Page 35 of Song of Memories

Someone in the melee picked up a lyre, and the sudden sound of it shocked Pan; it doused over him like ice water.

"Eurydice," Pan gasped. He didn't let go of her but pulled away, gently cupping her cheek and staring her dead in the eyes. "What's happening right now?"

"What do you mean?" Eurydice looked a little surprised. "I was kissing you, until you stopped for no damn reason."

Eurydice leaned in to kiss him again, and Pan shook his head, avoiding her although it pained him.

"What about Orpheus?" Pan couldn't believe that he was stopping, not when he had the love of his life in his arms and begging to kiss him, but he couldn't partake in something that Eurydice was going to regret later. He barely survived her getting married to Orpheus; he wouldn't ever survive knowing that he was something Eurydice regretted.

Eurydice paled, turning her face away from Pan so he couldn't see her face.

"I don't want to talk about him right now." Pan could see the pain etched in her features, which lit another fire under his ass. He wrapped his arms tighter around her waist, gently trailing a thumb down her cheek.

“Did he hurt you?" Pan's voice was tense—coaxing in the way he approached Eurydice, but ready to behead Orpheus at the slightest provocation. As soon as he had anything that would justify the violence, he'd act on it.

"No, no, nothing like that." Eurydice shook her head, but Pan didn't believe her. "I mean... He did hurt me, but not the way you're thinking. I don't want to talk about him right now, Pan, please. Don't make me."

Pan couldn't possibly sort through all the emotions he was feeling at that precise moment. He needed to know what had driven Eurydice into his arms, even if it killed him and he stopped whatever this was in its tracks.

"I don't want to make you do anything you don't want to," Pan sighed, "but you've got to tell me. You were committed to making your relationship with Orpheus work. What happened?"

The drums increased, and there was a cacophony of joyful shouts and screams from the crowd around them. It was potentially the worst time and place to be having a discussion about Eurydice's relationship, but Pan didn't have a choice.

Eurydice shook her head. "I don't want to fucking talk about Orpheus. Everyone wants me to always talk about Orpheus. I don't give a fuck anymore, Pan. Do you understand me? Don't fucking be like everyone else and just let me be!" Eurydice's voice broke with emotion, tears slipping down her cheeks. It shattered any of the resolve that was left in Pan's body, which wasn't very much to begin with.

"That works for me. I could go the rest of my life without hearing his damn name ever again," Pan grunted, cupping Eurydice's cheek and kissing her again.

It was intoxicating; it was the sweetest wine and the most sublime high he'd ever experienced, all rolled up into one. Pan tugged them further away from the bonfire until they were at the edge of the clearing, some of the trees providing them partial privacy from the Dionysian madness surrounding them.

He kissed Eurydice with everything he had inside of him, his passion pouring into every lick and bite. Eurydice was wild against his body, jumping up into his arms and pinning Pan against the trunk of a tree. She wrapped her legs around his waist, and Pan nearly collapsed. He could practically feel her heat so close to his cock, only mere scraps of clothing between them. All he'd have to do was tug a little bit of fabric to the side, and he'd be inside of her.

A small part of Pan's brain started screaming at him, reminding him that this was not how he wanted everything to go with Eurydice.

She can't regret this.

Pan pulled away with a sharp gasp, Eurydice biting onto his lower lip and tugging it as he recoiled.

"Fuck, Eurydice." Pan tightened his grip on her, breathing heavily. "What do you want?"

"Stop asking me questions," Eurydice nearly started crying again, wrapping her arms around Pan's neck. "I don't know what I want. I don't want to even know right now. I need to just...embrace the fucking chaos!"

Pan knew what she was talking about. They were children of the wild, after all. To suddenly have her afterlife mapped out for her, to go from living in the forest to suddenly becoming the proper wife of a famous poet, would've been like clipping a bird's wings. Eurydice would figure out what she wanted in life because she always did. If she needed to embrace the possibilities of not knowing, he'd give that to her. But he couldn't give her all of him; he wouldn't survive if she determined later on that what she wanted didn't include Pan.

"Then just tell me what you want right now," Pan breathed, pressing a long line of tender kisses down her neck. It was intimate and caressing, something that he'd never bothered to do with any of his hook-ups before.

"I want you to fuck me," Eurydice exhaled all the words at once. She let her eyes flutter closed, and her head fell back while she started grinding her hips gently against Pan. He cursed under his breath, desperately praying to not come practically untouched under his clothes like a young satyr.

"I can't," Pan moaned, sounding like he was in physical pain. He started lowering Eurydice down to the soft earth beneath them while she made a noise of protest. Pan laid her on the ground and sat up on his knees, gently putting his hands on Eurydice's ankles.

"I can't fuck you," he whispered, leaning down and kissing Eurydice's bare knee. He trailed his tongue up her thigh, and her whole body shuddered. "But I can make you come, Eurydice. Do you want that?"

"Yes, fuck," Eurydice whimpered, screwing her eyes even more tightly closed and wriggling in place. "Please, Pan, do whatever you want to me. Only you." The words came out like a prayer, and Pan thought his heart would explode. In any other circumstance, he would've fallen to the ground and rejoiced.

She's drunk and she's upset, Pan reminded himself. She doesn't mean it.

If Pan only had one night with Eurydice, however, he knew he'd never forget it, no matter how many years he lived. He was hellbent on making sure that Eurydice never forgot it either.

Pan lay down on his stomach, wrapping his hands around Eurydice's legs and pulling her closer to him. She smelled like smoke, musk, and roses, and Pan had never smelled anything as heady and intoxicating as she was. Her body was practically vibrating off the ground, enticing Pan further.

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