“Right.”
“So now, all you have to do is go back and say that you like him.”
“I can’t do that!”
“Why not?”
“That would be weird!”
“He already told you that he likes you, didn’t he?”
“No he didn’t.”
“He tried to kiss you, didn’t he? That is the same thing.”
“But I just can’t tell him that!”
Comfort rolled her eyes, exasperated. “Look, Truly. He was probably super nervous. It doesn’t matter if he is a prince or a serving boy from the kitchens. Boys do all the asking. All the initiating. All the leaning in, hoping to get something, anything, back. It was a huge blow to his ego to have you reject him.”
I felt crushed. What had I done?
“I know you didn’t mean it that way!” Comfort hurried on. “I know you wouldn’t want to do anything that would hurt him. But you were scared. So tell him that. Tell him that you were scared but that you do like him. He will try again if he knows he won’t get rejected.”
“But it will be awkward.”
“Of course it will be awkward,” Comfort exclaimed. “But would you rather have one awkward conversation and everything be fixed, or no conversation and every interaction with him from now until forever be awkward? Just watch. He will start to avoid you. And if you don’t address the issue, he won’t ever talk to you again. He won’t even look at you again. So tell him! I promise, he will appreciate it. The longer you put it off the worse it will be. If you say nothing, it will get worse and worse, so it feels like you are becoming more distant each day, and then that becomes your new normal—never talking or looking at each other ever again. Is that what you want?”
“Well, when you put it that way…”
“Boys need a lot of encouragement,” Comfort said knowingly. “But they are a little obtuse too. So don’t drop subtle hints. Be blunt, and he will forgive you.” She paused. “And then tell me what happens after. Sisters need to know these things.”
CHAPTER 8
The next day, I saw Curtis during our morning languages class. The tutor was at the front of our small group, drily explaining common grammatical errors. We usually sat next to each other, but today, Curtis walked in last and selected a seat far away from mine. I kept trying to catch Curtis’ eye, but he stared at our instructor the entire hour and refused to even glance in my direction. The same thing happened in archery, literature, and arithmetic. Any time I tried to get Curtis’ attention, he would pretend like I wasn’t there. It was just as Comfort had predicted.
I could just leave the conversation for another day. He clearly didn’t want to look at me, let alone talk to me. But I couldn’t stand not talking to Curtis. It hadn’t even been a full day since I had shied away from his advances, and I already felt lonely and missed his companionship. Comfort’s advice about not putting it off kept ringing in my ears. Finally, I cornered him as our classmates were headed to the dining hall for lunch.
“Curtis, may I talk to you?” I asked, blocking his way down the hall.
Curtis shrugged indifferently, looking pointedly over my shoulder as he continued to refuse to make eye contact.
I waited for everyone else to pass us before I took a deep breath, but no words came out. A shrill squeak emanated from me instead. I tried again. I inhaled and then forced myself to say, “Curtis, I…I like you.”
Curtis’ grumpy expression cleared, replaced by one of incredulity. “What?”
“I like you,” I repeated to Curtis’s shiny shoes. I was too embarrassed to look at him. “A lot. I just wanted to let you know.”
“Oh,” was all Curtis could come up with. Eventually he added, “I like you too. But I guess you already knew that because of…you know…”
I rocked back and forth on my heels. “So… so sorry about, you know, yesterday… I was just, well…”
“It’s okay,” Curtis cut me off. I chanced a glance up at him. He looked embarrassed too and shuffled his feet as he rubbed the back of his neck, which was bright red. “I was trying to be…well…never mind.” He stopped talking and gazed off over my head.
The air was thick with the uncomfortable silence. I watched a spider slowly crawling up the wall by Curtis’ shoes. What now? Neither of us knew what to say or do.
“So… I’m going to go, uh, eat.” I said. I couldn’t think of what else to say, and the situation was already uncomfortable enough.
“Yeah. Yeah, okay. That is a good eat. I mean, a good plan… you know, to… uh, eat,” he finished lamely. “I guess I will see you later.”