Page 110 of Downpour

“Well, if you knew I’d be here, then you know why I’m here and not at your house. So, if you’ll excuse me, I’ll be spending the rest of my time off the clock away from myboss.”

“Brooke,” Ray said as he shoved on the wheels and pushed himself into the entrance of Anny’s stall.

Anarchy lunged at him, snapping at his head as a warning.

“Jesus—fuck—” Ray shoved backward. “What the hell is her problem?”

“She doesn’t like people who don’t respect her space. And neither do I. You don’t get to be angry at me, Ray.”

Heat blazed in his eyes. “I do get to be angry. Do you understand how fucking worried I was? You can’t just walk away from me without an explanation. You don’t get to do that. Not when I care about you.”

I gritted my teeth. “I absolutely get to walk away. Especially because I’m just the girl who works for the company that you hired to send help.”

He was visibly taken aback.

“Yeah.” I grabbed the broom and pitchfork and stomped out of the stall to hide the fact that tears were filling my eyes. “That felt great after spending the weekend thinking that I meant something to you.”

Ray caught me around the waist, and the tools clattered in my hands. “You do mean something to me. Do you understand that? Coming out of the bathroom and finding you gone scared the shit out of me.”

I jerked out of his grasp and put the tools back on the hanging organizer. “Could have fooled me.”

“I care about you!” His shout cracked like a whip.

I spun on him. “You don’t get to say that and think it’ll make everything better. Your family knows we’ve been fooling around. You saying that I’m just ‘the help’ hurt me, and you know it.”

I felt stupid for the tears running down my face, but I stopped caring what he thought of me the minute I didn’t mean anything to him.

“I’ve never been anything but honest,” I said as I pulled off the rubber boots and slipped back into my flip-flops.

“It’s the truth. I pay you,” he said.

My vision blurred and burned. “Fuck. You,” I spat.

“Brooke.” His hand shackled my wrist. “I’m not denying anything.”

“What happened to all those things you said to me in the truck? Huh? Where was that guy? I get that this isn’t easy for you, but if I’m not mistaken, you’re the one who figures it out. So stop being a fucking coward and figure it out.”

“I’m trying!” he shouted. “But every fucking time I think I can do this, something reminds me that I can’t. Someone broke into my house. What if we had been there? What if I couldn’t protect you? You don’t think that weighs on me?”

“That’s your problem,” I yelled back. “I’m sorry, but I’ve told you how I feel. I can tell you that I want you just like this until I’m blue in the face, but believing it is on you.”

He froze.

I had a headache from crying, and I was over it. “I’m going back to my house,” I said, utterly exasperated. “I’ll see you on Monday.”

I could hear the crunch of his wheelchair rolling over debris and hay as he came up behind me.

Warm hands slid up my hips. “Stay,” he rasped as he leaned forward and rested his forehead on the small of my back. “I promise I’m working on it. I swear to you. I just need... I just need more time. I’m trying to figure it out.”

I wanted to fall into him and trust that he wasn’t playing games with my heart. “You don’t get to say that. It’s not a fix. You don’t get to buy time with empty promises.”

“I love you,” he said softly and calmly from behind me. “I do. And that’s why I’m trying really fucking hard not to hurt you. That’s why you can’t be with me.”

“That’s the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard.”

“I love you and that’s why I want better for you. I want someone good for you.”

I turned to face him. “You are the greatest good.”

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