Page 39 of Finding Her Home

Vic had gone? The pain of not seeing her and the emptiness of the castle without her and the dogs and Hyzenthlay was more severe than the pain Julia had anticipated at seeing her again.

She couldn’t bear the thought of never seeing her again. She looked out across the castle grounds and could see hints of the river, and she remembered the secluded bank where Vic had made love to her. She couldn’t imagine getting nearly naked in the great outdoors with anyone else. Vic had unleashed things in her that she had never imagined of herself and all of them were good. Being with Vic had made her happy every day. Everywhere in the castle was full of the memories from the past few weeks and everywhere hurt. Her office was about the only place that was immune, so even though she didn’t have work to do today, she sat in her office, staring dully out of the window. It looked like a nice day outside, but she couldn’t even face going for a walk or going to play with the children.

Alexandra had gone out on some visit to horse ride with a friend or something, Julia wasn’t quite sure, but she hadn’t needed her today and she couldn’t imagine how she was going to fill her time.

Suddenly, Julia saw what looked like horses on the horizon and as they got closer, she recognised the big black horse that was cantering sideways and throwing in the odd buck, its rider sitting still and quiet and unfazed, her strong legs guiding the horse. It could only be Vic. And who else was with her? Another horse close to her and then four more horses at a distance as though they were escorting the two horses in the middle. Two dogs running around—had to be Bear and Linda.

Julia recognised the star-shaped four-person security formation. It was the same on horseback as it was on foot, it seemed. It had to be for Alexandra.

There was a knock on her door and it opened and a head poked around. It was Erin.

“Alex needs you outside,” Erin said, and Julia frowned. “It’s important.”

Julia felt awkward about Vic, but she desperately wanted to see her even though it might be difficult. The horses were closer now. Satan, big and handsome and prancing. Julia remembered riding with Vic in Hyde Park and their first kiss. She felt tears beading in her eyes and wiped them away.

“Of course, I’ll be right out,” Julia said.

She headed out of the main door of the castle. Bear and Linda ran up to her, delighted to see her, and Julia sat on the steps and ruffled the fur on their heads. Bear jumped up and licked her face and Julia let him. She had missed them both so much. He smelled like Vic on the top of his head.

She was pleased she had worn jeans today for whatever Alex wanted with her outside.

Alex’s horse approached first with Satan and Vic a way behind. Alex jumped off athletically and threw the reins to Sara, the stable girl, who was waiting.

Julia went to stand, but Alex waved her hand. “No need to get up.”

She sat down next to Julia on the stone steps and took her helmet off. Alex was the one person Julia had noticed whose helmet never messed up her perfect hair and never left marks on her forehead. Alex looked as fresh and immaculate as though she had just got ready to go out.

“Julia, I need to apologise to you. One of the security staff reported to me what had been going on with you and Victoria and selfishly and wrongly, I confronted Vic and told her to end it. I prioritised my working relationship with you over her love for you and for that I am sorry.” She gripped Julia’s hand and squeezed it.

Julia felt confused. What on earth was the Queen talking about? Was this the reason Vic had ended things with her?

“She said she didn’t love me.”

Alex smiled, knowingly. “I’m pretty sure that wasn’t the truth. Vic tends to panic and run away when she feels abandoned. She does love you, in fact. More than anything. She is a wonderful person and I know she has been so happy with you.”

“As I have been with her,” Julia said, and she couldn’t help that hope of some kind was edging its way in.

“Anyway, I’ll get out of here. This isn’t about me, but I just wanted you to know, I’m so very sorry for interfering. I can assure you any relationship you have has my absolute support. I care deeply about both your happiness and Vic’s.” Alex smiled, squeezed her hand again and then disappeared up into the castle.

Julia still felt confused as she turned her head to watch Alex going up the steps. When she turned her head again, there was Vic offering her hand.

Julia took Vic’s hand and allowed herself to be pulled up to standing. Vic was in jeans and a blue polo shirt. Her hair was in a messy ponytail, and she looked so beautiful as she offered Julia her hand. Her face was kind and gentle, her green eyes glittered with life.

“I do love you. I love you so much, and I should have been brave enough to say it when you told me you loved me, or even a million times before that.”

“I love you, too,” Julia said back. “So much. I thought when Helen died that I would never be able to love like that again, but I’m so in love with you.”

“I’m sorry for running away,” Vic said softly, as she led Julia away from the castle.

“It’s okay. I understand why,” Julia said. “I didn’t want to pressure you. I would never pressure you.”

“I know that.” Vic smiled. She turned and looked at Julia, holding both her hands. They were suddenly alone, all the entourage that came with the Queen had dispersed. “I was wondering if we could try again. Give things another go. A real go—no secrets—this time. Alex has given me the west quarter of the castle for me and Hyzenthlay and you, if you want to? I’d love it if you wanted to. We could make it into our home. I want us to be a family.”

“Wow, that’s so generous.” Julia felt overwhelmed. She knew how much Vic needed a home and perhaps she did too. They could make a home in the west quarter of the castle, but perhaps they were really finding their home in each other. “I want us to be a family, too. I’d love to make the west quarter our home.” Julia met Vic’s gaze and smiled hopefully.

Vic took Julia’s face tenderly in her hands and kissed her. Julia felt all of her love and pain and hope in the kiss. She tasted the future in that kiss. Julia knew in that moment that she had found her home.

Epilogue