Page 23 of Signed With Love

I get Claire out of the hospital and us on the road as quickly as I can. The drive to Casper goes by, and in no time, I’m pulling into her parents’ driveway. I jump down and circle around to her side. It had taken her five minutes of driving before she leaned back and fell asleep. I knew she was worn out. I couldn’t imagine keeping up with all those kids every day like she does.

I open the passenger door, and Claire’s eyes fly open the moment my hand lands on her shoulder. She blinks a few times to let her eyes adjust, then jumps down. I reach back to grab her things and follow her up the path. I’d helped my mother landscape most of this area the year before she passed. We kept it simple, only emphasizing the natural land. We did hedge a path with some native flowers and rocks she requested with a few solar lights to light the way.

Claire digs into her purse to pull out a spare key and unlocks the front door. I follow her inside and set her bags down in the entryway. Memories of my mother always sit heavy when I’m in this home. As much as I want to keep following Claire inside to make sure she grabs something to eat and gets to bed, I know I should turn and leave.

Are you hungry? I ask instead. The subtle yellow light of the room illuminates us.

I’m tired and drained from the day's events but not ready to leave her side so quickly. I know she needs her rest, and she’s more than capable of finding something to eat herself. But those facts don’t have me turning away from this woman or the memories my mother’s home brings. I’ve been pushing the memories away to visit Billy and Gloria anyway, and it’s easier each time.

I am. Will you stay?

When I nod, she shuts the front door and wanders into the kitchen. She searches the refrigerator and hands over a drink before continuing her search for some really late dinner.

This is exactly where I want to be, right at Claire’s side. The ghost of my mother doesn’t seem to weigh as heavy as I take a seat at her parents’ dining table.

Chapter Eleven

Claire

I slide a bowl of soup toward Jamison. He takes it and happily begins eating. He doesn’t care that we are eating my parents’ leftovers.

Jamison is easy, I’ve learned. He doesn’t fret over things and never puts up an argument. It makes me want to stay in his presence because I always relax a little bit more with him around. I’m usually so tied up with anxiety, it’s difficult to concentrate.

My heart does beat faster when he’s near me, though. But in an exhilarating way. He bleeds adventure, and I want to borrow a bit of that strength and wanderlust from him. He’s also comfortable. Like coming home at the end of the night to your warm blanket and a good movie. It’s like being around him is a comfortable adventure.

Jamison finishes his dinner and rises to take our bowls to the sink and rinses them. I’m not ready for him to leave. When Jamison turns my way, I sign quickly. Do you have to go?

It’s late.

I shake my hands, wringing them out. I’m not ready to let him leave me tonight. I run through ideas of ways I could get him to stay. But he’s right, it’s late and I should be lying in my room, allowing the day to fade away. But I want to do that with him nearby. His friendship and presence, I crave it tonight.

Jamison comes in closer, that scent of his flooding into me. He signs, It’s been a long day. You need some sleep.

He’s not wrong. I can feel the way sleep wants to drag me under. I nod, but the desire to ask him to stay the night is strong. This day has frayed all my nerves.

He slides a loose strand of my hair back behind my ear. His touch is sure, no hesitation with the way it caresses my cheek. A wave of tingles sweeps across my body, begging for him to close the last bit of space between us.

I could just do it myself. I could come in close and press my body to his. I’m certain I’m reading his body correctly. His thumb pulls my lower lip from between my teeth, the pad brushing across my lip causing me to gasp. I want to give him a sign. Something to tell him to bridge the gap between us with a press of his lips.

I back away instead. Jamison steps back, breaking the connection between us. My heart drops. Why couldn’t I just be bold? Ask him to stay the night with me. Tonight it would be as friends, but I also want more one day. I would like to know how his lips will feel on mine, the way his hand will feel tangled in my hair, how his body will feel pressed into mine.

I’ll see you in the morning? Jamison asks, his brows raised.

I uncross my arms to respond. Yes. My body is deflating because he’s leaving. Jamison turns and walks to the front door. I follow behind him. He reaches the entryway and looks one more time over his shoulder, giving me a reassuring smile.

And with that, I rush forward. I take exactly what I want—to be in his arms. He turns to catch me. I hold his face, his beard scratching my palms, and press my lips to his. They’re warm and soft. I pull back to look up at the man who helped me tonight and is becoming a vital part of my world. He crashed into my perfectly structured life and turned it upside down.

I took a risk. A smile spreads across my face. It’s never felt so good to be bold and brave, to take what I want. Jamison watches me, those eyes trained on my mouth. It takes only a moment before he pulls me closer with a hand buried in my hair, his other tugging on my waist.

He kisses me without restraint. I wrap my arms around his neck and allow him to show me how intense this adventure with him can be. His throat vibrates as he deepens the kiss, and I feel the vibration to my toes. The taste of him on my tongue. Wild and unrestrained, just like the man.

Jamison breaks away and slides his hand from my hair to caress my cheek. I’ve loosened my hold and let my hand linger on his neck, remembering the way it felt when he let that sound escape while lost in me. Feeling it, tasting the need is something I’ll never forget.

My hand drops, but he picks it up instead, tangling our fingers together. I already want to kiss him again. I’m certain once won’t be enough.

I reluctantly pull my hand from his. Do you have to leave? We could watch a movie? I’m not ready to suggest anything more tonight, but that’s okay. It’s all about the baby steps Maddie used to always say about dating.

Jamison agrees to a movie with a hazy look. I walk into the living room and sit on the couch as Jamison follows behind me.

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