Page 1 of Blood Lust

CHAPTER 1

THE SONGBIRD

Impending doom. Fear. Panic. Just a few of my favorite words that describe how I feel about the state of my relationship at this very moment.

Over.

A squeaking sound comes from the wheel of my shopping cart, which keeps trying to pull to the left. Figures I would grab the bum one. As the cart shakes, I continue down the aisle of Catskill Getaway’s General Store. Wine bottles gleam in the overhead fluorescents and I study the labels to make a selection.

I see Spencer’s brown haired head as he bends over the beer cooler. My blood turns to ice as he stacks his cart with more and more cases. Shoulders slumping, I pick out my wine for the weekend.

We almost hadn’t come.

Spencer hates surprises, and planning this trip without his knowledge started a fight that I worry we won’t recover from.

Things haven’t been good for a while now.

I try to hold on to the fact that he’s here, at least. That’s something right?

The corners of my mouth tick downward and I steal another glance at my boyfriend of two years while I load four bottles of wine into the shopping cart. What if he’s only here because he has nothing better to do for Memorial Day weekend?

Shaking my head I try to pull myself from that line of thinking. There’s still time to fix this, to fix us.

My grocery supplies seem to be complete. We mostly needed alcohol and a few cold items I didn’t want to bring on the long drive up from Callery. Satisfied with the contents, I call out to Spencer, “Did you want white wine or red?”

Silence.

“Good talk,” I say softly, taking a deep breath to bite back the stinging tears forming in my eyes.

Deciding it was fine, like I decide everything is fine, I roll my shaky cart to the front of the store and wait for Spencer. He shows up a moment later with five cases of beer in his cart and nothing else.

He was going to be drunk all weekend and glaring at his beer, I take comfort in knowing I’ll be wine-drunk right beside him. Maybe this is a good thing. Maybe it will loosen us up and we can reconnect. I snuck some naughty lingerie and toys into my bag that I plan to pull out tonight.

Maybe our relationship isn’t dead in the water.

Maybe it is.

I tug the sleeves of my shirt down to my wrists and avoid the pitying stare from the cashier. She’d seen the marks from our most recent fight. It hadn’t been a bad one, he was just frustrated that I planned an entire trip and spent all this money without telling him. She doesn’t know how much pressure he’s under from his job, and how stressed he’s been. It’s my fault, anyway. I tried to walk away from him while he was expressing himself, and that wasn’t fair to him.

So he reached out for me. Big deal. If I hadn’t tried to pull away, they wouldn’t have bruised.

Probably.

I do this sort of thing all the time. I know he hates surprises, but I still try to be spontaneous and don’t include him on things that concern him. I get he hates it, and I do it anyway. I apologized and practically begged him to come out here with me, just so we could get away. I’m lucky he didn’t just kick me out of his apartment all together.

She shouldn’t assume things she knows nothing about.

We’re fine.

I’m fine.

A flash in my mind of a colorful rectangular box sends a jolt through my body. I swear as I hurry away from the front of the store.

“Where are you going?” Spencer calls after me in a biting tone.

“I forgot cereal. I’ll be right back!”

I hear him mutter some half hearted apology to the cashier for my behavior and flinch at the surliness in his voice. Strike one against me for the day. Maybe I can salvage the rest of it when we get back to the cabin I rented.

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