Page 36 of Before I Loved You

“Promise,” I reply, pulling the blanket up around us as she closes her eyes and, soon after, drifts off to sleep.

Why did I fall for the one girl in the world who wants nothing to do with me?

I don’t know, but what I do know is I’ll do whatever it takes to prove to her that I’m worth it.

And I sure as hell am not going to give up on her.

Or us.

The only sound comes from the raindrops hitting the windowpane steadily, providing a relaxing white noise that eventually lulls me to sleep with the girl of my dreams in my arms.

nine

SARAH

Sitting my ass onto my office chair with an unladylike groan, I feel like death. I scoot closer to my computer screen to get a better view of my reflection, and I realize death is a word that is too kind to describe the way I look right now.

Bags under my eyes the size of Texas barely remain hidden under the three layers of concealer I put on, and my hair has certainly seen better days. Reaching into my purse, I grab my trusted concealer and start working on a fourth layer before throwing my hair up in a bun and wiping a sheen coat of gloss across my lips.

Whoever came up with the term “morning sickness” clearly has never experienced it before, seeing as I’ve been vomiting at all hours of the day and night. Thankfully, my last episode was around one this morning, and I haven’t felt the need to sprint to the bathroom yet.

And according to everything I’ve been reading online, this should hopefully improve by my second trimester.

Fingers crossed.

“Hey, Sarah. Everything okay?” Gianna approaches my desk; her well-polished ensemble of a black pencil skirt, white blouse, and perfectly coifed hair only makes me feel worse about my own appearance.

“Hey, Gianna.” I throw on a smile while trying to smooth out a couple of wrinkles on the front of my dress. “Yeah. Just a bit tired.”

After spending all weekend rotating between resting my head on the toilet seat and bawling my eyes out because of Greyson’s threat looming over me and not being able to tell Paul that I’m pregnant, I had to force myself out of bed this morning to meet with my advisor about trying to graduate early.

Finding out I can was fan-fucking-tastic. But finding out that would mean I need to double up my courses next semester was downright dreadful.

But I don’t see how I have a choice in the matter.

I need to do what’s best for the baby, which means not taking classes while working and raising a child simultaneously.

Especially alone.

Even Wonder Woman would have to draw the line in the sand somewhere.

I then went straight to my doctor’s office, worried over how often I had been getting sick, but she assured me it was normal and told me to pick up some ginger gummies and electrolytes, which I did on my way here.

So yeah, I’m fucking exhausted.

Gianna regards me with sympathy in her hazel eyes. “Well, if you need anything, just let me know. Okay?”

I nod. “Of course. Thank you.”

She smiles and turns, heading toward her desk. As I spin in my seat to face my computer, I see a familiar reflection on my screen and turn around in a panic.

“Paul? What are you doing here?” I look around nervously, praying Greyson isn’t in today. I haven’t seen him yet, but that doesn’t mean he isn’t watching the security cameras like the creep that he is.

Lord knows he loves his cameras.

“I just wanted to make sure you’re doing okay after the other night. I would have stopped by sooner, but we had an away game, and I just got back today. Natalie mentioned you were working.” He smiles but tilts his head, noticing my hesitation. “Don’t take this the wrong way, but you don’t look so great.” His hand reaches out to cup my cheek, and I find myself melting into his warm touch, my eyes closing. “Are you still not feeling well?”

I internally shake my head, opening my eyes. “I’m fine. I promise. I’ve just been busy today.”

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