Page 47 of Killing Emma

Emma

He’s not going to kill me.

“But he has no idea what he’s going to do,” I say to myself, conversing out loud like I’m in a psych ward. “Jared thought I belonged there for a while.” I roll my eyes as I stare at the ceiling.

When I lost my mom, the grief was like a rollercoaster. At first, I thought I was okay. I let myself grieve and live in sadness for a month, and then I told myself I had to get back to normal. That’s when it started coming in these waves. I’d be happy—almost normal and carefree—and then I’d crash even harder the next day.

“I don’t know why it’s so hard for you to admit you might have a problem,” Jared’s voice comes to life in my head. “It’s not embarrassing to need help, Emma. I think… I think you might have bipolar disorder.”

I don’t have bipolar disorder. I lost my mom, my marriage wasn’t what I wanted it to be, and I tried so hard to have children—but that didn’t happen either. I was watching my life go up in flames. Maybe to the outside world, it should’ve been fine. I had all the money I could ever want, and yet I never even spent it.

I should’ve told Lydia I was drowning.

I deflected over and over, never letting her in. It didn’t help that Jared didn’t like her. He thought she filled my head with ideas that involved leaving him.

“She’s toxic to your mental health, too. She lives in the books she writes—and she’s just trying to convince you to do the same.”

I laugh at the sound of his voice in my head and run my hands over my face. He was holding on so tight yet fucking someone else in his spare time. Whether justified or not, it was slimy. I could’ve forgiven him—if I loved him. But I didn’t love him anymore. I didn’t even love me.

Do I love me now?

I think about the fear pulsing through my body as I slid out of Luca’s grip in the woods, and how the will to survive kicked in. I felt so alive—and when I laughed in the yard with Major, the happiness crept back into my soul. Luca might be the death of me in one way or another, but he’s made me feel alive again.

And I don’t know what to do with that.

The sound of a bark breaks my thoughts and I shoot up in bed, hearing Major going off upstairs. My heart jumps to my throat. Does he bark like that when Luca comes back? Is that normal?

I flip the covers back, and slide out of the bed, carefully moving toward the stairs. Major is still barking when I make it to the top of the staircase. My heartbeat throbs in my ears, and I take long breaths to slow it down so I can listen.

“What the fuck,” a voice says on the other side. “Shut up, Major.”

It’s not familiar.

“Luca!” the voice calls. “Where the fuck are you?”

My stomach lurches as I realize just how close it is to the door. Sweat beads up across my forehead. Is this the reason he told me to lock the door from the inside? Will someone hurt me? Or is it just his jealousy?

“Hopefully, you’re taking care of this fucking mess,” the voice calls out. I jump as the lock suddenly turns on the bottom of the knob. I consider grabbing it, but I’m too late as the door jerks, hanging on the deadbolt at the top. “What the fuck?” The man on the other side of the door grumbles, jerking on it again. It begins to splinter.

Oh shit. Shit. SHIT.

“Luca, you piece of shit!” the guy shouts as a heavy kick rattles the frame. He jerks at the door again, and this time I do grab the knob, keeping him from turning it. “Ah, are you trying to keep me out, Emma?” he snarls through the door. “Did Loverboy install a lock for you?”

I stay silent. I never saw Luca install a lock. I figured it was always there.

“I take it that he did,” the man on the other side of the door cackles. “But now, I know he’s not down there, is he?”

Again, I don’t say anything, and Major fills the silence, his barks growing urgent—but he sounds muffled… Like he’s been locked outside.

“Oh, when I get my hands on you…”

I shudder, and as I do, another heavy kick lands on the door. This one splinters the frame, and I feel the give.

“Have I ever told you how much I love a challenge? Luca and I are similar in that way,” he huffs, his voice clearer than ever. “The only difference between the two of us is that I take what I want—and I’ll take your pussy and your life with no hesitation.”

My heart is in my throat as his final kick lands on the door, sending the door and me flying backward. I stumble, my ass hitting the stairs, and careening down. It knocks the breath out of me, but I maintain consciousness.

“Ouch,” the figure at the top of the staircase gleans. “Luca should’ve known he can’t keep me out. It’s like him to keep someone all to himself, you know—but then again, this is the first time he’s gotten his dick wet.”

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