Page 34 of Blood Lust

A harsh laugh chokes from my throat. I don’t think that’s the answer, but I add it to the pile of things to consider.

The next couple of nights are much the same. Wren works with Chandra, now able to take the required stances and have him make minimal adjustments. Watching them move together in fluidity is beautiful. My coven mates seem to cycle through and watch. Rolando one night, Zach another, though he is always near because of Chandra. Even the triplets make an appearance.

So far, no one can offer insight other than what I’ve already considered. I run my hands through my hair, frustrated and feeling useless.

Meditation hasn’t worked.

Apparently, the other part of herself is just too damn stubborn.

Or Wren is.

I am beginning to suspect that she doesn’t truly want this to work. I don’t blame her. Every time she speaks aloud to her other self, it seems as if the conversations shake her. Whatever it is saying to her is not instilling confidence in the merger. I want to look inside her mind, but that would mean revealing the bond, I still refuse to force that on Wren.

I have grown exceedingly fantastic at blocking her thoughts from mine. Usually, when I am distracted, she will filter through, but it seems to be coming second nature to me.

I decide to move back into my room. Being near her, kissing her, and holding her is enough. The sexual frustration is bothersome, but we have developed ways that get us around that while still keeping that boundary I need.

I smirk as I think of it. I want to spend days losing myself in her body. I hope one day soon to do just that.

Helping Wren merge with her other self has been one massive failure.

The stress of the situation makes me feel older. If I could age, I would have acquired more wrinkles and gray hairs over the last few nights than ever before. A sing-song voice beside me makes me groan.

“Change of scenery.”

Charlee won’t let it go. Her eyes, outlined in dark colors, make her look like a raccoon, and this little tidbit of what she considers genius, is the bright shiny object she won’t let go of.

“I’m willing to try it if she is,” finally relenting. It goes against my instincts, but I am desperate to help my beloved.

My sister looks far too pleased with herself and is practically skipping when Wren and Chandra conclude their session for the evening.

“Just go to a bar and pick up some random human?” Wren’s face screws up in disbelief. “Are you out of your mind?”

“Hear me out. You eat some donor blood before we go, so you’re not even hungry when we get there. You get out of here, practice all the self-control stuff Chandra has taught you, and have a light snack. Ba-da-bing, ba-da-boom, in and out, easy peasy, lemon squeezy.” Her eyes are bright with excitement as if everything is just that simple. “I’ll be with you the whole time. You’ll be fine.”

I take Wren’s hand in mine, bringing it to my face and brushing it against my cheek. Turning it and placing the softest of kisses, I give my oath. “I will be with you the whole time as well, lit-”

“NO, you won’t.” Charlee looks like an angry demoness.

Brow furrowed, I feel Wren tug her hand away, and when I open my mouth to speak, she stops me. “Charlee’s right.”

The sting of her rejection is more wounding than the sword that started the end of my life. It is as if she’s ripped my heart out of my body and holds it in her palm simply because she can. My sister’s look of victory is detestable. “Wren, I-” My words fail me.

With a gentler expression on her face this time, she reaches for my hand again and brings it to her chest, clutching it with both hands. “Oz, you’re not going to be there every time. I need to learn to do this on my own, and rely on myself.” Her eyes close, and she takes a deep breath before opening them again, a sort of fury behind them.

Ferocity.

“I am strong. I am not a weak creature that needs to be protected at every turn.”

I’ve been smothering and inserting myself into every aspect of her nights.

Hovering near her like a worrying hen over her chicks.

Wren is right. She absolutely can do this without me. If she fails, she’ll fail because it wasn’t meant to be yet. If she succeeds, she does because she’s put in the hard work and earned it. Though my instincts tell me to protect her from the world doesn’t mean I should.

They are right, and it pisses me off.

Swallowing down my pride isn’t easy. It hurts like a scorching iron going down my throat. But I will do anything for Wren.

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