Page 43 of Blood Lust

It turns out that slipping into his mind is incredibly easy.

I was intentionally keeping you out before.

His voice is a whisper that dances in my head. I can feel him. I can sense his pain as he sees how tortured I am by what has happened. I can feel his love for me, deeper and more profound than I imagined. I can tell how difficult it was for him to maintain his distance initially. Above all, I can feel the absolute pure truth in his mind now that he has given me his final secret—the mate bond.

Oz has been fighting it for so long, doing everything he could to make sure it didn’t influence our time together. He is powerless against the physical draw it has on us both. The bond calls to be sealed, and the only way it can is if…

Oh.

That’s why he took sex off the table but was content with other sexual acts. He didn’t want to seal it until I was aware of it.

It isn’t just sex that is needed. We both have to acknowledge it and share our blood and our bodies. Our minds will see every single part of each other. We would know every aspect of our mate, the bad with the good. He didn’t want to risk that happening until I was truly prepared for it.

Until I chose it.

Until I chose him.

So damn noble all the time. It’s incredibly annoying.

And I can’t help but fucking love him for it.

Bonding isn’t especially common, and Oz has been around for seven centuries, only having seen it a handful of times. When it happens, it’s just once, just the one time. It’s a pull you feel to the other person. A desire for closeness, for love. It’s like finding another piece of your soul you didn’t know was missing. You can function without it, sure, but it feels so much better to have it.

It is pure, it is true.

And it hurts me so much.

Tears blur my vision, and he pulls me to him. “I will never lie to you again, Wren. I swear it on everything.” I believe him. I believe him, and that makes it worse. I can’t stand feeling how much he loves me right now. How he sees me, not when I’m disgusting. I push our minds apart, withdrawing into my own, and my turmoil welcomes me.

“I’m a monster,” I whisper against him. He rocks me back and forth, shushing me, muttering about accidents and intentions again. It is getting so close to sunrise. “I want to die.” My voice sounds small and far away. Oz stiffens.

“No, Wren.” As if I had asked his permission.

“You can’t make me live,” I said, pulling back. “You chose this life for me, and it’s my decision if I keep it.”

He looks like I hit him.

“No, love.” His voice is calming. “I can’t make you live, but I will die trying.” I roll my eyes at him. “I’m serious, we’re in this together.”

“We aren’t doing anything. I am going to sit here and let the sun rise.” My eyes are on the horizon. It’s almost time. “You should get back.”

Oz settles himself on my rock, eying the pink beginning to form in the distance. “I think I’ll stay with you.” His voice is gentle and soothing, and he takes my hand and pulls me onto his lap. I should resist, but there is nowhere I’d rather be than in his arms.

“Oz, please, I don’t want you to die. You’re not the monster here. I believe you now, but I’m a murderer. I deserve this, not you.” My words are coming quickly, panicked. I don’t want Oz to go with me. This is supposed to be something I do alone.

He has to live.

I love him.

Brushing his fingers against my cheek, he pulls me close. “Forever is worthless if you aren’t with me.” His lips graze mine ever so lightly.

“Please,” my voice is hushed and breathy. How am I getting aroused as we sit here contemplating suicide? While I am covered with the blood of my ex? “Please go.”

“Not without you.” I can feel the determination he has. He won’t leave me. I have to go with him.

“Why?” Why will he sacrifice himself alongside me?

Because I love you. He traces the words across my mind.

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