Page 76 of When Sky Breaks

CHAPTER THIRTY-ONE

sky

Nerves shot to hell, my hands tremble as I open the door to the restaurant. Convincing Johnny to meet me here in town instead of at a fancy restaurant took some cajoling, but eventually, he agreed.

He’s already at a table facing the big outside window, glancing over the menu with a slight grimace on his sharp features. Although he’s classically handsome in that never-a-hair-out-of-place sort of way, I’d pass over him in a crowd.

Imperfections ground us, yet I’d bet anything Johnny would see them as something that needs fixing instead of admired for their realness. Thank god he’s never noticed the scar on my palm, or else he’d probably recommend me to a plastic surgeon buddy of his. My scar, although a painful reminder, is also a source of strength, a badge of honor, the fact I’m still alive.

“Hey,” I say as I remove my jacket and place it on the back of the chair over my purse I let hang off it.

He stands as I sit and then slides back into his chair, clearing his throat. “Hey.”

I’m facing away from the window, so the only thing I get to look at is Johnny and the shadows in his dark eyes as he studies me.

“How’s the hospital?” I start off with, after giving the server my choice of drink. Small talk with Johnny is awkward, as I’m afraid to say the wrong thing. With August, I never need to guard my words.

He shrugs and turns the page on the menu. I already know what I want, and I’m positive it’s going to be nowhere near what he’d choose for me. The Rusted Tavern’s BBQ pork is cooked fresh every day and is so tender it melts right off the bones it was prepared with.

“Fine. I finished up some meetings and will head north soon. I can do a lot of work online with the staff here, but my other patients at Mercy need me.”

I nod and fidget with my napkin, rolling the thin paper between my fingertips. “Makes sense. I didn’t think you’d stick around for as long as you did.”

The server arrives with our drinks, and I quickly sip on the ice-cold water, hoping it settles the brick in my belly.

She takes our order, and the frown on Johnny’s face at mine is annoying as hell. Screw his steamed veggies and chicken breast over brown rice. It’s the middle of October, and I need comfort food when it’s cold outside.

As I place my hands in my lap to keep from shredding the napkin into tiny pieces, the back of my neck prickles. I glance over my shoulder out the front window, but the sun has set, and it’s too dark to see anything. Must be my anxiety over this impending conversation.

Last night, as I curled up in bed, clutching my blankets, what I needed to do struck out in stark clarity.

It was time to let Johnny go.

He’s merely been a placeholder the last few months, nothing more than a distraction to my problems. It’s not fair to lead him on, especially when I feel nothing toward him anymore. If I ever did.

It was fun in the beginning, but the more time I spent with him in my comfortable surroundings, it became clear how much he didn’t fit in my life.

The lavish parties and spontaneous vacations were exhilarating, a chance to shed my former skin. Until I realized I love the person I am. The quiet, book-obsessed woman who loves to help others and eat carbs, snuggling under the covers until it’s way past acceptable time to get out of bed, and most definitely wouldn’t consider swimming with sharks cathartic. I prefer all my limbs, thank you very much. A simple life with simple people who crave comfort just as much as me.

I didn’t have that. Except with one person. And not the one sitting across from me.

Finally, Johnny inches forward in his chair and seems to relax. He opens his hands wide as he props his elbows on top of the worn wooden table. “Look, babe, I’m just going to spit it out. I’ve tried to be as patient of a boyfriend as I can be for you, but something has to give. I’m going home soon, and I need to know if that’s even a good idea with your ex clearly trying to get you back.”

Goosebumps erupt on my arms as I slide my hands to grip the corners of the table. Eyes on his, I make sure he’s focused before I speak. Not even his handsome features can hide the complete incongruence of all this. “Let me be clear here. You’re not my boyfriend. You keep saying that, but we never actually sat down and discussed our status. As far as I was concerned, it was casual.”

Johnny pinches his fingers around the silverware he hasn’t unwrapped before releasing it. “So what, this was just some game or whatever to get back at your ex?”

I shake my head. “I had no idea he would be here. I came home for my dad. You’re the one who showed up and inserted yourself into my family business without talking to me first.”

He tenses his jaw. “I did it for you.”

“I never asked you to. I know the doctors here take excellent care of him, and he has me.” Heat rises in my chest. “I’m not some nurse who doesn’t know her shit, Johnny. Pediatrics or not, I have it handled.”

He looks past me, his eyes glazing over with frustration. “So now what? I just go home, and that’s it?”

My head jerks a nod. “Yes. I don’t think we’re compatible for each other.”

He snorts. “And your ex is? Come on, Sky, he’s just some lowlife who didn’t realize what he had in front of him.”

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