Page 67 of Love Him Like Water

“What?” I asked, heartbeat tripping into overdrive, a frantic pounding against my ribcage.

“Oh, come on. Listen, I love you Lore. But you really weren’t the self-sacrificing for the good of the family sort, right?” she asked. “I mean, you never dig your heels in about anything. So when you decided this, I had a feeling you might have a crush on Renzo or something.”

“I guess,” I admitted.

“It’s not just a crush anymore, though, is it?” she asked.

“No.”

“But he’s still… Renzo,” she said.

“Yes,” I agreed, feeling so seen right then that I wanted to cry.

“To understand Renzo, I think you need to know how fucked up this empire he inherited was. Like, you know how the old Costa boss was a tyrant?”

“Yeah,” I agreed, nodding. The stories of his cruelty were endless.

“Well, it was worse around here. Like, a lot worse around here. The former bosses and capos were callous and cruel. Sometimes just for shits and giggles. They got off on their power. The problem was, they didn’t have the stranglehold on the area that the Costas did on their turf. There’s a lot of crews in this area. Who got sick of the tyranny of their reign. And so what Renzo inherited was a massive turf war and lack of respect for his name.

“He had to work his ass off to get respect around here again. I mean, I don’t think I ever saw him not working.”

“It’s that way now,” I admitted.

To that, she nodded.

“And you want him here with you,” she guessed. “And he, being a guy, is too fucking thick-headed to understand that you might want him around.”

“I just want you to know,” another female voice said, coming into the apartment, “how embarrassing it was to order this fucking drink. What—oh,” Cinna broke off, gaze landing on Avery.

“Cinna,” Avery said, offering her a small smile.

“Avery dropped in to check on me,” I explained, taking the extra large latte from her, and pouring half of it into the mug Avery had pulled from the cabinet. “Thank you for this,” I said, smiling at Cinna, who’d sent me a text that she was grabbing a coffee around the corner if I wanted anything.

We didn’t text a lot, but she’d been available to me when I reached out. And I had a feeling that, over time, it really could become the friendship I said I was seeking. And one she seemed to need as well.

“I’m kind of surprised half a dozen Costa men haven’t broken down that door yet,” Cinna admitted, nodding her head toward it.

“Oh, they want to,” Avery said. “I said I would come to try to ease their anxiety.”

“What are you going to go back and tell them? That their girl is in love with a stupid fuck who doesn’t deserve her?” Cinna asked.

“He’s been good to me,” I insisted, getting a dubious look from Avery and a raised brow from Cinna.

“Keeping you in an orgasm haze doesn’t mean he’s been good to you,” Cinna objected.

“Not that we’re knocking the orgasms,” Avery said. “Because, you know, good for you,” she added with a smile.

“He found the guy who attacked me.”

“I’m not saying this to be cruel,” Cinna started. “But he would have done that to anyone who put their hands on any of the Lombardi women. It’s about the disrespect to the family, to him.”

What hurt the most about her words were the fact that I knew they were true, that she was right, that tracking him down had to do with the family, not necessarily me.

Part of me wanted to tell them about the way he was sweet with me, was soft with me.

But… they weren’t wrong about that side of him being reserved for, well, sex. For the intimacy directly during and after.

I mean, I was pretty sure the only time I’d actually talked to Renzo outside of the primary suite was during the party. And then, only for a minute or two.

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