Page 10 of Song of Memories

Hades was wearing the same thing he always wore, an ankle-length black chiton and black leather sandals. He had a heavy brooch at his shoulder sculpted entirely from silver and rubies. He approached Persephone and extended his arm towards her, and she moved into his side, pushing back some of Hades’s curly hair away from his face to kiss his cheek sweetly. Hades made a pleased grunt sound in acknowledgement, which Pan took to be an endearing sound. You could never be too positive with the god of the dead.

“What were you both talking about hiding from me?” Hades turned to Pan.

Pan’s magic surged again, and his body came alive with electricity, rapidly shuffling between his two most prevalent forms. Hades said nothing as if he was entirely unaffected by such minor displays of power as he crossed the room to sit on his throne, eyeing Pan carefully.

“Should I be concerned? I would assume that you would be on the banks of the river, accompanying Eurydice for Orpheus’s arrival.” The god pressed again, and Pan started to feel sick. A wave of guilt washed over him as he turned towards the windows and tried to discern if Orpheus had arrived yet. Luckily, Persephone stepped in and saved Pan from having to respond.

“Husband.” Persephone said it like it was both a statement and an admonishment. “Be kind. If Pan wants to watch Orpheus’s arrival from here, it’s not bothering anyone to let him do so.”

“I don’t see why…” Hades started to argue.

Pan watched as Persephone leveled Hades with one look, her brow furrowing and her eyes lighting up momentarily with some of her own dark fire. Pan gave an involuntary shudder.

Remind me to never, ever get on Sephy’s bad side.

“...oh,” Hades finished lamely, nodding repeatedly and waving his hand in Pan’s direction as he stood up quickly. If Pan wasn’t mistaken, he could’ve sworn that Hades was almost blushing.

“Whatever you say, darling.” Hades nodded at his wife before turning his attention back to Pan. “Stay as long as you’d like, Pan.” As quickly as he had come, Hades crossed the great room, kissed Persephone on the forehead, and disappeared in a pillar of smoke.

Persephone smiled, looking pleased with herself as she joined Pan at the windows overlooking the river.

“One day, you’re going to have to teach me how you get people to do whatever you want.” Pan shook his head in astonishment. It was impossible to reconcile the Hades he once knew before Persephone arrived. He had no idea how the goddess was able to wrangle one of the world’s most powerful gods, but he wasn’t complaining.

“Sexual favors, my dear Pan, sexual favors,” Persephone laughed with a sly smirk.

She snapped her fingers, and two silk cushions appeared on the floor in front of one of the great windows with a fresh amphora of wine. She nodded for Pan to sit, and he fell onto the cushions with an exhausted sigh.

Persephone poured the wine, and Pan downed his entire glass in a single sip, holding his cup out for more before Persephone had even brought her own cup to her lips. She didn’t even blink or react, simply refilling his cup at least twice more before Pan hiccuped and leaned his head against the cool windowpane.

“Do you want to talk about it?” Persephone asked softly, refusing to look out the window at the growing scene before them. The river banks were now crowded with people, as though every soul and shade in the Underworld had turned up for the reunion.

Pan could see Eurydice making her way through the fringes of the crowd, flanked by Makaria and Telodice. There was a rumbling noise building in the air that could only be identified as Thanatos… Orpheus was close.

“That’s good that her friends are with her,” Pan sighed, his melancholy slowly giving way to some of the anger that he had attempted to keep a lid on.

“Did she want you to go with her?” Persephone asked, her voice stoic and without judgment. Pan nodded, his voice cracking as his eyes filled with tears.

“She asked me to go with her this morning. I couldn’t do it. I know that’s horrible of me but I… I can’t watch. I can’t watch knowing what I know. Do you get t-that?” Pan sniffled as the wine soured in his stomach. For the first time in his life, Pan wondered if the wine mixed with his mood was going to make him sick.

Persephone put her hand on top of Pan’s and squeezed it, her eyes sad. “I know it doesn’t seem fair, but you have to respect Eurydice’s choices.”

“It’s the wrong choice!” Pan cried in a sudden outburst, the tears breaking free. His shout echoed off the rafters and surrounded him in the manifestations of his own grief. Pan turned on his heel and slammed his hands against the window, watching with satisfaction as it cracked beneath his fists.

“Don’t hurt yourself,” Persephone chided, raising a hand as a lilac bush burst forth in between Pan and the glass to protect him. Pan sank back down to the cushions and buried his head in his hands, sobbing with a force that shook his shoulders.

“It’s not fair, Persephone. She should know. She should know what he d-did!”

Persephone sighed, shaking her head in slow agreement. She poured another cup for Pan, watching as the wine turned into water, rightfully assuming that more wine was not what the moment needed—a rare and concerning moment when dealing with Pan.

“It was her decision, Pan,” Persephone chided gently. “We don’t have to agree with it, but it’s what she wanted—”

Persephone was cut off as a roar of applause rose up from the banks of the Styx. Persephone and Pan turned to the window, watching as Hades appeared and said something to the crowds amassed near the river. Within a few moments, everyone started to disperse, and Pan was grateful that Hades had enforced a moment of semi-privacy for Eurydice.

They watched on in silence as Orpheus appeared on the far side of the river, practically leaping into Charon’s boat. Pan turned away, unable to watch the actual moment of the reunion as his heart shattered inside of his body.

I don’t know if it’s possible for a body to contain so much grief. Pan wondered for the first time what it was like to have hurts that wine couldn’t fix.

“It doesn’t matter.” Pan shook his head, staring blankly at the floor.

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