Page 42 of When Sky Breaks

The hot teeth of remorse bites into my flesh. All her pain is my fucking fault.

“If it wasn’t for Phoebe, I wouldn’t have made it through college.” Her demeanor turns brittle and I flinch as her fist thumps off the brick wall at her back. “Then that sadness turned to anger, and I used it to my advantage, busting my ass at work to be the best damn nurse for those kids at the hospital. It still wasn’t enough, though. There was this longing I couldn’t escape, and no one could fill it.”

My chest cleaves apart at her admissions as I dive into my own, my voice cracking. “I didn’t want to hurt anyone. Just scare him—your dad. I wanted him to stop hurting you. I felt helpless every time I saw you with new bruises, new shadows under your eyes. You were being abused, and I wanted you safe. Both of you. I always wanted you safe.”

The silence is oppressive as we both break down in the middle of a public alley. I’m vibrating with heavy guilt. It’s eaten me alive for thirteen long goddamn years.

I never meant to kill Chase. He was Sky’s brightest light. I never saw him much, but she would talk about him, and I could see the love for him on her face. To be the one who snuffed it out? Even the darkest nights don’t swallow me as sharply as that moment does.

“Chase and I were kids, August, just kids.” Her voice barely registers above a whisper.

Unable to take it any longer, I explode with all the years of desperation. “Don’t you think I know that? I—you weren’t supposed to be home! You and Chase were supposed to be gone.”

With tears burning up my sinuses, I straighten from the brick wall and tighten my fists at my sides, my voice snaring in my throat. “I overheard your dad through that fucking busted front window of your house. It was only supposed to scare him into being a better dad. We fucked up.” I thump my chest, my lungs leaden with shame. “I fucked up. I’m so sorry. I know nothing will convince you, but I am sorry.” Tears fall into the corners of my mouth, and I lick away the salt. “If I could trade places with Chase, I would. I’d wipe that sad look off your face in a heartbeat.”

There’s a brittleness about her expression like she’s been beaten down to the pavement at her feet.

I fucking hate it. Hate how we’re facing off like enemies, our weapons the bitter truth of our ugly pasts.

“I don’t know if anything’s possible anymore. I really don’t. It might be too much for us to come back from. I know you’re sorry, but”—she closes her eyes and thuds her head off the brick wall before opening them to show me all her sorrow—“sorry doesn’t change what happened.”

A blazing reality illuminates what I desperately refused to acknowledge: this might be the end of Sky and me. Right here in a dim and dirty alley.

I swallow to wet my scratchy throat.

“Sky?” A deep voice rumbles from the entrance of the alley. Both our heads swivel.

A man stalks across the pavement, sets down two to-go coffee cups, and pulls Sky to him by the arm, staring daggers at me.

My spine stiffens, and my pulse skitters in my neck.

Who the fuck is this?

“What’s going on? Is this guy bothering you?”

She detaches from his grip and straightens her shirt before shaking her head. “No, no, he’s not. This. He’s. August is an old—friend,” she stammers while the guy flexes his jaw.

He’s not as tall as me, but he’s older and carries a glint in his dark eyes, appearing more threatening despite the crisp dress shirt he’s wearing and dark blue tailored slacks. The hand held possessively around Sky’s waist makes my jaw clench tight enough to crack teeth.

The chilly air turns my lungs into blocks of ice. She has moved on.

Raking his gaze over me, he must have decided something because he relaxes his posture and holds out a hand. “Dr. Johnny Hawk.”

He had to throw that in there, didn’t he? From his angle, I’m betting he reduced me to nothing but a grifter in my ripped jeans and faded black Henley.

As tempting as it is to list all my own personal accolades, I take the high road for Sky’s sake. Not that it matters anymore. I’ve already lost her.

“August Moore.”

Brushing me off, he peeks down at Sky, who’s still staring wide-eyed in my direction, stiff as a board in this other man’s arms. “I planned on stopping by your house on the way to the hospital. Being the nice boyfriend I am, I grabbed you a coffee.” He lifts a brow in my direction. “Are you done here? I can walk you to your car.”

My spine shoots ramrod straight as Sky nods and takes his outstretched hand.

“Yeah, I’m ready to go now. Thank you.” She wipes under her nose with her sleeve, giving me one last painful glance before leaving with this Johnny.

Watching her walk away, tucked in close to another man, strikes a sharp iron across my chest. I can’t witness her fall for someone else.

But it’s the cost of time and tragedy. It’s wide, all-encompassing. There’s another guy in the picture, one who might be better for her. Who can offer her things I never can.

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