Page 76 of Killing Emma

“Fucker,” I mutter, fumbling with the keyboard, but nothing I do seems to bypass that message. It flickers over and over again. Luca doesn’t want me to know where he’s going—and he’s obviously not coming back.

Did I run him off? Is this it? He’s going to pass me to Jude and disappear? Was this part of the plan all along?

I rip the keyboard away from the computer and throw it as hard as I can across the room. The cord hangs and sends one of the monitors careening to the floor. It hits with a crash, and the rush of adrenaline that comes with it feeds into my anger.

And it feels fucking good.

I tear the rest of the monitors off the wall and send them crashing across the room, shattering the screens and denting the drywall. “I’ll pay to replace them,” I say, as I burst into laughter. This must be what it feels like to go crazy. Major sits at the threshold of the room, watching me lose my shit.

“Let’s go,” I instruct Major as I step delicately across the trashed room. “I’m sure Luca will be pissed about this.” I glance back one last time before closing the door. I walk calmly to the bedroom, and head for the closet where all my clothes are hung. The attention to detail Luca had given when he bought a wardrobe for me was admirable, but now, I wish I had something else to wear.

But it is what it is.

This isn’t a breakup. We were never together—and his leaving proves the point that he’s never cared about how I feel about things. I don’t love Jared, but I want Luca to care about what I want to do. I want him to care about what I want. But he just cares to control me.

“Men,” I scoff, grabbing a pair of black skinny jeans and white crop top. If I’m really going to do this, I’m going to look good doing it. I dress quickly, and then reach for the bags beneath the clothes hanging in the closet. Luca had come home with all kinds of things, and sure enough, at the bottom was minimal makeup.

They were expensive brands, but I couldn't care less.

I spend the next forty-five minutes giving myself the perfect smokey eye and pulling my hair half up. When I finish, I go sifting through the rest of it. “Where’s that mask?” I hum to myself as Major once again keeps a watchful eye on me.

My fingers grasp the edge of the black mask, and I pull it out, fasten it to my face and take a look in the mirror. I look fucking psycho.

Cool.

I head back into the bedroom, and head for Luca’s drawers. He’s a hitman—he should have a gun, right? But I don’t find one. I purse my lips. Whatever. I’ll be fine. I grab a bag, shove a few changes of clothes in it, and sling it over my shoulder. I open Luca’s nightstand and grab the keys to the Tahoe in the garage.

I pause before leaving, however.

I don’t have gas money. I don’t even have a phone.

I go back to his nightstand and sift through the contents. Sure enough, in an envelope at the bottom, are thirteen one-hundred-dollar bills. I can make it with that—and add it to the list of things I owe him.

“He really shouldn’t leave it just laying around,” I tell Major as he blocks me from the door. “I need to go.”

Major whines.

“No, I’m going,” I argue with him. “I have to do this.”

Major lets me through, but he stays on my heels, whining. I shove the cash in my bag and grab a flat bill hat off the rack beside the door. I’m not ready to be seen yet, and I know the mask will draw attention at gas stations.

I grip the keys in my left hand and enter the garage. Naturally, my heart pounds in my chest and there’s a part of me screaming to go back inside and wait like a good girl.

But I’m not a good girl.

I never have been.

Jared might have cheated, but I hated him well before it. Though, I never would’ve had him killed. Which is why we have to have a talk.

I open the driver’s side door of the Tahoe, and Major barks at me. I spin around to look at him. “What?”

He barks again.

I slump my shoulders and reach down to pet him, but as I do, he bounds past me and across the console to the passenger seat.

Oh. I can’t leave him not knowing when Luca will come back.

“I think he might hate me if I take you,” I say as I hesitate.

---