Page 30 of Courageous Demands

To his utter shock, she stopped and put her face in her hands.

“Willow?” he breathed, unsure of what was happening. He had barely walked in the front door, in fact it was still open, and he was standing there in the entryway, clutching the drooping flowers… and she was crying?

Alec could hear the tearful, heartbreaking sobs, and everything screeched to a halt in his brain. He dropped the flowers on the floor, moved to her side, and pulled her to him. His hands were trembling, she was crying against his chest, and everything within his soul was urging him to comfort her.

She never cried, not like this. She might get weepy, glassy-eyed, or get close, but this was broken, ugly, bone-jarring, heartbreaking tears. For the second time in forever, he was scared.

“If you get snot on me… I’m out,” he whispered, smoothing her hair, desperately needing to make her laugh – and she did. She let out a tearful laugh, followed by a hiccup, but didn’t move. “I thought they were pretty, but they did wilt on the way over. If weeds don’t work than, I guess I can quit being a cheapskate and actually spring for something nice… eventually.”

“I’ve never gotten flowers before,” she whispered against his chest, burying her face as if she was ashamed. He hesitated, her words hitting him hard.

“What do you mean? You’ve gotten flowers before…” and Alec’s voice trailed off as he froze, searching his mind for that moment, before realizing that it wasn’t there. He had never given her flowers when they were dating, but nobody else had either?

“Wait a second…” he began, confused. “What about when you were in college? All of your other boyfriends didn’t get you flowers either?”

And Willow pushed away from him, keeping her face hidden as she yanked a paper towel from the holder. Turning on the water, she wet the towel and started to wipe her face as he circled around her, trying to look her in the face to get a glimpse of what she was thinking, and she kept turning away from him.

“I’m sorry,” she whispered. “I’m being stupid about things and…”

“Willow, what’s going on?”

“Nothing,” she replied brightly, plastering a fake smile on her face as she finally looked at him. “Nothing is going on. I had a small breakdown, okay? People have them when they are stressed, nervous, or…”

Her voice faded and he didn’t hear anything else as the truth hit him like a ton of bricks – she never dated anyone else. He was her first kiss, her first love, and she had stayed faithful to him over the years, and he was a horrible boyfriend!

Alec never brought her flowers, never gave her gifts, heck – he never went to any of the high school dances or even his prom because it didn’t mean anything to him, but it did to her.

“I think I’m gonna be sick,” he whispered, leaning against the counter opposite of her as they stared at each other. Willow had never dated anyone else like he’d accused her of doing – and he had. He had asked other women out to wipe her memory from his mind. He had slept with other women trying to wash away the fantasies and dreams that he knew would never come, and he felt beyond filthy and ashamed of himself right now.

He was a complete loser, and she was an angel.

“Oh gosh… I’m really going to be sick,” he whispered hoarsely and met her eyes, flinching at the awareness in them as her ‘mask’ cracked.

“I never dated anyone else, Alec,” she said brokenly, her voice trembling with emotion as her fake smile faded with awareness. Her eyes met his, and he saw the hurt in them as he stood before her silently. “… But you did, didn’t you? The Flirt’s Battalion has quite a reputation in town, and I’m sure it never dawned on you that I might come back home, right?”

“We were over,” he said limply. “Remember?”

“Yes.”

“You never dated anyone else?”

“No – but you did?”

“Yes,” he breathed, condemning himself and refusing to lie to her. “I was hurting and wanted…” his voice trailed off as it hit him hard. “I wanted to wipe away the memory of you. I thought you dumped me because I wasn’t good enough and that you wanted to move on. I was hurting and lonely, so yeah – I dated.”

“I wanted you to be proud of me,” she began in a hushed voice, thick with tears. “I never meant to hurt you, to truly end what we had, but I needed time – and no,” she paused as a painful sob escaped her. “No, I never expected you to be faithful to me because we were over. We ended our relationship badly. Neither of us are saints…”

“But I’m a moron,” he blurted out – and unbelievably, she stepped closer to him, wrapping her arms around his middle… hugging him. How could she be so kind, so loving, and so sweet? When he thought of her dating someone else, he raged internally, stewing at the thought of someone else holding her close. His arms closed around her as he put his cheek against her hair. “I’m so sorry for everything… including being the biggest moron in town.”

“The world,” she whispered in the silence. “You are the biggest moron in the world, Alec…” – and he laughed tearfully, not moving. It had been so long since, and his emotional well inside of him was craving this.

“Yup, that’s me.”

They stood there, the flowers on the floor, holding each other, both afraid to move or say something to shatter this unexpected peace between them. Neither was lobbing angry statements, throwing hateful glares, or lashing out. It was like both were waving a white flag of surrender because they were simply tired of fighting.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered again against her hair. “I’ll do better this time.”

“I’m just happy to have a ‘this time,’” she replied, squeezing him gently.

---