“Em, I don’t—” his mind was running a thousand different directions all at once. Should he give her hope? Or would it be better for her to help her process the possibility that her daughter was out in the world and would never be found?
“I know, Seb, I don’t want to think of it either. But if he did, if he sold my daughter, how are we ever going to find her? I don’t even know her name. How would Gage even look for her?”
Fuck, it was becoming more and more difficult to keep his emotions in check, and the hope that sat behind the fear in her eyes made him want to burn the world down for her.
“We could start with her birthday, and the name of the hospital where she was born. That should be enough to get him going.”
She looked out over the pond, frozen for a moment as she seemed to think over the possibility of looking for her child.
“I d-don’t want any of the guys to know. They already look at me with pity. I don’t think I could stand them looking at me with more if they knew about Luna.”
“Luna.” He thought back to earlier that night, when he’d found her in the office, looking out the window at the moon. She hadn’t been saying goodnight to it like he thought. She’d been saying goodnight to her daughter. “That’s a beautiful name.” He swept a tear off her cheek before threading his fingers through hers. “Why did you choose it?”
“It’s silly, really. When I was a little girl, before my mom was sick, she would bring me outside each night before bedtime to say goodnight to the moon. When I was pregnant, I did the same. I made sure I got to go outside each night, and I would say good night to the moon with her. I’d take a few minutes to tell her a story about my mom when we’d get back inside. Now, I look at the moon and I feel connected to the both of them.”
“That’s what you were doing tonight. You were talking to her when I walked in to the office.”
“Yes.”
He thought for a moment. “Has it been hard to be around Daisy?”
She sighed. “It was harder with Grace. I didn’t know her, but there she was inserted into my friend group so close to having her baby. With Daisy, it’s just…I’m so happy for her and Hank, and I already love that baby so much. But her pregnancy reminds me of what was taken from me. What I’ll never have. What I’ll never be able to give someone one day.”
“Why wouldn’t you ever be able to have another baby? I know that it will never change what happened, but surely if you wanted to have kids in the future, you could.”
“I told you, he took everything from me. He told me I’d hemorrhaged during the birth. That I had a retained placenta and the only way to save my life was to give me a partial hysterectomy. But I don’t believe that for a second. He wanted to destroy me in every way while leaving me alive to experience all the pain. I’m sure Marco signed off on the additional surgery.”
“I am so sorry, sweetheart. I can’t even say how sorry I am. But I can promise you, when I find him, he’s going to pay for what he’s done. And I’ll never let him hurt you again. Never again, Emma.”
“I’m empty inside, Seb. At the vineyard, you told me you wanted the world to be better for your future children. I can never give you that.”
“It doesn’t mat?—”
“It does. I understand how much it does matter. I just want you to know that I understand if you want to stop whatever was happening between us before you knew. That second date never needs to happen.”
“Fuck yes, it does.” She bit her bottom lip and looked up at him with wide eyes, and fuck if he didn’t want to kiss her right then and there, using his own teeth to rake over the plump flesh on her lips. “Nothing about what you just told me changes my attraction to you. No, wait. It does.”
She pushed away from his chest and he immediately tightened his grip around her and pulled her back to where she belonged. “Everything you just told me makes me realize how truly amazing you are, Sprinkles. So strong. So resilient. So fucking incredible. I’m really trying to be a gentleman here, but there is some caveman thing going on inside my mind that is telling me I need to claim you right here so you know just how completely you’ve taken over my heart, and so that you know you’ll never have to face anything on your own again.”
“That’s everything. I swear, Seb,” she said as a tear tracked down her cheek. “That’s every secret from the darkest depths of my soul. You’re the only other person in the world that knows.”
“Thank you for telling me.” He wrapped his arms around her even tighter than before and kissed the top of her head. “Are you ready to go back inside? It’s getting late and I can feel you shivering.”
“Can we just wait a few more minutes? I know it’s chilly, but I feel warm in your arms.”
“We can sit out here all night if you want. Whatever you need. I’ll be here.”
Her hand reached up and cupped the side of his face. “Would you think less of me if I said I really needed to kiss you right now?”
“Not unless you thought less of me when I tell you all I’ve wanted to do since I saw you crying out here alone was pick you up and pepper you with kisses so I could take away all that heartache.”
“Kiss me, Sebastian. Make me feel better. Make me feel the same hope you have inside you that this is all going to work out, and everything will eventually be okay.”
He didn’t need to be told twice. Dipping his head towards hers, he captured her mouth with his. The salty taste of her tears exploded on his tongue. He would do anything to take away her pain. Anything. This woman had completely bewitched him, and he wanted every minute of the rest of forever with her.
She deepened the kiss, and her body shifted. He felt the pressure of her legs wrapping around him as she climbed into his lap. When the kiss ended and he opened his eyes, Seb was painfully hard beneath her. He watched Emma sit back, raising her arms to the buttons on her pajamas and fuck, he lost his mind. The moon was illuminating her, giving her that same ethereal glow he saw as she looked out the window in his office.
“Emma,” he heard the painful restraint in his own voice as he reached up to stop her hands from undoing the next button on her shirt. “I’m trying to be a gentleman, but that whole caveman thing is really crushing my chest right now. Are you sure?”