Page 54 of Before I Loved You

I let out a rush of air, scrubbing a hand over my face. “Jesus, Sarah. I’m so sorry I put you through that.” I reach for her hand, letting my thumb rub her soft skin gently back and forth.

“No.” She shakes her head. “I know why you were there. Nate talked to me. He said you weren’t yourself this past week, and I know…I know…” Suddenly, a tear rolls down her cheek. “It was my fault that you were there. I was horrible to you.”

“No, baby girl.” I wrap my arm around her waist, pulling her toward me, bringing her between my legs, her side molding against my chest. “I’m a grown-ass adult. It was my fault for drinking that much. I was having a tough week. I needed a…”

“Distraction,” she whispers.

I nod. “Yeah. But it wasn’t your fault.”

“Paul?”

I place two fingers under her chin, tilting her face closer to mine.

“I didn’t mean anything I said to you before I ran out of your room that morning like a coward. I just…” Her eyes move from mine, locking on the camera on my computer. “I panicked. And I lashed out at you. I’m sorry. I know you would never…take advantage of me.”

Her eyes pinch shut, and I wrap her up in my arms, bringing the blanket around the both of us.

“I know you’re not ready to talk about whatever is haunting you, but can you give me a yes or no answer?” She opens her eyes, staring right at me when I ask, “Did someone take advantage of you?”

Her bottom lip trembles, and her eyes glisten as she quietly breathes, “Yes.”

My worst fear is confirmed in that one word.

I kiss her temple as she nuzzles against my chest, letting her tears fall down her cheeks and onto my shirt.

“I’ve got you. Let it all out, Sarah.”

Maybe this is what she’s been keeping from me.

The cause of her putting a wall between us.

Her fingers clutch onto my shirt for support. “I’ve never felt this before.”

“Felt what?”

“Safe. Cared for. All of it. It’s just a lot to process.”

“Baby girl, you are safe with me. I will never let anything happen to you. Do you understand me?”

She nods, relaxing against my body as I stroke my hand over her back. We sit here in silence for a few minutes, neither of us moving as I savor the feel of her body against mine when an idea pops into my head.

“Will you do something for me?” I ask.

“Anything.”

“Go on a date with me.”

Her eyes widen, her lips parting in shock. “A date?”

“Just one date to prove I’m not like the others.”

“I already know you aren’t.”

“Then what’s stopping you?”

“I…umm…” She hesitantly peers up at me, the look of defeat crossing her features as she gives in. “Just one?”

“Just one,” I confirm.

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