Page 39 of Bear's Rejected Love

She shook her head. “No. Wrong time for that.”

“It happened before.”

“I didn’t know my body as well then, besides we were both so far gone we weren’t thinking straight.”

He didn’t say that if she did, he would stay. She knew he would stay. He’d given his word. He’d given her pretty much everything he had left to give, poured out all of it right there in the next room. He’d trusted her enough to give her his honesty and his pain. He wasn’t going to stay because she’d asked him to. He was going to stay because he wanted it. She knew he always had, which was why she went after him so hard the night of the fire. Why she wouldn’t give him an inch to doubt himself. She had to be firm to bring him back.

This was her mate and she wanted him, and he wanted her. It wasn’t that simple and she wasn’t even sure what this made them, but she couldn’t stop. The truth was, she’d always belonged to this man in every way one person could belong to another. She’d given him her promise and she never wanted to take it back.

She grasped his shoulders as he sank inside of her. She watched his face again, getting used to the size of him. She didn’t stop, even when it hurt. She didn’t stop because it hurt. It was the best part, getting used to him again, taking him inside of herself. In fifteen years, they’d only ever done this once. That one time had been her first time and anyone who said that was enough to not get pregnant was clearly very scientifically misinformed. She hadn’t thought that way. She just hadn’t thought at all.

She could barely think about anything now except the way Roan held her neck and filled her. She moved against him and with him, her instincts taking over. He was on the bottom, but that didn’t mean he wasn’t huge and powerful. He gave up control, but she didn’t need to have it all. She wanted them to share it equally.

She finally closed her eyes, getting lost in him, in the way he felt inside of her. Her hands ran up and down his arms, over his chest, feeling the raised scars, touching them reverently and gently. He was so hard beneath her, all muscle and power and maleness, but he held himself back. He moved with care. Even the way he held her neck wasn’t him grinding his fingers into her most sensitive spot or holding her in place while he drove into her mindlessly. He took care in everything he did. His hand supported her, the equivalent of a sweet touch of her hip.

When she trembled, he trembled.

When she panted, he echoed her breath.

When she rocked against him, grinding her hips, he pushed back.

Before they were actually mated, she used to think about him. About what this would be like. She’d had no idea that it would be this perfect. That it could feel this good. If she’d known, she’d never have been able to keep her promise of friendship. She couldn’t have, in good faith, taken him as a mate knowing that her word was a lie. She’d truly thought she was stronger than any desire she’d ever have. She had been, if she was being fair to herself. She hadn’t broken her word until Roan made it clear that he wanted her to.

She held onto him now, claiming him as hers. He must have felt it and known what she was doing because he looked up at her, his eyes so blue she could have fallen into them and been swept away, a violent rainstorm followed by a flashflood.

“I searched for so long for something that made sense. Something that didn’t feel like I was dying. When I was with you, I never felt like that. But that’s wrong. It’s wrong to feel that way. That isn’t what this is just about…”

“It’s not wrong.” She smoothed her thumb over his bottom lip, parting it from the top one. “It’s okay to need someone else. We don’t always have to be strong enough to fight our battles alone. We can share our demons I the other person is willing. We can share our happiness too.”

“But that’s not your job. You don’t have to make things better. And not like this. That’s… it’s just not… right.”

“It is right.” She kissed him, tasting him deeply. He poured himself into it, their tongues lashing together. He was hunger and darkness, but also sweet, sweet pleasure and white-hot raw need. “We’re mates. We’re tied together through the good and the bad.”

“I wanted to undo it. I still think that you deserve more. You always have.”

“And yes, we’re still bound. It’s more than one string. It’s a whole web. And when one string breaks, another picks up the weight. It never snaps altogether. It holds strong, even though those threads look so silky and fine.”

She traced that scar on his peck, the one she knew exactly where it came from. It reminded her of a home that neither of them had left. She’d been so extraordinarily sad about it that she hadn’t even let herself cry over it in case she never stopped, but now they had a new home. Another clan. Loving, helpful, kind people all around them. It felt safe. It felt like she could curl up here and be alright. It felt like she could curl up inside of Roan and somehow shelter him at the same time and they’d both be okay in the end.

That was a good story.

Once upon a time, two people came together and it felt a little like it was meant to be, but then everything fell apart and the years passed and the doubt grew, but maybe they were meant to be okay because somewhere in the middle, they found each other, and life knitted them back together and healed up all their wounds and they were okay. They were meant to be. Eventually, they even got their happily ever after. The end.

Roan shivered against her even though she hadn’t spoken out loud. She ground against him harder, reaching for her pleasure, reaching to give him his. She fucked him harder, and he fucked back just as raw, just as strong, just as wild.

Roan stopped kissing her, but he hugged her tight, pulling her to him so that her face ended up buried in his neck. She breathed him in, still moving with him, still feeling every bit of him. They’d never been this connected or this close. She clung to him while their bodies worked, hard and wild. She clung to him until she felt herself falling over that cliff again, hurtling towards the abyss of pleasure. The climax ripped through her. She was unprepared for the level of pleasure. It knocked her flat, except she stayed upright because Roan was holding her that way. She relied on his strength to get through the peak and the crests, the peaks and valleys.

He came too, and this time, neither of them watched the other. They kept their eyes closed and fell into it, felt all of it, let their bodies and their muscles work and relax and spiral and soar.

Physically, it felt right the first time. It was wonderful. It was everything she dreamed, but it was nothing like this. She’d never felt truly connected to Roan. She’d never felt like he could be hers.

But she did now.

She let herself believe and she let herself have that hope that in the end, however many years it took, things might be okay, and not just because of what they’d done or the way their bodies felt like they fit on instinct or the rightness of it, but because she knew herself and she was willing to work so, so hard for a future.

Chapter 16

Roan

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