Page 15 of Finding Her Home

The space looked small, but the zombies were right behind her. Julia felt genuinely scared as she fell to her knees and crawled into the cupboard feeling Vic pull her the last of the way and the door slammed behind her trapping the zombies outside. She landed on top of Vic and it was pitch black, but she could feel they were in a narrow tunnel that was about high enough for them to crawl through. She felt her heart beating out of her chest. The zombies were screaming behind the door.

“You okay?” Vic asked and squeezed her hand.

Julia nodded.

“We’ve totally got this.”

Julia nodded and felt her lips graze Vic’s cheek in the darkness. She wanted to kiss her so badly suddenly but didn’t. She felt safe, here in Vic’s arms, in the tunnel. Safe from the zombies, safe from real life, safe from her grief.

“Can we stay here a minute? Just like this.”

“Of course,” Vic responded. Julia found herself nuzzling into Vic’s neck as Vic’s arms wrapped around her. Because it was dark and they were in a tunnel escaping from zombies, it felt like nothing else existed in the world and it was fine just to lie there held tight in Vic’s arms.

When they finally crawled through the rest of the tunnel and made it into the daylight and normality, Julia felt like something between them had changed.

The zombie experience was not something Julia would have ever imagined doing, and she knew she would never have coped with it if she hadn’t had Vic leading her and protecting her throughout.

Was this a date? Would Helen mind if it was?

While Helen was sick, they had discussed Julia dating. Helen had said, “Please, promise me you will date again. I don’t want you to be sad and lonely forever.”

I can’t my darling. I don’t think I can.

“You have to. Julia promise me. I’m not dying until you promise. We aren’t moving on from this until you promise. If you like someone, you will try. You will not be sad and alone forever.”

Okay, okay, I promise. Tears were running down Julia’s face.

I’m trying, Helen, I’m trying.

9

They finally made it to the theatre in Covent Garden just in time for the show to begin. They had held hands as they walked through London. It had seemed natural after the zombie apocalypse; Julia had been afraid and sad and Vic wanted to just take care of her. She seemed happier with Vic’s hand in hers. Julia’s hand was cool and smooth, and Vic thought to herself she had never walked anywhere holding anyone’s hand. In many ways it was an unnatural experience, but with Julia it somehow felt like the most natural thing in the world.

Vic also realised that this was actually the first time she had ever really been on a date. She didn’t really believe in relationships and she didn’t really do dating. She did flings centred around sex. She did one-night stands. She didn’t do dates. And yet, here, somehow, she was on a date that she herself had suggested and she was enjoying herself.

“Julia, is this a date?” she asked as they waited in the half dark theatre in their seats for the performance to begin. They were still holding hands.

“I think it is, yes,” Julia responded.

“It is the first date I’ve ever been on. I don’t do dating.”

“Why don’t you do dating?” Julia asked.

“My parents, I think. I have attachment issues from childhood. My father kept getting caught fucking the nanny. Then the nanny would get kicked out and there would be a new nanny, who I thought loved me, then she would get caught having sex with my dad too and she would be thrown out, and repeat. So I think I just learnt early on that relationships are fucked and everyone who I think loves me only ends up leaving me.”

“How are you finding this date?” Julia looked at her kindly.

“Amazing, really. I never imagined spending all this time with just one person.”

Julia smiled. “It’s been pretty amazing for me, too. Thank you for asking me out.” She took a deep breath. “Are you scared?”

Vic nodded. “Very. Are you?”

Julia nodded back.

“Maybe we can just take things really slow and not overthink anything or pressure anything?”

“I’d like that.” Vic squeezed her hand.

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