Page 40 of Crown of Chaos

“You were pregnant and unprepared to fight Hecate,” he argued, rubbing his thumb against the inside of my palm. “But you are a warrior, Aria Primrose Karnavious. I’ve met no woman like you before, and I’ve met hundreds of thousands of female soldiers. Not a single one of them fought the way you do.”

“Why are you being so nice?” I asked, not wanting to trust his words because I wasn’t used to hearing kindness from him. He frowned sadly, studying the way my gaze narrowed with suspicion.

“Because tonight I saw you split apart. Right now, you’re in a precarious state, and one wrong word will send you spiraling over the edge. I don’t yearn for that. I’d rather shield you, and shelter you through the rough road ahead. I’m also being selfish because I miss touching you,” he conceded, brushing my cheek with his fingertips.

“You miss me?” I whispered, causing his lips to curve into a sensual smirk.

“You don’t miss me?”

“I miss sleeping,” I admitted. “I don’t dream when I’m with you. There are no nightmares because you drive them away. As a child, I scarcely slept because I constantly worried that Freya would reach for me when I was at my weakest. When we had left Haven Falls, I had nightmares of what Freya used to do to me. Then, when we got here, they had covered me in glitter before hanging me from a chain as a gift for the king of unwanted beasts. But they all stop when I sleep next to you. Your arms wrap around me, and I’m safe and shielded from them. I don’t understand it, but I feel I can let my guard down with you. Yes, it more often than not allows you to slice me open, but that’s a different type of pain. Strangely enough, with you is where I feel safest.”

He nodded before surrendering the breath he’d held. Knox’s hand moved gently, dropping to my thigh before slowly sliding higher until he could trace his thumb over the skin on my hip.

“I miss you in my bed, too. I miss the warmth of your body against mine and waking up to your ass brushing against me in silent welcome, even though you weren’t conscious of it half the time. I crave your scent enveloping me, soothing the strain of the day simply by being close to me. I also miss the melody of your voice when you’re furious and railing at me about something I’d done. But, most of all, Aria, I miss your mind and your intelligence when we battled against one another. You’re insanely smart and cunning. There’s an edge to you that’s been missing from this realm, and I enjoy watching you sharpen it.” He swallowed, causing his jaw to flex as he shifted his palm beneath my bottom, holding my body against his as he lifted from the couch.

“What are you doing?” I demanded as my heartbeat roared in an alarm.

“Taking my gorgeous, exhausted wife to bed with me,” he announced thickly before arching an eyebrow in challenge.

“Knox.” I swallowed past the knot in my throat as he laid me on his bed and stepped back. He hooked his thumbs through his pants and tugged them down before migrating to the other side of the room.

I unabashedly stared at his ass as he stopped at the chest of drawers and pulled out his gray sweatpants. He tugged them on before making his way back to the bed, stretching out beside me and bracing his head on his palm.

“I’m going to hold you so you can sleep. I won’t let anything get to you, Aria. I won’t ask for anything more than that. You’re healing from the birth ofourdaughters, and you’re not alone in mourning them. I merely seek to feel you close. That is all.”

I shifted closer to him, and he grinned wistfully. When he didn’t slide his arms around me as I expected, I reached for his free hand, wrapping my fingers around his before I brought it to my face. Knox studied me for a moment and then tightened

“I don’t intend to allow you to evade me much longer, Aria. We belong together. You fit against me perfectly, and I fully plan to capture you and never let you elude me again. You realize that, right?” he confided.

“You and I weren’t written in the stars, Knox.”

“No, we’re written in the blood that will bathe this world and wash away the sins of the past. They created us to reign over the chaos and end the darkness with the light burning within you. I genuinely believe they made you so they could rule the realms through your power and strength. But they underestimated you and your need to protect the weaker beings. That wasn’t all they got wrong about you, though.”

“What else were the wrong about?” I urged gently. Knox’s rough, raspy tone was a balm to my soul and broken pieces.

“They underestimated how brilliant and beautiful your mind and soul would be,” he admitted thickly. His oceanic depths promised to wash away the pain and leave me floating on calm seas. “They miscalculated what you’d become, or that we’d become one another’s anchor and oxygen. I’m not saying that it won’t change because, according to Brander’s questionable medical opinion, I have a form of traumatic witch fuck, which equates to me flying off the handle and randomly being a prick. I’m not inclined to agree with his findings. Plus, if you’re mine, my people won’t be collateral damage in the path you blaze through the Nine Realms.”

“I never offered you any oath to leave your people unharmed,” I mumbled, which had his lips twitching in response.

“No, you didn’t,” Knox murmured, bringing my knuckles up to his lips and kissing them tenderly. “Tomorrow, we’ll return to being enemies that fight for the same thing from conflicting sides of the war, Aria Karnavious. Tonight, we’re linked through the loss and grieving for the family we almost made together. Our daughters were so beautiful, just like their mother. You and I, we made something pure and enchantingly lovely.”

“They were, weren’t they?” Tears threatened, but I refused to let them fall.

“I wouldn’t expect anything less from something as splendid and insanely gorgeous, Little Monster.”

“Am I truly still your enemy?” I asked hesitantly, exploring his stare to uncover the truths he might try to hide.

“It depends on you and what path you elect to take from here. Will you allow your grief to devour you, or will you control it and aim it at those who inflicted this sorrow? Do you prefer to be the one who brings the realm to their knees, or do you wish to be the one who sets the world on fire, and lives within the ashes of your rage, and grief? Only you can determine your route.”

“I think I might want to be the beast who swallows their souls and raises an entire kingdom from their corpses. I don’t want to save anyone anymore, Knox. That thought frightens me because I think I’m turning into a monster, and that’s not who I yearn to be.”

“It scares me too, Aria. But the thing about pain is that it transforms you. Grief haunts you long after you think you’re free of it. Fear creates hate, and anger drives strength. Anguish makes you into another type of creature altogether, but rage can make you unhinged. Just make certain you put those emotions into something you can handle the fallout of and that you are in command of what you turn into. Stop following the weak and show them how strong you are as a leader. You were born to lead, and you know it as deeply as I do. You’re not the queen of nothing and no one. I believe you are the queen of everyone, even without adding my title to your name. You’re the queen of chaos, and I suspect you’re the one who’ll save us all, Aria.”

“That was pretty deep,” I whispered, seeing his lips twitching.

“It wasn’t as deep as I’d like to be inside your body and soul. If I could, I’d take the pain away and replace it with pleasure and warmth so that you felt me mending your wounds.”

I emitted a breath of air, shaking my head. “I don’t see how you live with this pain and hide it from the world. I wish I was like you and could conceal it behind silent strength, but I’m just not made that way.”

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