Page 107 of Before I Loved You

I look at the time on my phone, knowing it’s too late to call Ray. He’s probably sound asleep in his recliner, snoring away as a basketball game plays in the background on his TV. “I’ll contact my brother first thing in the morning to see what we need to do. I don’t want that video on Greyson’s devices any longer. He probably already got a new phone, but he’ll likely have all his files saved on the cloud or a hard drive.”

She looks down, disappointment evident in her features. “I thought if I got his phone, I would be that much closer to getting rid of the video. I didn’t think of the possibility that it would be stored everywhere.”

A single tear slides down her porcelain cheek as she leans away, reaching inside her coffee table drawer to pull out Greyson’s phone. She holds it before her, waiting for me to take it.

“I will take care of this, Sarah. You won’t need to worry about this for much longer. I promise.”

I brush the tear away, studying her carefully.

I can’t even wrap my head around everything she’s been through, and my heart aches for her.

“So…I know I just threw a lot at you,” she says. “But there’s one thing I need to make clear.” She sits up, looking me dead in the eye, clearing her throat before she continues. “When I found out I was pregnant, I didn’t know what to do. I wasn’t even sure I was going to keep the baby because I was scared I wouldn’t be able to do this alone. But when I thought about my childhood, going from house to house, I realized I could never live with myself if I put my child through that, too.” She shakes her head. “I want this child. I want to be a mom and love this baby the way they deserve to be loved.” A small smile forms on her face until it abruptly falls. “But I don’t want you to feel trapped. I know you’re going into the NBA next year, and I don’t want to ruin your dreams. So, if you don’t want to be a part of this, I understand and am ready to do this myself.”

I can’t help the instantaneous laugh that rumbles in my chest and bursts from between my lips.

She smacks my shoulder, appearing mildly irritated. “What’s so funny?”

“You,” I manage to say. “Sarah, why the hell would you think I’m leaving you or the baby?”

“I just wanted to give you a way out if—”

“I don’t want a way out.”

“You don’t?”

“No.” I run my hands up and down her back. “I want to be a part of your and the baby’s life if you let me. I want to be at every doctor’s appointment and every baby class. I want to rub your feet and buy you whatever weird food cravings you have. I want to hold your hand in the delivery room, cheering you on. I want to be the one who wakes up in the middle of the night to feed the baby so you can sleep. I want a life with both of you. I don’t want it to be a part-time job when I’m fully ready for this. I’m all in.”

She purses her lips, tears pouring out of her eyes.

“You’ve spent almost your entire life taking care of yourself, but now it’s my turn to take care of you.” I brush my lips across hers. “Let me take care of you, Sarah.”

She hesitantly nods.

My lips press against hers slowly, savoring the warmth and taste of her, never wanting it to end.

But she slowly pulls back. “So we’re really doing this? We’re having a baby…together?”

“Looks like it.” I look down at her stomach. “Can I?”

A gentle, breathtaking smile appears on her face.

I slide my hand under her shirt, placing it on her bare stomach, noting the small bump. Something I would never have noticed previously. “Have you felt any kicks yet?”

She shakes her head. “Not yet. But the doctor said I’ll probably start feeling something in a few weeks.” She places her hand over mine. “I thought I would be showing a lot more than I am, but the doctor assured me that sometimes, with your first one, you don’t start showing until sixteen to twenty weeks. So I guess this is just the beginning.”

“I never even noticed,” I murmur, moving my hand to her thigh. “When is your next appointment?”

She reaches for her phone on the coffee table. Looking at her screen, she says, “I have a follow-up appointment in a few days, and then I have the next ultrasound appointment on New Year’s Day for the twenty-week appointment to find out the baby’s sex and to make sure the baby is developing as expected.”

“I’ll be there for both of them,” I confirm.

Her smile widens, becoming brighter and more beautiful than anything I’ve ever seen.

I rest my head against the back of the couch, my fingers still holding her securely to me. “There are a few things I think we should discuss.”

“Like what?”

My eyes hold hers. “Like how I don’t like the fact that you’re living alone while pregnant or with an asshole like Greyson out there.”

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