Page 86 of Downpour

Ray clenched his jaw, and his stormy expression returned. “I’ll give you what you want. I just need to know what it is.”

Him. I wanted him.

The thought startled me with its immediacy. “What do you want?” I countered.

Ray shook his head. “That’s not what I asked. Take the next exit.”

Did he seriously just give me directions? He was being so nonchalant about a conversation that should have been highly intimate.

If he wasn’t going to be brave, I would be. “I like you,” I confessed. “A lot. And maybe that’s weird since I work for you and we don’t have much in common. But I like hanging out with you. And I’m pretty sure you’re the sexiest man I’ve ever met in person.”

Ray raised an eyebrow. “In person?”

I shrugged. “I mean, Ryan Reynolds exists.”

He cracked a smile. “That’s fair.”

I held his hand a little tighter as I exited the highway and made the left turn he pointed out. “I don’t want to get my hopes up because I know you probably don’t want what I want. So if you just want sex, that’s fine.”

“What do you want, Brooke?”

“I want to be with you. To see where things go. And if it doesn’t work, it doesn’t work. But at least we tried.”

“You want to date me?”

I hated his tone, as if it was strange to want to date. He could probably have any woman he wanted.

“You don’t have to sound so appalled.”

“I’m not appalled.” Ray sighed. “The end game of dating is marriage, and I’m not the marrying kind.”

“Says who?”

“Says me.”

“Why? Because you don’t want it?” I laughed. “I’m not walking down the aisle any time soon. I didn’t pack a white dress and I’m not driving us to the courthouse.”

He let go of my hand and raked his fingers through his hair. “Don’t play this fucking game with me. I thought you were better than that.”

“What game?”

“The thing people do where they pretend like I’m not paraplegic. I am. That’s not changing. The game where people pretend like it doesn’t affect everything. I can’t drive you on dates. I can’t walk beside you and hold your hand. I can’t dance with you at a wedding. I can’t be the one to take you to the hospital when you’re in labor with our babies. I’m not putting someone I love through that. I’m not going to make you take on a dependent when you should have a partner. I’m not going to be selfish, no matter how much I want to be.”

Oh. He… He said a lot of things.

I veered into a fast food parking lot and slammed on the brakes. “Did you just say you love me?”

Ray pressed his head against the headrest. “Really? That’s what you got from all of that?”

“Yes or no.”

“It doesn’t matter.”

“It matters to me. Isn’t that something people promise to each other? For better or worse? In sickness and in health?”

He stared out the window. “They promise those things before they happen. It’s a frivolous insurance policy that doesn’t apply to pre-existing conditions.”

I pushed the gear shift into park and turned in the seat. “Ray…”

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