Page 15 of Song of Memories

“I do hope that you’ll plan on dressing a little bit more appropriately now that I’m here.” Orpheus’s cruel comment cut through Pan’s recollection, and he surprised himself by just how much deeper his rage could get. Eurydice had always found freedom in dressing in shorter tunics, those favored by children or young men, and Pan couldn’t think of anything that mattered less.

Who cares what she wears? Pan snorted before quickly covering his mouth in an attempt to keep his hiding spot from being discovered. Besides, Orpheus is a damn fool. You want to deprive yourself of staring at Eurydice’s legs all day? Even though no one could read his thoughts, Pan blushed nonetheless as he peered through the leaves and dared get another glimpse of Eurydice.

She looked uncomfortable walking next to Orpheus, her steps unsure and her expression unsatisfied. Pan ached for her, and a deep need arose in him to make her smile. She was wearing her customary shorter tunic, and Pan nearly lost himself in visions of her lithe shape, dreaming of what she looked like when she allowed flowers and vines to twist up her ankles like jewelry.

“What do you mean by that?” Eurydice turned to Orpheus, the hurt written plainly across her face. Pan wanted Orpheus’s blood.

“Well, you’re dressed like a child, Eurydice. It’s not fitting for either of us, especially considering how many eyes are going to be on us for a while. We’re the hottest thing to happen in the Underworld since… I don’t know. Regardless, it wouldn’t hurt for you to clean up a little.”

Orpheus sounded bored, as if there was anything he’d rather be doing than walking with the lost love of his life. Pan shifted his weight from one foot to the other, reaching the edge of his limit as he watched Orpheus criticize Eurydice. He forced himself to stop following Eurydice and Orpheus for a minute, closing his eyes and breathing slowly. If he listened to Orpheus for another second, there was a very real possibility that he was going to emerge from the forest like a wild, unhinged satyr and snap Orpheus’s neck.

Pan’s wild streak was as synonymous with his presence as his satyr form; he struggled with keeping his temper out of the common lore that surrounded him. It would only frighten his human worshippers if they knew how frequently Pan might be pushed to horrendous fury with an angry streak that could only be matched by Ares or Hephaestus. Unlike the other gods, Pan’s anger was only ever triggered in defense of those he loved—the nymphs, the dryads, the forests themselves, and of course, Eurydice. If an overzealous farmer cleared out too many of Pan’s trees, his vengeance would know no bounds. Now that Orpheus was hellbent on rewriting his story with Eurydice and guilting her in the process… Pan needed to get his heartbeat under control.

Once Pan was able to open his eyes and not see red, he slowly crept through the underbrush and caught up to Orpheus and Eurydice. They entered the small clearing where Eurydice had been living, and Orpheus’s critique pushed Pan to the edge in record time.

“Is this trivial shed where you’ve been living? I’ve seen more impressive stables. No matter. Grab what you need, Eurydice, and let’s get out of here.”

Pan picked up the pace and jogged around to the back of Eurydice’s home, slipping through the backdoor. He heard one set of footsteps enter through the front, assuming that Orpheus was waiting behind in the clearing.

What sort of husband doesn’t want to see where his wife has been living for forty years? Pan forced himself to take another slow breath, slowly poking his head into the main room of the dwelling.

Eurydice was furiously wiping at her eyes, which were red with unshed tears. Pan watched for a moment while she put her hair up, released it, then put it up again, as if she was undecided on how to wear her own hair. She looked uncomfortable in her home, Orpheus’s comments clearly making her feel judged and nervous. There was a fleeting expression of anger that flickered in her eyes, and Pan could practically see the furious debate Eurydice was having with herself.

“Eurydice?” Pan whispered, peeking into the doorway. “Are you packing?”

Eurydice jolted and turned towards Pan, her eyes widening in surprise before breaking into a wide smile. Relief blanketed her expression, and her response to Pan’s presence further twisted the knife in his chest.

“Pan,” Eurydice exhaled heavily in comfort, “what are you doing here?” Eurydice crossed the space of the small dwelling and threw her hands around his neck, pulling him in for a tight hug. Pan couldn’t help himself from grabbing her tightly, as if he could pour all the unspoken love he had for her into one embrace. Everything about holding Eurydice in his arms felt right, and when she pulled away, his heart broke all over again.

“I heard that you were moving closer to the other souls in Asphodel, wherever Orpheus will be living,” Pan tucked a piece of Eurydice’s hair behind her ear, “and I wanted to come see you off.” Eurydice panicked slightly, her hand flying out to grip Pan’s bicep.

“Will you not come see me anymore?” The terrified look in her eyes made Pan want to carve his own horns off if he could alleviate her distress.

“Of course I will.” He put on a huge, warm smile for her benefit. “Don’t be ridiculous, Eurydice. I’m limited to the forests of the Underworld, though. You know this. It’s the only place Hades will allow me to return to freely, but I’ll sneak anywhere to see you.”

“As if you could keep me from the trees,” Eurydice sighed happily. She turned around and took inventory of the room, tossing a few small keepsakes of flower stems and ribbons into a bag. “I wouldn’t move out of here, honestly, but it’s only fair to give this a chance.”

Pan didn’t know if she was talking about living with Orpheus or giving Orpheus himself a chance, but he bit his tongue. He knew he wouldn’t be able to keep from telling her the truth if they started talking about her relationship with Orpheus, and Pan wasn’t capable of giving her unbiased advice.

Eurydice moved around the room, her feet barely touching the ground as she practically floated through the bare earth home. Pan had helped her build it, adding vines and blooming flowers into the thatched roof so she’d always be surrounded by nature.

It’ll physically hurt her to be away from the forest… Pan thought to himself as he watched Eurydice. Does Orpheus even know that? Does he care?

Eurydice stopped in front of a wall of ivy, which Pan had spent an entire afternoon helping her build indoors. The wooden grate which supported the vines was hand carved, with Pan refusing to use his magic but insisting on doing it himself.

“Will you take this?” Eurydice indicated towards the trellis. “I hate the thought of it sitting here without anyone to enjoy it. You worked so hard on it.” Eurydice’s eyes were sad as she stared at it. A surge of pride ran through Pan as he realized how much Eurydice loved something he made.

“How about this,” Pan offered, stepping closer to her, “I’ll move it for you. Find a place in your new home or garden for it, and I’ll bring it there.”

“Oh, will you?” Eurydice turned to him, her face lighting up. “I’d hate to leave it behind.”

“Of course.” Pan smiled at her, grabbing her hand and giving it a squeeze. “I’ll bring you some clippings too so you can regrow the vines.”

Eurydice’s smile widened even further. “That would be amazing if you could—”

“Eurydice!” Orpheus shouted impatiently. Pan could hear him pacing out in the clearing. “How many things could you possibly have in there?”

Eurydice flushed with embarrassment, turning away from Pan. “I’m sorry about that,” she whispered, only speaking to Pan. “I think he’s still adjusting, you know? It’s going to take some time for us to… I don’t know… mesh.”

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