Page 54 of Song of Memories

Pan bent down until his chest was pressed against Eurydice's back, wrapping one hand around her throat and squeezing gently. Eurydice let out a sound that was somewhere between a cry and a moan. Pan cursed as Eurydice fluttered around him in response.

"Hear me now," Pan grunted, his breath hot in her ear. "I'm not like anyone else you have ever dealt with, Eurydice, and there will be no escaping me." He punctuated his words with well-timed thrusts, as if he could drive home his point to the very core of Eurydice.

Her eyes burned as her heart seized in her chest, an overflow of emotions threatening to come out of her as Pan kept up his brutal, delicious pace. Orpheus had wanted to possess her, to keep her like a trinket; Pan wanted her to be his, not in ownership, but in something more equal altogether. He started speaking again as if he heard the thoughts running through Eurydice's head.

"You're mine, Eurydice, but don't forget that every inch of me has always belonged to you. Every hair on my head and every breath in my lungs.”

Pan pulled Eurydice up to her knees so her back was flush to his chest, tightening his grip around her throat and dropping his other hand to rub gentle circles around her clit. He felt even bigger inside of her this way, making Eurydice cry out. She dropped her head to his shoulder, the overflow of arousal and emotions making her sob.

"Let it out, my love, my heart," Pan was panting heavily and rocking his hips against hers. "Come for me. Let it all go."

Eurydice's body tightened up, and she screamed, her release pummeling through her like she had been run over by a herd of wild horses. Pan's hips stuttered, and he was coming a second later, his release spilling into her.

Eurydice nearly collapsed to the ground, but Pan caught her, holding her in his arms as he gently lowered them both down to the earth. He rearranged them until Eurydice was nestled on top of him, Pan on his back, resting her head on his chest. Eurydice dozed for an undetermined amount of time until she felt like her capacity for thought had come back.

"Pan..." she started slowly, and Pan made some sort of chuffing sound underneath her.

"If you are about to express some sort of sentiment of regret, I would like to inform you that I simply won't be accepting it." He opened his eyes and winked at her, his playful countenance always putting Eurydice at ease. Pan had been her best friend for centuries. She knew that he would listen to anything she had to say with sincerity.

"No, I don't regret it," Eurydice laughed. "I don't think anyone could regret sex like that."

Pan preened with obvious pride. "I'm flattered."

"Don't take it too seriously, god of fertility. I'm not sure if that means you're talented or just lucky in the sex department."

"Do you care enough to make the distinction?" Pan quipped back.

"Not at all." Eurydice gave a little shrug, propping her chin up on Pan's chest so she could look him in the eye. "I don't know if this feels too fast, too slow, or too...anything. I've known you for ages, but now that I've realized I love you, it feels like everything clicked into place all at once. I can't imagine going a day without you now. Is that insane? I know I should probably take some time, reflect on everything that happened with Orpheus..."

"Eurydice," Pan interrupted her gently, "you have spent centuries wondering about what the right thing is. You always think about other people and what their thoughts are. You stayed with Orpheus for as long as you did because you were worried about what people would say. Am I wrong?"

Eurydice flushed. "You're not wrong."

"Anyone in your position would've done the same thing. It's daunting." Pan pushed some of the hair off Eurydice's forehead. "Just answer one question. Do you love me? Do you want to be with me?"

"You know I do."

Pan smiled. "Then don't worry about anything else. If you feel later down the road that you want to take some time apart or you feel differently, we'll cross that road when we come to it."

"You'd let me go if I told you that I wanted some space?" Eurydice raised a brow and looked at Pan with a healthy dose of skepticism. Pan chuckled in response.

"Oh, sure. I'd let you go all the way into the next room over, if you really needed it. Might even let you go outside for a few hours if you really needed space."

Eurydice burst out laughing and tumbled off Pan's chest, landing on her back next to him. He laughed alongside her and found her hand, intertwining their fingers together.

"I'm serious, though. Whatever you need, I'll find a way to give it to you. Even if it means one day that you want some space. I just won't be happy about it, unfortunately, but I won't apologize for missing you."

Eurydice blushed bright red, kissing Pan's cheek and curling into his side. "You'll never have to."

III

27

For the first time in a long time, Eurydice woke up with a smile on her face. It was better than being content; she was happy. She'd spent years in the Underworld without a complaint, but everything else was different when she woke up next to Pan.

He was still fast asleep, his broad body curled around her protectively as if he was worried, she'd try to sneak away.

As if there will be any getting rid of me now, Eurydice thought to herself. Her heart was so full, it was going to burst. She had loved Orpheus in a way for a time, but that time was over. She had crawled through hell, very literally, to understand the love she had with Pan was only actualized when she leaned into what she wanted. Eurydice was no longer sitting idly on the sidelines of her own life. She was no simple muse; she did not exist for the inspiration of others. She was going to grow and cultivate her life the way she wanted it, an ironic lesson to learn after you were dead, and that life included Pan.

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