Page 15 of I Accidentally Summoned a Demon Boyfriend

“Why? Why would you ever think bringing me to the place where demons actually live was the best way to keep me safe from the demons who are after me?” That was when the second wave of panic hit me. I backed away from him and scanned the room like I was running from the cops. “They can probably tell I’m here now, sense my presence. Can they smell me? Oh shit, what if they heard my scream?”

“Right, because all of hell heard that.” He laughed in my face, like I wasn’t having a total mental breakdown. “Yes, it was loud, but not that damn loud. Don’t be so dramatic. I just need time to figure this out without having to pop to Earth every five minutes to save you. Now, if I let you go, do you promise not to swing on me again?”

“I’m not promising a damn thing.” I narrowed my eyes. “I’m also not one to tell lies.”

“Right.” He dropped my hand and turned his back to me. I swear, it was like an invitation to try him.

Before I could decide if I wanted to test the limits, he turned back around and handed me a pen and paper.

“What is this for?” I stared at the items in his hand, not taking them.

“It’s for you to make a list of whatever you need from your place. I’ll go retrieve whatever you ask for.” He pushed the items at me again. “I’m trying to be accommodating.”

“I don’t want you going through my stuff.” I slapped away the offered pen and paper.

“Fine, you can make do with what I have here.” He shrugged. “I doubt I have all the frilly stuff you humans use for cleaning, but the lava rocks make for a good exfoliant.”

I looked around and realized he was right. There was no way he had what I needed, and I had no idea how long he planned to keep me there. The home was carved into what looked like a cavern but had odd touches of modern amenities. There was an actual door and windows that looked out onto a strange landscape.

We were high in the air and overlooking a small lake. Metice apparently liked isolation. To the left, I could see tall rock formations, six of them. They looked like pillars created from stone, but I could tell they were a part of the earth, carved by time, not by man. In the distance, there were thick clouds dancing across a reddish sky. To the right were hills covered in trees with red mossy tops. I could see nothing on the ground beneath the canopy.

Inside, the furniture kept the same aesthetic as outside. Dark red and brown leather covered everything. Every tabletop looked to be made from the same stone as the pillars, even the floor. I imagined he cut a hole in the side of the seventh pillar and made it his home. He even had what looked like a kitchen, and I hoped like hell that one of the other doors led to a functioning bathroom. I had no idea what it would be like to wash my ass with lava rocks, but I didn’t want to find out.

“Fine.” I held out my hand. “Give me the damn paper. I can’t believe this is happening. Maybe I really am losing my mind.”

After finishing the quick list of things I could remember needing to survive, I handed it over to him.

“Do you really need all this?” he grunted after reading the paper, which had items spilling over to the back side of the page.

“Do you want to hear me complaining the entire time I’m here?” I crossed my arms over my chest and huffed at him. “If not, I suggest you bring back everything on the list.”

“Infuriating,” he muttered before the energy in the room tensed with power, and then, Metice disappeared from sight.

“You’re the infuriating one!” I yelled at the empty room. “Damn asshole! Acting like I asked to be here.”

I stood there like a moron, waiting for him to return. I don’t know why, but I thought he would pop right back in, arms full of the things I requested. Apparently, he didn’t have those kinds of powers. After a few moments, I gave up and decided the best way to pass the time was to invade his privacy.

How could I not? I was standing in a bachelor pad in the middle of hell! Yes, I was still freaking out, heart racing and struggling to breathe, but I had to distract myself from that. It was the best way to handle it. First, I took in the bigger picture. The dark walls were curved, smooth, and looked like they were covered in tar. I pressed my hand to it, expecting the slick surface to be sticky, but it wasn’t. It was cool to the touch and even sent a shiver up my arm into my shoulder. Maybe that was by design. Cool walls to keep the heat from hell out.

Surprisingly, his furniture was soft and covered in what felt like the finest imported leathers. I didn’t think a demon would care about stuff like that. Candles were used to light the space, which I assumed meant there was no electricity in hell. How unfortunate. There were a few doors that led to other rooms, plus one that looked like it was made of a heavy metal I assumed was an exit. I was not about to be going through that one.

The first door I opened turned out to be his bedroom. The space was massive, simple in decoration. A large bed sat in the center. Candlelight lit the space just as it had in the other room, and along the walls were books stacked nearly to the ceilings. I couldn’t help myself; I had to find out what books this demon liked to read. I was impressed. As I went through the collection, I found a ton of titles, some familiar but most not. There were ones so ancient, they looked like they would fall apart if I breathed too hard near them, and others had alien texts on the covers. I wondered how vast the universe was and how many worlds Metice had been to. Clearly, he wasn’t just a pest for single women on Earth.

“There is no way I’m actually in hell.” I plopped down on the large bed. His library was interesting, but not that damned interesting. I was in hell, captured and taken there by a demon who was now going through my things to bring me a list of supplies. How was this my life? “Whoever is writing my story has a funny sense of humor.” I dropped the book I’d been holding onto the bed.

Just then, the bag hanging around my chest vibrated, and I damn near jumped out of my skin. “Shit!” I screamed before realizing the sensation came from the bag I’d managed to keep with me during the fight with the mutated grannies, not a demon coming to drag me deeper into the pits of hell. I fumbled with the zipper to open the bag and pulled it out. I gagged as I saw the message on the screen.

Booty Juice:

I had fun. When can I see you again?

“How about never!” I fussed. “Be glad I didn’t bill your ass! Wait, how the hell do I have service down here?” I stared at the phone and then tapped the screen, hoping whatever sliver of service I had was enough to get a call out.

At first, nothing happened, but then it connected, and my heart raced. The phone rang several times, and I almost gave up hope, but after the fourth ring, the screen lit up, and my friend’s face appeared. Keri looked like she was just waking up. Her bonnet hung off the side of her head, as if she was fighting her own demons in her sleep.

“Girl, do you know what time it is?” Keri coughed to clear her throat.

“Keri, I need your help,” I whispered, because as far as I knew, the walls had ears and a mouth to report everything I said to Metice.

---