Page 94 of Succumbed

“You don’t care that I kissed Lex,” he says, flat and disbelieving.

“I care. I’m not mad you kissed her.” I tilt my head. “I’m a little pissed you told her it was a mistake and pushed her away like a total jackass, but I’m not mad you kissed her.”

“Fuck,” he mumbles, dropping his head onto his crossed arms on the table. “I’m fucking it all up.”

“You’re sure trying to.”

“Gee, thanks for sugarcoating it.”

“Not my strength; you know that.”

“What the fuck do I do, Shane?”

“About what, exactly?”

He groans. “You’re going to make me spell it out, aren’t you? You stubborn fuck.”

“Guilty.”

Lifting his head, he sighs heavily. “I’m…christ, I sound pathetic. I’m scared, man.”

I glance at my beer, giving him a reprieve. “You’re not pathetic, Dec. What are you afraid of? Linc thinks it’s the Anne-Marie shit, but…it’s not, is it?”

He chuckles wryly. “It certainly started that way. Now? I…I don’t want to drive a wedge between us. But watching you three all cozy feels like I’m on the outside.”

“How does that feel?”

“Like absolute shit, Dr. Phil. Thanks for asking.”

I laugh, tipping my glass toward him. “I hear you, man. You know you put yourself there, though, yeah?”

My best friend has never been the best at introspection, but he’s a smart man. A frown tugs at his mouth as I watch him grapple with himself.

“I mean…”

“Dude. You’ve done literally everything to keep Lex at arm’s length.”

Huffing, he hangs his head. “I know I have.”

“Except for kissing her. That was a step in the right direction.”

His wide eyes snap to mine. “Are you fucking kidding?”

“Nope.” I pop the ‘p,’ because I know it’ll get under his skin. “You let your walls down, maybe for the first time, around her.”

He looks off into the distance. “They were down, all right. Been a bitch to get them back up.”

“So leave them down.” I watch him frown at the pile of coaster bits on the table. “You want to tell me why you’re jealous of Linc?”

The pensive look disappears from his face. “I’m not jealous.”

“You’re a terrible liar.”

Scoffing, he crosses his arms.

“Tell me, Dec. What is it about Lex that has you in knots?”

“I’m not in knots.”

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