Page 5 of Crown of Chaos

To anyone passing by, the hauntingly beautiful palace looked like something out of a horror story. The once proud, lofty towers had been rendered useless from stones flung from catapults. Smaller holes peppered the walls, allowing light to flood into the palace’s interior. Moss clung to the northern side of the ruins, and skulls hung from the walls by rope through their eye sockets. Entire skeletons dangled from the larger walls that enclosed the vast courtyard, a warning to those who passed the once lavish palace. The remains were twisted with rich, emerald-colored foliage. It climbed through the bones, wrapping around the legs and torsos before budding flowers escaped their mouths and rib cages. Between the back of the palace and the lofty cliffs, a thin wall of magic held back the hemlock, preventing it from sending poisonous gases and spores into the air to reach us.

Water flowed over the outer cliff, creating a breathtakingly beautiful backdrop for the countryside. The waterfall poured into a swift-moving river ripe with fish for us to catch. It helped feed the overflow of witches flocking to us for protection against the dark magic flourishing within the realms.

Several people were laughing below my vantage point, forcing my attention to where my sisters tossed runes onto a triple-moon cloth. Kinvara smiled, barking a loud clap of laughter at something Sabine whispered to her. Callista was sitting beside her, pointing to some runes with a sad expression on her gentle face. It caused the others to go silent and matching frowns to tug on their mouths.

My other sisters mingled with the new witches who had turned up last week, and children moved about playing, unafraid for the first time in I didn’t know how long. It seemed as if everyone was settling here, except me. Even though I was with my family, I still felt displaced and alone.

I had been dealing with a lot of things that had left me struggling to understand the future—like Celia spelling Amara. I’d murdered my twin, and even though the pain was there, I refused to allow it out of the tight restraint I held it under.

“You should be down there with your sisters.” Esme snorted, settling in beside me and popping a slice of apple into her mouth. “You hold yourself at arm’s length from everything and everyone. I get it, but keeping yourself separate won’t do anything to help protect anyone. That isn’t how life works. You’ll just end up alienating yourself from the people who love you.”

“You realize that this won’t work out as we want it to, right?” I asked, waving my hand at the sanctuary that was too good to last. “Eventually, Hecate or Knox will find us, and this place will end up no better than the village that was slaughtered in the mountains between Norvalla and Vãkya.”

“Maybe, but we have five escape routes. Plus, you can warn us if Knox gets close.” Esme shrugged as if it wasn’t a big deal to uproot and run. “You’re new in the realms, but this is how we live. We’re always moving, and we hardly ever get a warning before we have to flee to a safer location. Not one person here has unpacked their bags, Aria. No one trusts we are safe, no matter how much you think otherwise. You’re powerful, but so are our enemies.” Esme nodded at a mother who fed her baby while pondering the courtyard filled with witches. “She looks at peace, doesn’t she? Yet, she’s scanning every face for darkness or any hint of trouble that might hurt her child. The children are laughing and playing in the water, but they, too, are looking and watching for threats that could harm them.”

“This isn’t any way for people to live.” I paused, remembering myself as a small child, being just as vigilant. Freya had been a constant threat, and I’d never forgotten that she wished me dead. I’d lived with one foot out the door and the other poised to run the moment I caught sight of my mother. “No one should have to go through life looking over their shoulder for a knife aimed at their back.”

“No, they shouldn’t. However, not everyone’s powerful enough to stand against those who want to destroy us simply for existing.” Esme tossed the apple core aside before cleaning the blade on her pants and pushing it back into the sheath on her thigh. “So, we’ve learned that staying on the move means staying alive.”

Considering her words, I snorted at the accuracy of them. “How does that work for creatures like us? What happens when we are in a cycle and can no longer avoid the need of the creatures within us?” I countered with a crease sliding between my brows.

“You make the best of it and learn to roll with what happens. Personally, I find someone, use them, and vanish the moment the cycle ends.”

“Can I ask you something? How often do you go into heat?” I asked. “I just had my third cycle, and it was rather brutal. I’m mated now, and I fear I won’t be capable of stopping Ember from going to Knox when my next cycle hits. Knox hates me, and I don’t blame him. Hecate destroyed his life, and she made certain he felt pain so deep and visceral that I doubt he’ll ever stop hating me.”

“It’s normally every few months for me.” She exhaled, staring out over the mist rolling in with the promise of a storm in the valley.

“Have you ever been late, or successfully ignored a cycle?”

My mind continually churned with what I’d allowed before leaving the library. I’d opened my womb to Knox, permitting him to mate with me, and I hadn’t started my heat cycle yet. I was late, and the possible reason for that was terrifying. I tried to tell myself that I’d been through a lot, which had affected me before, and this was just stress-related lateness.

“No.” Esme laughed mirthlessly, an iciness entering her tone. “I don’t expect that we would be able to, not with the creatures seeking to satisfy their particular needs. Our cycle isn’t like shifters, Aria. It doesn’t end until our creatures get what they need. You either feed them what they crave or you lose control and they take over.”

“I noticed that,” I admitted. “I think it is worse because Ember is an alpha—or, at least, that’s what I assume.”

“She is,” Esme affirmed. “I am not an alpha. It appeases my creature to follow you, and she doesn’t want me to go against you. That means I am beneath you in the animal hierarchy.”

“Like a beta?” I asked, and her head bobbed in silent agreement.

I shifted my attention back to the people milling about below. Aurora had joined my sisters and was speaking with them. All at once, they turned to stare up at Esme and me. Aurora’s face tightened with some emotion I couldn’t decipher, and then they all looked at the runes Kinny had thrown onto the cloth. Slowly, I read the ones I could see, and they foretold a coming loss.

Shivers rushed down my spine because the notion of losing anyone terrified me, and I didn’t want to imagine it happening. I’d sacrificed too much to lose them now, and I wouldn’t allow it to happen. If they died, I’d be alone in my fight to protect my people while cleaning our house. It should have terrified me, but it only created a dull ache in my chest. Expelling the air in a soft puff, I wondered why they didn’t seem spooked by the idea of losing someone.

Were our reactions just another difference I could tally between my family and me? They just assumed the risk of loss as something that was acceptable while I viewed it as abhorrent. Or were they just so sure that I would save them they didn’t think they had to worry? Yes, I felt responsible for them and protective of them, but that didn’t mean they should dismiss the runes warning. It was yet another reason I found myself pulling away from them.

“Surrounded by people, I still feel so alone,” I admitted, turning to Esme. “I’ve always been with my sisters, standing on the outside, looking in as a stranger. My twin, Amara, tried her best to make me feel accepted, but something always told me to maintain a safe distance. Now with them here, I only feel trapped and responsible for their lives and keeping their hearts beating.”

“I am like that withSiobhan. I love her to pieces, and I would do whatever it took to protect her, but I know I am not like her. She is a witch, first and foremost. I am not. Like you, my other half is more dominant. We don’t fit in because we don’t have their needs. They thrive in nature, which we can do as well, but they want peace and simple lives, whereas we crave chaos and war. We’re also predators, which they sense because they’re nature, and we’re savage beings that disturb that nature.”

I blinked a few times and frowned. It was the truth, and it startled me. When we’d arrived in this valley, the first thing Esme and I did was come up to this wall and look down at the witches entering the territory.

“I know.” She nodded before chuckling with sparkling eyes. “It fucked me up in the head when I figured it out, too. It took me a long time to accept that I was marking my sister,tracking her as if she was purely prey. Eventually, I learned it wasn’t entirely what I was doing, though. We love them, and our creatures understand that. From this vantage, we can see the threats coming and easily respond in time to help them,” Esme admitted, leaning more weight on the wall as she spoke. “It started when the king of Norvalla took her from our village after an attack had occurred. Multiple attacks had happened in a short time, and I feared Knox was attacking us. I ran into the woods to hide and ended up seized by those who’d slaughtered our village days before. Siobhan ended up with Knox and his army, who had come to aid us, and she was protected. They reminded me of why I was unclean, and it had taken me some time to escape their camp. When I got free, I sought Siobhan out, needing to be close to her. I would watch the army moving from the highest peak I could find, following them to try to determine if she was still with them. I had to stop, though, because I wasn’t the biggest predator out there and I was cautious of him catching my scent.”

“But your sister was safe with him.”

“I didn’t know that at first,” she muttered softly, her tone distant and filled with a self-loathing I knew well. “I’d heard rumors of him, but we’d also been raised with the warning of what people did to our kind. I feared he would be no different, but he was. To those who served him, Knox wasn’t the bad guy. Sure, the rumors surrounding him weren’t all unfounded. He slaughtered dark witches in masses. Knox is ruthless against his enemies, but he wasn’t our monster. Had I realized that before running, I’d have gladly joined his army. I might have gone searching for them had I known she survived, but I didn’t learn that until much later. One day, I was within an apothecary shop, seeking blue vervain, and she walked in the door. I thought I’d died where I stood, or that she was merely a ghost drawn to me from memories I held. It scared me enough that I hid within the fireplace, watching her picking up and inspecting glass jars. After some time, I decided to speak to her. I’d ended up covered in soot, and she bashed a jar over my skull, assuming I was the one haunting her.”

“I imagine it amazed her to see your stubborn ass was alive.” I offered as a smile entered her eyes, even though it didn’t touch her lips.

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