Page 92 of Knot My Sin

“I don’t feel like I deserve anything extra,” I finally say, realizing it’s true. Ambrose turns the wheel so hard, I scream as he dramatically turns the truck in a circle.

“Are you fucking kidding me right now,” he snarls, looking over at me once he rocks to a stop. His usually perfect hair is falling out of his bun and into his face, his dark eyes wild. “Why do you feel that way? How? You’re gorgeous, have a bit of sass that I can’t wait to see come out more, and you’re not afraid of our darker sides anymore.”

“I was afraid every alpha was abusive,” I murmur. “You could have been anyone, and the fear would have been there either way.”

“Okay,” he says slowly, leaning back in his chair to push his hair off his face. Unfortunately, it just seems to find a way to flop back. The longer hair and facial scruff just manages to make his features appear sharper somehow. “I’m going to say this, then. You are allowed to reach for things you think aren’t yours. Want more, take it with both hands and never let it go. You know what, fuck this.”

Pulling out his phone, he chews on his lip. “What are you good at, honey? Or rather, what do you like to do?”

“That’s the thing,” I sigh. “I have no idea. I haven’t been allowed to have a single wish, dream or want for myself that didn’t revolve around my alpha.”

“Not yours,” he grunts. “We belong to you. The alpha who hurt you I have plans to make into pig food as soon as possible. Maybe I’ll make sure he’s alive when we throw him in.”

His musings make me shake my head as I listen to him. Trey is too well protected. There’s no way they’ll find him.

“No one knows where he lives,” I tell him. “The man is a recluse.”

His fingers fly over the keys as he texts someone.

“How do you feel about taking an aptitude test? It’ll help you find out what you excel in, and then we can enroll you into a school or help you find a job in that area,” he says. “I would offer to just open a bank account in your name, but I have a feeling you wouldn’t touch it.”

He’s right. Probably.

“I love this idea,” I tell him with wide eyes. “Thank?—”

“Don’t thank me,” Ambrose murmurs with a small smile. “One of us really should have thought of this sooner. Flynn takes cooking classes twice a week with a renowned chef because his passion lies there. He doesn’t care about making money, since we have more than enough of it, but I want to give you access to whatever you want. There’s so much that can be done virtually, there’s no reason not to.”

I hear what he doesn’t say, and I agree. I can’t exactly be a normal omega and go to school or work on a normal day job because it’s not safe. Even if Trey was dead, I still wouldn’t want to. This house is as protected as I can get, and I’ve been getting more comfortable here.

“I think we’re all trying to figure out what the next steps are,” I say carefully. He’s being absurdly sweet right now, and I’m trying hard to meet him where he’s at. It’s not every day you find yourself adding an omega to an established pack.

“Yes, but we’re still doing a shit job at it,” he grumbles, pressing on the accelerator pedal to get us moving again. Once the truck is no longer facing the wrong direction, he continues. “You lost so much, it’s hard to wrap my head around it all. I’ll get better, I promise.”

How can I tell him that he already is? Just accepting the fact that I am the way I am and finding ways to help me fit back into the world I left ten years ago is more than I could ever imagine.

The world feels really big as we drive through the gates and onto the road. There aren’t many cars around us, I notice, and as the minutes tick by, it doesn’t seem like a highway that’s traveled much by people.

Ambrose turns on the radio to music I don’t recognize, and I allow myself to really think about how much time has passed over the ten years. I’m careful to keep my thoughts neutral, because I don’t want to worry anyone.

I don’t know any of the current trends, some of the slang feels foreign to me, and the music may as well be from another planet. I’m ignorant of who the president of the United States is, or why I should even care about his or her politics. Life and the world left me behind when I was sold.

It’s a sobering thought to have all of this hitting me at once, because I’ve been struggling to just survive to the next moment. I suppose in that light, it still doesn’t really matter. It just feels as if the world has left me behind. I guess I need to decide how I want to reintroduce myself to it.

“Hmm, I love this song,” Ambrose murmurs. I turn to ask him a question, anything about the singer, when he begins to sing the song. My jaw drops because he knows every word, and it’s an upbeat tune.

Ambrose’s voice is deep and rich, and sounds as if it’s used to singing.

“You’ll catch flies that way, honey,” he says with a laugh. I don’t know this side of him, but damn do I want to see more.

My teeth clink shut as I blink at him.

“Will you sing some more for me?” I ask him.

“Of course,” he says. “Road trip singing is the best. We’ll be on the road for a bit.”

I didn’t ask him where we were going, but as I lean back to listen to him, it doesn’t seem so important any more. The time flies by with the miles, until he turns off at an exit.

Mankato, Minnesota.

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