I am feeling gloomy. Kind of a first for me. I wish you were here. I could use some company. Will you come save me?

I wanted to gather up a bucket full of toads to throw into the physician’s living quarters because he wouldn’t tell me about you. But I couldn’t work up the energy. Without you there with me, it didn’t seem worth it.

Your glum friend,

Curtis

Poor Curtis. There I had been, wallowing in my own grief, when my friend had needed me. Wanted me there. We could have helped each other, but instead I had become a recluse, hiding away from the world. I thought that would be the worst of it, but the next letter broke my heart.

Dear Truly,

I have been thinking. I haven’t heard from you at all, and I feel like I need to apologize. Perhaps you blame me for the attack. I guess I am partially responsible for what happened to you. I saw your sister today and badgered her into telling me the whole truth. Comfort told me that your arm was broken, and your face was burned badly, and that you are feeling depressed. If it wasn’t for me wanting you to ride beside me, you could have ridden with the guards and stayed safe. If I had gotten to you sooner after the mob came, you wouldn’t have been injured.

I was lucky and got off easy with just few minor scars, but you got the worst of it. Not just physical injuries, but on that day, I could hear the mob when they took you. I heard a lot of what they were yelling when I was trying to get to you. It still haunts me. I cannot even count the number of times that I have wished I had been the one taken instead of you. I would have gladly borne that if I knew it would have spared you even a moment of pain.

Please believe me when I tell you, I was trying my best to save you. I saw them dragging you away, and I was beside myself trying to cut down anyone who stood between us. There were so many in the mob. I wanted more than anything to protect you, but I couldn’t that day. And I will regret that forever.

I am so sorry, Truly. I should have been there for you, but I failed. I hope you don’t hate me. I couldn’t live with myself knowing that you hate me. It doesn’t matter to me if you look different now. I want to be with you. I can’t imagine a future without you in it.

Love Forever,

Curtis

I sat with the letters clutched in my hands, gaping at the words written on the page. All these years, had he thought I blamed him for the mob attacking? Had he thought I was angry with him, was refusing to see him because of his actions?

I had to fix this. Even though it had been years ago, even though he was now engaged to someone else, I had to see Curtis again. To explain. To apologize. He needed to know it wasn’t his fault. I didn’t know exactly what Comfort had written to him in her letter, but it didn’t matter. Now that he was engaged to Aria, it didn’t matter what we felt for each other. I knew what I needed to do.

My body seemed to act of its own accord. I stood up briskly, threw open my bedroom door, and marched down the flight of stairs, finding Mother and Comfort preparing for their next lesson, and Cynthia sweeping away the remnants left behind by the last class.

“I am going to the ball!” I announced loudly. They all jumped and stared at me. I handed Comfort the mirror she had requested, which she took, open-mouthed.

“Wh-what?” Mother stammered.

“The royal ball tonight. I will be attending,” I said authoritatively.

Cynthia rolled her eyes. “You do know that there will be people at the ball who will see your face, right?”

“Shut up, Cynthia!” snapped Comfort. She got up and hurried over to hug me. “Oh, Truly, I am so glad you are coming with us! It will be much more fun with you there! And don’t worry, Mother and I will fix your hair and cosmetics, and no one will notice anything.”

“Everyone will notice,” Cynthia griped, but we all ignored her.

Girls were beginning to arrive for their final ball preparations, so I retreated upstairs. I held the letters, reading them over and over. Memories flooded my mind, and this time, I didn’t push them away, but reveled in those happy, golden times. Playing pranks on Hubert. Racing horses across the fields. Staying up late and listening to the bard in Avivia. Dancing together at the balls.

I had to see him again. Nothing would stop me.

CHAPTER 44

Our driver turned into the castle grounds. Cynthia had insisted that we go on ahead without her and had still not said anything about her ball gown and shoes. The gates had been left wide open, and guards lined the cobblestone path, standing at attention as coach after coach swept in, and girls hung out of the coach’s windows, gazing in wonder at the castle, ablaze with light.

I didn’t look ahead at the castle with the others. I was beginning to feel ill. What had I been thinking, coming to the ball? I wasn’t so much worried about everyone laughing at my scarred face. It would be difficult for anyone to notice; Mother had done an excellent, detailed application of cosmetics that afternoon, and I had borrowed one of Comfort’s dresses, and a pair of her shoes. I was more worried about what Curtis would say after all this time of being away. If he had never received my letter, and had one from Comfort in its stead… But again, I reminded myself, he was with Aria. I was here to apologize and give closure. That was all. I smoothed my hair down. It had finally grown back. It cascaded down past my shoulders, nearly to my elbows.

Then, as if by habit, I pulled out my fan to shield my face. Gently, Mother tugged my fan away and tucked my hair behind my ear, putting my face on full display. She smiled warmly at me and nodded out of the window. “That grove of trees was where your father proposed to me.”

Comfort and I stared out at the spot Mother had indicated. Among the trees, we could see a small pond, lily pads floating on top, and a stone bench by the water’s edge. Flowers dotted the ground around it. It looked picturesque, and it didn’t take much imagination to see a young Mother sitting on the bench as Father knelt in front of her.

I squeezed Mother’s hand, noticing as I did that her chin was quivering. “It is beautiful,” I told her, and Comfort nodded her agreement.

Mother blinked rapidly, and then gestured out the window again. “And over there,” she continued, “is where Truly fell off a horse on her twelfth birthday.”