Page 39 of Killing Emma

“What’s wrong with you?” He has the audacity to ask.

I glare at him. “What’s wrong with me? More like, what’s wrong with you? I don’t even know your name, and you act like you’re going to kill me, but then you just… You just—I don’t even know what you’re doing!” I’m exasperated, and I throw my hands up in defeat, before spinning around and stalking off to the bathroom. Am I acting like a teenager? Maybe.

But how the fuck else am I supposed to act? This is the weirdest situationship I’ve ever been in, and I’m tired of it. I wish he’d either man up and kill me or decide that he’s not going to and let me go.

He mutters inaudibly behind me, and I stop, spinning around. “What did you say?”

“Luca.” He enunciates the name. He hasn’t moved, and his gaze locks onto mine. “You know my name now.”

“I guess that guarantees my death then,” I choke out, swallowing the lump in my throat. I want to know him, to kiss him, especially now that I’ve seen his face. But at the same time, I’m not an idiot. I know what it means.

“Everyone is guaranteed death.” His voice once again is unwavering, while my emotions are still all over the place. I hate it. I hate him. I hate that I feel something for him. I want to claim that I’m using him—that I’m an asset by seducing him, but it’s not the entire truth. I know it.

I swallow hard, nodding my head and then spinning back around. I just want to shower, and not think about the fact that he might attack and kill me at any time. I know I said I’d get myself out of this, and that I’d make it up to the world for being so absent, but in this moment…

I don’t care. I don’t care what I left on the outside world, because I know whatever is out there doesn’t give one shit about me. My heart aches for people who aren’t out there anymore anyway. If my mother knew what I’d let him do to me…

My legs tremble as I make my way to the bathroom door, pulling it open and stepping inside. I shut it behind me, letting the darkness encapsulate me. My mind flashes to when he pinned me against the wall, but I push away the brimming excitement it brings.

He tried to kill you.

I rip his shirt over my head, the evidence of what just happened running down the inside of my leg. It serves only to anger me, and I unleash a scream laced with frustration as I hurl the T-shirt at the door. I don’t care if he hears me. I don’t care if he thinks he’s winning. Maybe he is.

Leaning over, I start the water and climb into the shower. As it rains down on my head, I turn the knob as far as it’ll go on the hot side. I want it to burn away every trace of me. As soon as I’m soaked with the scalding water, the sob I’ve been holding bursts forth from my chest. It racks my entire body, and I slide down the tiled wall to the floor.

Right where he left me.

The sound of the door creaking open above the streaming water only serves to make me cry harder. I wrap my arms around my knees. At this point, if he killed me, it would be out of mercy. Maybe that would ease his clearly troubled mind. I bury my face in the space between my chest and legs, pressing my forehead to my knees as the water batters me.

Until it suddenly doesn’t.

A gush of cold air kisses my skin, and I shiver in response. Strong hands wrap around my biceps and pull me upward. I don’t fight him, and as he lifts me up and wraps me in what feels like a towel, I let it happen.

I stand unevenly on the rug outside of the shower as he dries my body. I don’t look at him. I stare blankly into the darkness, unmoved by his caring gesture. That’s how Luca is. He’s hot and then he’s cold.

He tosses the towel to the floor somewhere, and then removes his shirt. I don’t want to smell like him again, but I don’t have the will to fight as he dresses me in it. The scent of his cologne is enough to rock my senses. I hate that it’s comforting. The smell of ecstasy… and my death.

However, there’s something about his softness that reaches inside of me and quiets the chaos. I let myself get lost in his irony… Even if I tell myself it’s only to hold onto my sanity.

Chapter Eighteen

Luca

I think I broke her, and I don’t know what the fuck I’m supposed to do about it as she lays beside me in this fucking basement. I didn’t have the will to leave her. She knows my face. She knows my name. If I let her run, someone will find her. Someone will find me.

I could let someone else kill her and wash my hands of her.

I could take her to Henry and Lydia. They’d keep her safe.

Henry would kill me though, especially after this. I’ve fucked her twice. I’ve almost killed her twice. It never even crossed my mind this time to take the light from her eyes. I was too consumed by how fucking good it felt to be with her. I’m consumed by the light in her eyes. All I could imagine as I came inside of her was what it would be like to kiss her lips and make her mine.

Forever.

Fuck.

I run my hands over my face. I have no idea what the fuck I’m supposed to do. Manny will never let this go. I sit up in the bed, my heart racing. I need air. She had her moment to fall apart, and I stayed for it. I held her until she fell asleep.

But now I need my time.

---