Page 52 of Before I Loved You

“I warned you to get off of him.” Standing in front of Paul, preventing this piece of trash from getting near him, I shrug, dropping the extensions to the floor.

She screams and suddenly throws herself at me, but just as I lift my arms to block my stomach, I witness Nate step between us and reach for the girl’s arm, taking her by surprise as he turns her around in one swift motion, pinning her arm to her back.

“Don’t fucking touch her,” he seethes. People begin to whisper and stare as he guides the girl toward the front of the house. “If I ever see you near them again, you will regret it. Do you understand me?”

The girl nods, and Nate releases her arm, letting her scurry off into the crowd.

“What happened to him?” Nate asks, his eyes roving over a barely conscious Paul.

“I don’t know.” To think of what that girl might have done to him if I didn’t get here in time makes my insides boil. “He called me to say he wasn’t feeling well.”

Nate takes the almost empty bottle of vodka from his hands, tossing it to the side before running an exasperated hand over his face. “I’d say from the amount of alcohol in him, he’s not going to be feeling well tomorrow either.” He sighs, reaching behind Paul, trying to help him to his feet, but it’s pointless. The man can barely utter a complete sentence, let alone walk. Nate stands and looks at me. “Do you think if I take one side, you can take the other?”

I nod, stretching out my arms before me. “This will be fun.”

An hour later, we make it to the bottom of the stairs in Nate and Paul’s house. I look up, count how many steps we need to take, and mentally prepare myself.

“I know it’s not my place,” Nate starts, “but I think you should know how good of a guy Paul is.”

“I know—”

“No.” He shakes his head as we reach the fifth step. “I don’t think you do. As much as it pisses me off, there’s a reason why Natalie refers to him as a goddamn teddy bear.”

We reach the top step just as Paul chuckles and then slurs, “Teddyyyyy bearrrrrr.”

Nate grins, opening Paul’s bedroom door. “This guy takes care of the people he cares about. And he deserves someone who would do the same for him. He’s been off this past week, keeping to himself. I wasn’t really sure why, but I think now I’m starting to.” He pins me with a look, but it’s not judgmental. If anything, it’s understanding. “So, all I’m trying to say is, please don’t hurt him, Sarah.”

I nod, swallowing the large lump in my throat. The last thing I want to do is hurt Paul, but I’m unintentionally doing it every day by not telling him my secret—our secret.

We push Paul onto his bed, and Nate rolls him toward the center so he doesn’t fall off. “Jesus. That was a workout.” He wipes his forehead with his forearm.

As Nate steps away, I move toward the bed to remove Paul’s shoes and pull the blanket up around him.

“Sarah?” Paul murmurs, his eyes fluttering open the tiniest bit.

“Yeah, Paul?” I stroke my hand over his cheek.

“Can you stay?”

“I…umm…” I glance over at Nate, leaning against the doorframe. He nods in understanding, closing the door behind him.

My eyes move around Paul’s room, immediately spotting the camera on his computer, causing me to stiffen. But I know Paul would never take advantage of me, so as I take off my hoodie, I say, “Just for a few minutes. Okay?”

A sleepy smile appears on his face as I crawl under the covers beside him. I try to create space between us, but Paul’s arm suddenly wraps around my waist, bringing me up against his chest.

I sigh, giving up as I let myself enjoy this feeling of contentment from being in his arms. If I’m honest with myself, it’s the best feeling in the world.

It’s where I feel the safest I’ve ever felt.

“I always feel better when we’re like this,” he mumbles. “You and me.” He brushes his lips against my neck, and it takes everything in me not to turn to face him.

Not to admit that I feel the same damn way.

“Good night, Paul,” I whisper, my heart slowly breaking, knowing I will never end up with someone as good as him.

He responds by pressing his lips against my neck before slumping his head on his pillow, soft snores filling his room.

twelve

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