed. “I remember being stabbed and that blistering pain. It felt as if my entire being had cracked open. I remember the realms opening and how much it hurt. Millions of voices exploded inside my skull. I felt them, everyone at once, and then it disappeared. I remember The Hand leaving. I remember Nismera standing over me, and I felt weak, so damn weak. Then all I remember is you.”

Dianna’s brows creased. “Do you remember the tunnel?”

I glanced away, recalling flashes of light and Dianna’s arms around me as I slipped away. “Very vaguely. I remember being cold and tired, and you holding me was the warmest I have ever felt. It’s sporadic from there, and then I remember waking up in Jade City.”

Dianna nodded, but the smile she forced was anything but a happy one. I did not tell her I remembered telling her I loved her or that she did not say it back. That part I kept to myself, fear a heavy, dreadful thing that told me no matter what we did or shared, she did not love me. There was still so much she kept from me, and like a fool, I was too afraid to ask. My heart could not take it if I spoke those words again, and the look that she wore now formed. How ironic was it that I had slayed beasts larger and deadlier than me and spoke to gods and deities who bowed to me, yet with her, I was utterly and completely terrified?

“That’s all I remember. I’m assuming I passed out from blood loss, and you got us here. How did you, though?”

She shrugged. “Reggie showed up in the last second. Told me where to go.”

I squeezed her hand, seeking to comfort her. She met my eyes again, and I struggled to define the emotions in her gaze. “You are truly amazing, Dianna. Reckless, fearless, and brave. Even if it annoys me.” A soft chuckle left her lips. “I don’t know what I’d do without you.”

Her smile faded, and she pulled her hand from mine. Uneasiness churned in my gut. I meant to offer her comfort, but at times, it seemed all I did was make her retreat deep into herself and further from me. Even with all we shared, it seemed she still kept me at arm’s distance.

“Okay.” She wiggled in place. “Let’s try more meditation.” She opened her hands, offering them back to me, palms up.

“What is this?” I asked, taking her hands again.

“Well, since I’m such an all-powerful badass like you said,” she winked at me, and I snorted before she went on, “borrow some of my power. Maybe I can help you heal.” She relaxed and straightened her back, a small smirk on her lovely lips. “And then we fight until the sun sets. You really suck with a sword now.”

I threw my head back and laughed, my side aching with the stretch, but oh, it felt good. “I still best you.”

“You can barely lift it for long periods of time.”

“And?” I added, not denying it. “I still won against you.”

“Sure.” She dragged the word out. “You were just on the ground yesterday and the day before because you were taking a little rest in the middle of our sparring session.”

“I wanted to be there.” I leaned forward, bringing her fingers up to press a kiss to her knuckles. “It was all a part of my plan. To have you on top of me.”

“You do not need us to train for that.”

I laughed again. This was better than any meditation.

NINE

MISKA. A FEW DAYS LATER

I covered the teacup with my hand as I walked upstairs. Smoke curled from it with a slightly bitter smell wafting off it. After reading through my mother’s herbal text she’d left me, I knew it would help. All wounds needed healing from the inside, even if the others didn’t believe me. My stomach curled at the thought. I didn’t know why I wished they would accept me so badly. Maybe because even though this was my home, it hadn’t felt that way since my mom passed.

Carefully, I climbed the vine-covered spiral staircase. Moonlight from the twin moons spilled through the half-opened walls, their smooth stones cut out to let the light in. One thing I loved about this place, and quite frankly, the only thing, was how much our queen let nature have its way.

A small giggle had me glancing up, and I heard the turning of a page. I hurried along, coming to the top of the stairs as the hall branched outwards. I stopped outside the carved door right as that laughter stopped. They sat in the center of the room, surrounded by a mountain of books.

I had watched Cedaar and Xio before. The girls whispered about how they liked his body but always hushed when I entered the room. They had never shared anything with me, but it still stung. I had heard how the queen wished him for her own, but she thought the fling with Xio was far more than he had let on. I had to agree. His eyes never left her, and she was always a step or two behind him. It was impossible to think they were a fling. It all seemed so real and genuine, especially now as I watched.

Xio laughed and playfully swatted at Cedaar. He backed away, grinning wildly as she said something in that language I didn’t know. I wondered what it was like to love, to be loved. I never saw it here, not like that. Here, it was only hushed whispers and secret meetings, most matches based on politics and greed.

I smiled as they played, and I could see why the other healers were so enamored with him. He was sculpted like the old gods in the stories they used to tell us. Maybe that’s why the men here in Jade City were jealous and made jokes about his weird haircut. Either way, I didn’t care. I only wished to help. I only wanted a friend. That was why I stayed up after the others went to bed. I would pull my mother’s book from its hiding spot and read through the night.

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