Page 66 of Before I Loved You

She gives me a look of pity, making my stomach churn. If she knew I was purposely trying to avoid the father of my baby, she wouldn’t be looking at me that way. She would look at me the way I deserve, with disgust in her eyes.

“If you have any questions or concerns, please call the office anytime and ask to speak with me. I’m always here to help,” she offers. The corners of her eyes crinkle as her smile widens.

“Thank you,” I respond as she picks up her charts and walks out the door.

I slide my arms in my coat sleeves when I feel a vibration in the pocket. Seeing Natalie’s name dance across my phone’s screen brings me a sense of comfort I desperately need right now.

“Hey, Natalie,” I answer, walking out of the office toward my car.

“Hey, Sarah! I just wanted to see if you want to go out on Friday. Vanessa has to work, so it would just be you and me. What do you think?”

I usually would love a chance to go out, but since my bank account is now in the negative, it doesn’t seem like a great idea.

“Umm, money is kind of tight right now. Maybe another night,” I respond, hating how pathetic I sound. I get inside my old car, turn the key in the ignition, pray it will turn on, and when it does, I blast the heat on my hands.

“Let’s stay in! That sounds like a better night to me, anyway. How about we do it at Nathan’s house? I’ll ask him to pick up some pizzas on his way home from work, and he has a freezer full of ice cream at my request,” she adds with a giggle. “Paul probably won’t be there because he has an away game that night.”

Relief and something else fills me. Is it disappointment?

“Are you sure you’re fine with staying in?” I ask. “I don’t mean to be a downer or anything.”

“Trust me, you’re not,” she confirms. “I prefer this plan. I just want to see you. We’ve all been so busy recently, and I don’t care what we do as long as I get to see you.”

Warmth spreads through my chest. “Okay. Then yeah, that sounds like a fun night to me.”

“Perfect! I’ll text you on Friday. Bye, Sarah!”

“Bye, Natalie.”

I pull out of the lot and head toward campus, which is only ten minutes away. As I drive by the sports arena, I notice a full parking lot and people walking in holding signs. There must be a basketball game tonight. I stop, letting some fans cross in front of me, and that’s when I see a sign with the words Go, Weston! on it.

Not thinking about it, I turn in the lot and find a vacant spot in the back. I don’t have money for a ticket, so I don’t even know what I’m doing here, but I feel like I’m being pulled toward the gym like a magnet.

Entering the arena, I begin to walk around when I hear someone yell, “Hey, it’s Paul’s friend.”

The way he emphasizes friend has me turning with a smile.

“Hey,” I offer, walking up to the familiar face who gave me my ticket the last time I was here. The halls are pretty deserted now, making me think the game must have started.

He looks around his booth and then back at me. “Paul didn’t put any tickets aside today. Do you need one?”

I shake my head. “He doesn’t know I’m here. I was hoping there might be somewhere I could watch off to the side,” I admit with a lift of my shoulders.

He smiles, shaking his head, and motions for me to come behind the booth door. “Come with me.” He places a closed sign on the booth window and opens the door. “I could get in trouble for doing this, but if you promise not to say anything, we’ll be good.”

“I promise.” I hesitantly follow him into a back room, where he opens the door to a set of stairs.

I’m fairly certain it’s frowned upon to follow men you don’t know into back rooms, but…actually, there is no but. It is completely frowned upon.

He points up the four flights of stairs. “My knees are too run-down to make it up there, but when you get to the top, you’ll have a clear view of the game. And remember, I didn’t bring you here.” He winks as he shuffles past me, heading back to the booth.

My hand wraps around the old metal railing as I take my first step.

Here goes nothing.

By the time I reach the top, I’m hunched over, out of breath, and reminded that I hate cardio more than anything in the world. But as I look up, seeing the big glass window before me, I straighten and walk over, pressing the palms of my hands to the surface.

Wow.

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