Page 39 of Love Him Like Water

I roughly dried off, then slipped back into my clothes, feeling the bulge in my pocket, and remembering the box Cinna had slipped to me earlier.

I stepped back into my shoes, then walked over to the other side of the bed to place the box on Lore’s nightstand.

Finally, I went back down to the party, trying like fuck to drown out that voice in my head that just wanted to keep repeating it.

Mine.

CHAPTER TEN

Lore

I just stood there, leaning against the shower wall for what felt like forever, not stepping back under the spray.

Some strange, unknowable, primal part of me was sickly turned on by the idea of his release still on my skin.

I barely resisted the urge to reach down and touch it with my fingers.

It was the sound of the bedroom door slamming closed that finally had me waking up from the orgasm haze, realizing that he’d just… left me again.

I stepped forward into the spray, letting the water wash him away, then scrubbing again with the soap, wanting to rub away the slimy feeling my thoughts seemed to coat me in.

About feeling, I don’t know, used.

The only time he came to me, spoke to me, even looked at me, was when he wanted to touch me, wanted to be inside of me.

And I, so freaking desperate for his interest, for maybe even just a tiny chunk of his heart, let him do it.

Tears stung my eyes and I blinked them back as I climbed out of the shower, drying myself, and trying not to let my thoughts go dark again.

Even as I knew he was down there with his friends.

Any, anyone but me.

I walked in my towel back into the bedroom, seeing something sitting on my nightstand that I hadn’t left there. A little box.

I felt a small thrill, wondering if he maybe had bought me something, that I’d been on his mind while he was out and about in his life.

But as I walked over and picked it up, what I found only compounded those dark feelings.

He hadn’t gotten me a gift.

He’d gotten me a box of birth control pills.

“Damnit,” I snapped at myself as I felt a hot tear spill down my cheek.

Reaching up, I swiped it away as I tossed the box back down.

I would take them, I knew I would. Because, despite the disappointment, and the way little cracks kept spider webbing across my heart each time he only remembered me when he wanted to be intimate with me, it was all I could get from him.

And I was going to take it.

Because the need for him only seemed to be growing with each passing hour.

Moving into the closet, I found some pajamas to slip on, then found myself rummaging around in one of my bags, finding something I hadn’t bothered to look at since the morning of my wedding when I’d turned it to silent and ignored the tsunami of texts begging me not to go through with it.

My phone.

I knew I wouldn’t be strong enough to deal with my family’s upset when I was feeling so fragile. But I reached for it like a lifeline now, knowing that it was filled with people who didn’t want to use me, who just wanted to love me.

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