Page 168 of The Dawn of the Cursed Queen

I stepped forward, my hands in front of me, fingers intertwined. We were both covered in guts and bile, and gods knew what else. There was nothing romantic about this, but I stared at him and felt nothing but warmth. He was the one person who never abandoned me, no matter how cruel, vicious, or mean I was.

Samkiel had been there for me after I’d lost one of the most important people in my life, pulling me out of one of the darkest times of my life. He never judged or faltered, his love and loyalty a constant. I didn’t deserve him, and maybe he was right. A deep, dark part of me reveled in the fact I had finally done something to break us.

My fears were no longer present because they came true. The truth was he was too good for me, and I was more comfortable leaving. It was safer. I could protect my heart, my soul. The problem was, neither of them was mine any longer. They were his and had been for some time now. He had picked up the pieces, bit by jagged, broken bit, and put them back together. Somehow, he had healed them and made me whole. So even if my love was a dark, powerful, brutal thing, it was still just love.

“If I ask again, will you say no? Because I do not think I could stomach it.”

“Do you want the truth?”

He nodded, neither of us caring we still had a queen to kill and several more entrances those damn things could get through.

“I thought it was painfully obvious,” I said, blowing out a breath. “I’m an idiot.”

His head reared back. “What? No. You’re one of the smartest people I know. One of the smartest I’ve ever met.”

I shook my head. “Not when it comes to you.”

His eyes softened, his throat bobbing as if he’d swallowed whatever words he was about to speak.

“You’re right about a lot of things. I run when things get hard. Sometimes, I lock my emotions down and everyone out. I think the absolute worst, so yes, you leaving made sense. When you sent me away, I thought you had finally realized how damaged and broken I was and decided you deserved better. So I was going to deal with it. I had made up my mind that no matter what, I would still help you get your family back and save this blasted realm you care so much for. Even if you hated me for lying to you and hurting you again and wanted nothing to do with me.”

I paused, twisting my fingers together but refusing to look away from him. He deserved to hear this.

“So, when you asked, it scared me. It wasn’t what I was expecting. Samkiel, you are not anything I could have ever expected. You prove my worst insecurities wrong at every turn and make me see how good some people are. You make me feel. At times, being in this relationship with you is hard for me because I care so much. I don’t want to mess up, mess us up, and I don’t know what I’m doing. So yes, you’re right. I am a coward because quitting seemed safer. But then the ground split, and you disappeared. I was reminded once again that being without you is worse.”

He folded his arms across the thick breastplate of his armor, and I marveled at him. He was every bit a white knight, and now he was glaring at me. I expected him to tell me I was wrong, maybe with soft words or a hug, but not the grin that slowly formed on his face. “You’re right, too.”

“About which part?” I asked.

“You are an idiot.”

My hands dropped to my sides. “Hey!”

He took another step, this time not trying to stay away from me. “I want you to repeat in that glorious head of yours what you just said. How you’d help me save my family and the realms despite how you thought I no longer wanted you. You put yourself, your feelings, and your heart last again. And don’t think for one second I deserve anyone better than you. There is no one better than you. There never has been. No one is more courageous or godsdamn selfless. You ran into a hive full of flesh-eating acidic insects—”

“Wait.” I held up my hand, frowning in disgust. “Flesh-eating acid?”

“With no regard for yourself, to save me. So yes, you are an idiot.”

“I just—”

Samkiel lightly grabbed my arms. “How could I not be completely and utterly in love with you?”

“You love me?” My heart melted.

“With everything I am and everything I ever will be.”

My world stopped. It was fractured and remade with those words. They weren’t just words but a promise, a declaration from two people who had been burned by the world. We had lost everything and never wished to share with another so deeply. He had offered me his heart, and in return, I’d give him the broken pieces of mine. It was more than love for us, and I knew now it always had been.

Tears blurred my vision, and I lurched forward, my lips slanting across his. His mouth moved over mine, deepening the kiss. We froze and broke the kiss, both of us grimacing in revulsion.

“A perfect moment ruined by bug guts.” I swore, wiping and failing to remove the grime from my face.

Samkiel laughed as he did the same.

“Don’t laugh.” I glared. “It’s not funny.”

“Kinda funny.” Samkiel’s face scrunched as he wiped the bug grime at his mouth. “That was not well thought out.”

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