Page 128 of Before I Loved You

My man.

“Who’s making you smile like that?” Natalie asks, eyebrows waggling.

I shove my phone in my pocket, shaking my head. “No one. I was just checking my emails.”

“Sureeeeee,” Natalie purrs as we approach my car.

Guilt hits me. I know she’s teasing. I know she doesn’t actually care who I’m texting. But I’m filled with regret for not telling her anything. For keeping so many secrets from her, when she has been my first friend in… Well, damn, I guess she is my first friend.

“Natalie.” I press my hand on the top of my car door, steadying myself, feeling words ready to break free from within me.

She tilts her head, watching me from the other side of the car. “Yeah?”

I clear my throat. “I just… It wasn’t easy for me to make friends as a kid. And I don’t have much experience with the whole friends thing in general. I’ve been a loner for as long as I can remember, pretending it didn’t bother me and that that was how I wanted things. It’s just not easy for me to connect with people. To form lasting relationships. And even last year, when I would go out, it was just to…” To try to feel in control of my life. To make the thoughts stop. To not feel so alone all the time. I shake my head, feeling a sting at the tip of my nose. “Some things are going on in my life right now that I’m not ready to talk about, but I just want you to know the day I met you was one of the best days I’ve ever had. Your friendship…means a lot to me, and I don’t want to lose you,” I choke out.

Natalie sprints around the front of the car, tackling me in a giant bear hug. She doesn’t say anything, but I hear the occasional sniffle as she holds me tight, saying everything she needs to without words.

She parts from me to look at me, gripping my shoulders. A few tears trickle down her face, and I can’t help but wipe them away.

“You’ll never lose me. Whatever is going on, I’m here for you.” She smooths out my hair, smiling. “When you’re ready to talk, I’ll be ready to listen. Deal?”

“Deal.” I let out a relieved sigh, thankful for her understanding.

Thankful for the first friend I ever made.

twenty-eight

PAUL

“Relax,” I coax Sarah as we walk up the front steps to my house. “She’s going to be over the moon from the news.”

“You say that, but all your mom will be thinking is that I’m the broke girl who got knocked up by her fabulously rich son on purpose when that wasn’t the case at all. We used a condom!” She stops, bringing her hand to her forehead, looking ready to burst into tears.

“You’re never going to forgive the condom industry for this, are you?” I tease.

She swats at my chest. “It’s not funny! She’s going to hate me. Your whole family is going to hate me. They’re going to think I’m a gold digger that used you.”

I gently lift her trembling chin. “Is that what you think? That my family will look at you like you’re a gold digger?”

“Well, won’t they?” she asks, vulnerability mixed in her words.

“No, Sarah.” I shake my head, wrapping my free arm around her while balancing a pie in my other. “They all fell in love with you at Thanksgiving. Ray and Kevin both won’t shut up about you. Tina called me the other day just to ask about you. And I’m not proud to say it, but a small part of me thinks my mom might like you more than me.” I chuckle. “If anything, they’re going to be happy for us.”

“How? How can they be happy for us when your mom probably thinks this will mess up your future? That…I ruined your future.”

I hesitate, watching her carefully when it occurs to me. “Baby girl, is that what my mom will think or what you think?”

Her eyes close as she admits, “It’s what I think.”

“Oh, Sarah.” What am I going to do with her? “You’ve done the complete opposite of ruining my future. You’ve turned it into something worth living for.” Her eyes flutter open. “Basketball is my career, and it’s what I’ve done my whole life. It’s what I enjoy being a part of. And yeah, having a baby as a rookie isn’t going to be easy at all, but having a kid… Sarah, that’s on a whole other level of being happy. You’re giving me the best gift I could have ever asked for.”

“Really?” she asks, sounding unsure.

“Really.” I push back her hair and run my thumb under her eye, where one solo tear streams down. “You have a lot to offer the world, Sarah Fleur. And I’m going to make sure someday soon that you know it with everything inside you.”

After pressing a kiss to her temple, I take her hand in mine and walk through the front door.

“Hey, Mom,” I yell as we walk inside.

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