Page 3 of Before I Loved You

I was worried I wouldn’t be able to do this. I was worried his touch would make me feel suffocated. Make my skin crawl. Make my body cringe and my feet want to run.

It’s what has happened every time I’ve tried doing this with a man since that night.

But all I know right now, in my tipsy haze, is that I want this man more than I’ve wanted anything in my entire life.

But just for tonight.

One night only.

I look straight into his chocolate brown eyes when I say, “For me.”

He nods, gently pulling me closer to his body. “And what else can I do for you?” he asks, searching my face for an answer he’ll never get. At least not the honest answer, anyway.

“Make me forget.”

one

SARAH

ONE MONTH LATER

“Shit.”

I stare at the two vibrant pink lines, hoping that the longer I do, the greater the chance that one of them will disappear and I’ll wake up from this living nightmare.

My fingers grip the white stick, bringing it to my eyes for a closer inspection. Unfortunately, both lines are displayed smugly, mocking me, with no intentions of going anywhere. I drop the stick onto the bathroom counter and pick up the box, flipping it over for directions, which I quickly scan.

How complicated is it to pee on a stick?

My eyes dart back and forth until I get to the part I’m looking for, and my fear is confirmed.

One line: not pregnant.

Two lines: pregnant.

Shit. Shit. Shit.

Absently, I drop the box in the trash and push the stick off the counter and into the small metal barrel, seeing that staring at it won’t change the results.

A rush of anxiety sweeps through me, and I quickly sit on the edge of the bathtub, gripping the porcelain tile with shaky fingers as the seriousness of the situation hits me like a ton of bricks.

And then it dawns on me.

I don’t even know who the father is.

Oh. My. God.

I mean, I know who the father is. He’s the only guy I’ve slept with since that night, but what I don’t know is his goddamn name.

A high-pitched laugh bubbles out of me at the insanity of that statement. Oh great. I’m not just pregnant, but I’m also officially losing my mind.

How could this happen?

We used a condom. I know we used a condom. I rolled it on his huge dick, for God’s sake!

Did it break?

How am I going to be able to afford a baby?

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