Page 145 of Before I Loved You

“I love him,” I whisper, a weight lifting off my chest at the release of these words. A smile spreads on my face.

It feels…overwhelming. Maybe even a little strange to say.

But it also feels so damn good.

And not knowing where the hell he is or what is going on is bringing that weight right back down on my chest, making it impossible to breathe.

I sit up, leaning against the headboard, biting my black-painted thumbnail before placing my hand against my chest, focusing on each breath I take.

Everything is going to be okay.

Nothing is going to happen to Paul.

I’m sure he just—

The bedroom door swings open, bouncing off the wall, and my eyes widen as I see Paul standing before it, his eyes traveling over me, ensuring I’m safe.

“Sarah,” he breathes, his shoulders relaxing at the sight of me. His eyes set on me as he paces urgently toward the bed.

“What happened? Is everyone—”

My words get cut off as Paul swoops me up in his arms, holding me securely against his chest. I wrap my legs around his waist, grabbing onto him with all my strength. His hand cups the back of my head as I nuzzle my face into the crook of his neck, inhaling his scent. His heart races under the palm of my hand before I slide it around the back of his neck.

“I was so worried about you,” he says, his fingers trembling against my neck. “If anything ever happened to you, Sarah…”

“I’m right here.” I dig my fingers into his shirt, anchoring myself to him. “I’m right here. With you.”

He kisses my forehead and then brushes his lips over my cheek. I pull away to look at him, letting our eyes lock.

His eyes pinch shut as his face scrunches with dread. “I can’t lose you, Sarah.” His voice is barely above a whisper.

“You won’t.” I press my cheek onto his shoulder, my hand massaging the back of his tense neck. “What’s going on inside your head? Talk to me.”

He lets out a deep breath and then sits on the bed, still holding me against his body, still needing to feel that I’m here with him and I’m okay.

“When I saw Vanessa in the hospital tonight, all I could think about was you.” He flexes his jaw. “What if something like that happened to you? I would lose my mind, Sarah. I would murder the man who did that to you.” His hand slides between us, gently pressing against my stomach. “If anything happened to our baby…”

I feel his heartbeat roar under his chest, his breaths coming out shaky.

He’s panicking.

“Hey.” I cup his cheek, watching as he closes his eyes, relaxing into my touch. “I’m good, and so is our baby. Everything is okay.” I slide my hand down to the center of his chest. “Breathe for me, Paul.” With my other hand, I wrap my fingers around his wrist and place the palm of his hand on the center of my chest. His eyes open, so many emotions flying through them. “Breathe,” I encourage.

I feel his chest slowly rise as he inhales, holds it, and then releases it in a long breath.

“Good. One more time,” I request.

He does, the whole time keeping his eyes on mine.

My lips press against his cheek and then the other one. I take my time, gliding them across his lips, and finish by placing one last kiss on the tip of his nose.

He clears his throat. “I wanted to turn around and come back to you. It took everything in me not to because I needed to help Jason find the guy.”

“Did you find him?”

He nods. “Jason took care of him. It was some guy that Vanessa had issues with before. But he won’t be coming near her ever again. Especially after what I saw Jason do to him.” He pushes a loose piece of hair behind my ear. “After I dropped him and Nate back off at the hospital, I came straight here because I needed to tell you something.”

I freeze in his hold, anticipation building as my heart thunders beneath my rib cage. “Wh-what did you need to tell me?”

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