Page 46 of Downpour

“I... I need to apologize.”

That piqued her curiosity.

“I’m sorry.”

Brooke waited. “For?”

“I’m just... Sorry. Okay?”

She shook her head. “It’s not an apology if you don’t say what you’re sorry for.”

I held back a growl and rubbed the throbbing in my temple. “I’m sorry for being a jackass. Not just today. I’m sorry for most days.”

She relaxed a little bit. “Can I ask you a question?”

I knew what was coming. It was the inevitable question I didn’t want to answer. But she deserved to know.

“How long have you been able to...”

“Use my legs?” It wasn’t walking. It felt more like trying to use stilts blindfolded.

She nodded.

“A few weeks. It’s hit or miss. I’ve been working on it in physical therapy. Sometimes my body decides it’s going to cooperate and other times I can’t get out of my wheelchair.”

Warmth and pressure wrapped around my hand. I looked down to see that Brooke was squeezing it. “You can trust me. I won’t tell.”

Because she needed the money. Not because she wanted me. I couldn’t let myself forget that.

“My therapy team thinks this is as far as I’m going to go. Everything after this is just maintenance. I don’t want to get everyone’s hopes up.”

Brooke tilted her head to the side like a curious puppy. “Why not? Hope is a great thing.”

“Because I could hear Christian praying when I was in a coma,” I blurted out. “I can’t explain it, but I remember hearing him. My brother’s not a praying man, but he kept praying for miracles. Not telling them is more merciful than getting their hopes up and letting them down when I don’t recover.”

“But that’s such a burden,” she said softly. Her hand still hadn’t left mine and it felt so fucking good.

“I should have died, Brooke. I should have died instantly, but I didn’t. And then I wasn’t supposed to wake up in the hospital, but I did. And then I wished I had died in that arena. I was supposed to be quadriplegic for the rest of my life, but I’m not. My hands weren’t supposed to work, but they do. I was supposed to be paraplegic, and I am. It’s not an all-or-nothing diagnosis. Some mobility doesn’t change that. Everything I’ve gained could disappear tomorrow. I can’t keep expecting miracles. I’ve already gotten my share and then some.”

Her blue eyes were soft like a twilight sky. “Can I give you a hug?”

That... wasn’t at all what I expected her to say. “Why?”

“Because I have a feeling that you haven’t had one in a while. And if we’re keeping secrets, what’s one more? Besides, I like hugging it out after an apology. It seals the forgiveness.”

I stared at her optimistic face for a moment before turning to face her on the couch and opening my arm. “Come here, Sunnyside.”

Brooke laughed and scooted over.

She didn’t go for a quick side-hug. Nope. She wrapped her arms around me and rested her head on my chest. “See? Don’t you feel so much better?”

I wrapped both arms around her and held her tight. “Yeah.” I let out a heavy breath. “It feels good.” And I didn’t want to let go.

Smoke filled the kitchen,and the fire alarm let out a piercing shriek. “What the hell are you murdering in here?”

Whatever it was, the smell was atrocious.

Brooke waved the oven mitts at the oven door to try and clear the smoke. “I thought I’d smoke a brisket. But brisket is super expensive. So, I bought a pound of ground beef and shaped it into a brisket. I mean, they both come from cows. It’ll be great! I think the smoke is a good sign.”

---