Page 50 of Cowboy Triplets Next Door

The one unexpected side effect of letting myself fall for the Hellstone triplets was letting go of my anger at them for buying the ranch. It happened without me realizing it. I was mucking Betsy’s stall when it hit me that I wasn’t holding it against them anymore. The part that gutted me was that when my brain reassigned that anger, it directed it at the people it probably should’ve been directed at all along. My parents. I was suddenly overwhelmed with the desire to scream at them. I wanted to beat my fists into the barn wall and exhaust myself until I couldn’t feel anger at them anymore.

It was different from the anger I’d felt toward the guys. It was raw and double-edged. It cut me as much as it cut my parents’ memory. There was a wild sense of betrayal and a crushing amount of guilt for feeling the way I felt. I gave up on getting any work done and paced the barn floor instead. My mind was a tornado of emotions and I needed an anchor.

My gaze snapped up to Gray’s as he strode into the barn. He took one look at me and tossed his hat on a bale of hay. “What’s wrong?”

I took in his sweaty hair and face, the way his shirt clung to his damp muscles, and the feral way he watched me, and found my anchor. I ran and jumped into his arms. His muscles meant I didn’t even need to wrap my legs around him.

He grunted as he caught me and backed me into one of the support poles. The thick wood dug into my back as I clawed my fingers through his hair and down his back. I panted against his mouth as I held his gaze. He pinned me with his hips and yanked my shirt over my head. Instead of taking my bra off, he shoved it up and grabbed my bare breasts before lowering his mouth to them and sucking hard enough to make me cry out. He knew exactly what I needed without me telling him.

Gray ripped a button off my jeans as he undid them and shoved them down my legs. He got them over one of my boots and then ripped my panties before pushing his own jeans down low enough to get his dick out. Then, he pinned me to the pole again, with his hardness buried inside of me that time. I cried out his name and clung to him as he set a brutal pace. His hips jackhammered into me and I knew the inside of my thighs would bear marks from his jeans.

I gasped as his hand wrapped around my throat and tightened enough to get my attention. I flicked my gaze up to his and moaned at the wild look in his eyes. I couldn’t lift my head from the pole but I angled my head enough to offer him my mouth.

“Whatever upset you, we’ll work it out together.” His growled words finished the gutting my earlier feelings had started. Tears leaked from the corners of my eyes that Gray licked away. He pressed his forehead to mine. “Let go, Bumble B. I’ll take care of you.”

I came hard and fast, the pleasure ripping through me and leaving me completely raw. My moans turned into gasping cries and then I was sobbing in Gray’s arms as he sank to the barn floor with me wrapped around him.

“There you go. Let it out, baby.” He stroked from my head down to my back, the long motions more relaxing that he knew.

Through shaky breaths and weaker sobs, I said the words that filled me with shame but had to get out. “I hate them right now.”

Gray held me tighter. “Who?”

I forced him to loosen his hold so I could sit back and look him in the eye. I wanted to see if he was as disgusted with me as I was. “My parents.”

He frowned but that was the only physical reaction he gave. “Why, B?”

“I blamed you, Owen, and Keaton but it wasn’t your fault. It was theirs. They never told me how bad the ranch was doing. I tried to help! I wanted to take over the accounts but they wouldn’t let me. They hid what a mess it was and then they just died and left me with the debt and the responsibility of losing this place.” I swiped at my eyes as more tears fell just as fast. “I never could’ve saved the ranch. I knew they wanted me to, though, so I tried. I tried and I tried until I could barely breathe. It was lost long before I took over but they left me to deal with it. I hated myself for not being able to fix it. And then I hated you.”

He growled and cupped my head in his big hands. “I’m sorry, Billie. I can’t pretend to understand the shit parents do to their kids. You shouldn’t have had to face losing this place on your own.”

“But I didn’t lose it. Because of you and your brothers.” I sucked in a shuddering breath. “I’m sorry. I blamed you but it wasn’t your fault.”

“Don’t ever apologize to me for that shit, B. Your sass and attitude are what made me fall in love with you. Even if we didn’t deserve your anger for the ranch, we deserved it for a dozen other things, I’m sure.” He paused. “The way you feel about this place, Billie? It makes me think your parents cared a whole helluva lot about it and I’m sure facing losing it was awful. The idea of letting you down probably would’ve been crushing. Maybe they thought they could figure it out before it was your mess. Be angry if you need to, honey, but I can see how much it’s eating you up to even say you think you hate them. Don’t do that to yourself.”

I swallowed and nodded as his words sank in. I needed time to process what he was saying, but I knew he was probably right. My parents— “You’re in love with me?”

Gray smirked. “Yeah. I’ve told you that before, right? No? Well, now’s as good a time as any, I guess. I’m in love with you, Billie Myers.”

More tears escaped. “You love me.”

“Yes, Bumble B. I love you. You stomped in and shook my entire world up and I couldn’t be happier about it.” He kissed my tears again and let out a rough breath against my lips. “Maybe this wasn’t the right time to tell you.”

“I love you, too. I’m in love with you, too. It’s scary how much.” My breathing sped up as I made the confession. “I mean it. I’m terrified. I’ve never loved anyone like this. I don’t know if I’m going to be good at it. Will it fade? Will you wake up one day and love me less? Will I wake up and hate you again one day? What if—”

He slowly kissed me until my breathing slowed and my mind was as quiet as my mouth. “I promise to love you forever, Billie. And even if you wake up and hate me, it’s just going to be too bad. I’m never going to let you leave me. This is going to be our family ranch now and we’re going to fill it with a bunch of little babies to traumatize the same way our parents traumatized us. This is for keeps, B.”

Through laughter and tears, I struggled to get out words clear enough for him to understand them. “My parents weren’t so bad, I guess. Except for the debt, our kids will be lucky if that’s how they’re traumatized.”

“Yeah, I can’t say the same for our parents, but that’s okay. We’ll learn from you.”

“You really want to have kids with me?”

Gray smiled. “I’d be happy with ten or so.”

“What about Owen and Keaton?” I blinked away the last of my tears and rested my cheek on his shoulder.

“Oh, yeah. They probably want even more. You’re going to have to be the one to stop us. If it were up to us, you’d be knocked up now and until you’re fifty.”

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