Page 141 of The Dawn of the Cursed Queen

I nodded, another question waiting on the tip of my tongue. “Do you think I’m evil?” I blurted, not sure why I asked or why it slipped out. It was something the oracle said, and it had stuck in my brain. I was too afraid to look at him. Instead, I studied my hands, where they rested against his chest. I didn’t know what I would do if I were to see a flicker or change in his eyes that told me even some part of him believed I was. Even if he didn’t think I was evil, I was not good. Not like him.

“Is that what she said?”

“More or less.” I shrugged. “I just want to be what you and Gabby see in me. Not what he made me.”

A gentle, calloused finger touched my chin, lifting my gaze to his. No secret emotion hung in his eyes, no lingering doubt or question, just pure, raw . . . love.

“Dianna, you are perfect the way you are. There is nothing I would ever change about you. Fangs and all.”

“I guess she just got under my skin.” I leaned forward, brushing a quick kiss against his lips.

“You know what I think?” he asked. “I think there are a lot of people, beings, who see you, see your power, and fear it. They are used to being abused by such power, and meeting or even hearing of you frightens them. But that has nothing to do with you and everything to do with them. You are not evil and never have been. There is no question in my mind, body, or soul.”

I felt my eyes burn. “I mean, not even a little bit of a question?”

“I have seen evil. I have fought evil gods, monsters, and beings for longer than I care to admit, but when I look at you, I see . . . hope.”

My head jerked back. “Hope?”

He nodded, wrapping his arm around me a fraction tighter. “Hope. Because I know you have the power to change worlds, and you’d do that for the people you love. Love, Dianna. It doesn’t make you weak. It offers strength to anyone who experiences it, but with how intensely and completely you love, it makes you nearly invincible. I saw it in how ferociously you protected your sister and me. I have seen your heart, physically held it, and I have never met an evil being who loves as you do. So no, you’re not evil.”

I didn’t even know I had started to cry until his thumb brushed away a stray tear. “That’s sweet.”

“We all have flaws. Such is living, but evil? You? Not even on your worst day.”

I leaned forward, my forehead touching his. Never in my whole life had I felt as whole as I did when I was with him. I had never felt so alive. I never . . . felt. His breath mingled with mine, his scent alone, making my heart race.

He pulled back and glanced at me. His hand ran lazily up and down my back. “I will say it is peculiar, though.”

“What?” I asked.

“Oracles, while boisterous, I suppose, are not usually confrontational.”

“Well, maybe she lost it. No telling what she was subjected to. And let’s not forget she dug her own eyes out. I mean, how many ancient beings are out there that speak in riddles?”

Samkiel chuckled. “Far too many.”

“Sorry, I killed some ancient, powerful thing.”

He shook his head. “Don’t be. From what you said, I believe she knew your temper and what buttons to push, so you’d react as you did.”

“Why would she do that?”

His gaze held mine, the light of the moon spilling into our dark room and making the gray a fraction more Otherworldly. “Fear of Nismera. Yours would be a quick death. Nismera has the entire realm terrified because her cruelty knows no bounds. Sometimes death is not the worst option and offers peace in place of suffering.”

My stomach lurched at his words.

Ask her what she ripped from the very heavens.

I wondered if he’d felt the peace of death when he died, even for a second. Had he felt the rupture when I’d begged death to steal that from him? Would he hate me when he knew what I’d done? Would he leave? I knew in my heart that I could have never done that to Gabby, even though her being here would bring me so much happiness and comfort. I could never strip her of the peace she so desperately deserved. Even if I could have her with me, I wouldn’t. But for Samkiel? In a heartbeat. I’d burn worlds, erase empires, and turn stars to ash if I had to.

The oracle was right. I was evil.

I ran my thumb across his cheek, my heart burning with one simple truth. “I am extremely selfish when it comes to you.”

He smiled, placing a kiss on my palm. “I know the feeling.”

I curled up next to him, listening to his heartbeat as sleep eventually took him. His hand stilled on my back, but I didn’t sleep that night. I stared at the sky, watching the silver wave of his power ebb and flow across the night sky, barely noticing the bird made of midnight as it flew by again.

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