I could feel her gaze on me the whole time, watching each move I made, and I found myself wanting to know what was on her mind as I brought back her drink, then the food, splitting it between our plates, and finally lighting the candles.
“Sure it’s not as good as what you made, but it’s…something,” I said.
I wanted to tell her that I was trying to, I don’t know, make shit better. That I was sorry for not seeing that she needed more from me.
But, well, I wasn’t good at that shit.
My life had never allowed for sitting around and talking about feelings. I wasn’t even sure if I even knew how I felt about any given situation. It never occurred to me to think about how I felt about shit.
In my world, feelings didn’t fucking matter.
What mattered were results and respect.
That was it.
“It smells good,” she said, clearly trying as well, even if her eyes still looked far away and sad.
We both reached for our forks and knives in silence, the only sound being the scratch across the plates as we cut, and the far away shriek of a police siren.
Christ.
What the fuck was I supposed to do here? Say?
Lore sure as fuck wasn’t going to start the conversation.
“I heard Avery came to visit,” I said, watching her head whip up, eyes wide. Like she was worried, maybe? “You can have anyone you want over, mouse,” I said, shaking my head. “Her brother was here tonight and mentioned it.”
“I, uh, I had coffee with her and Cinna.”
Cinna.
That was interesting.
“Didn’t think Cinna would be someone you’d like much,” I said. The women couldn’t be more opposite.
“I like that she speaks her mind,” she said.
Maybe that made sense.
In this new world, having someone who would talk straight with her was probably an asset she decided she needed.
“That she does,” I agreed, nodding. “Everything alright with your family?”
“It sounds like it,” she said, a sad smile tugging at her lips.
She missed them.
Of course she did.
The Costas were a tight crew and an even tighter family. Lore was probably used to seeing dozens of the members most days of the week. And she was now weeks into not seeing any of them.
“She’s not going to tell them about this,” Lore said, making my gaze flick up to see her motioning to her face.
“You don’t have to keep secrets from your family.” I couldn’t imagine how torn between both worlds she felt. The family she was raised in, had blood with, and the family she chose for her future.
“I think it might be better to tell them after the bruise is gone,” Lore said. “Nico is…” she trailed off shaking her head as she reached for her drink.
“Yeah,” I agreed, thinking of her eldest brother. Who, from what I could gather from my intel, was a solid, sturdy, mature kind of guy. Not the type to get worked up over things. But this was his baby sister. If he saw a bruise on her cheek that he saw as evidence to back up his feelings about my family’s unworthiness to take care of her, I had no doubt that he would lose his fucking shit.