Page 25 of Courageous Demands

“Another?”

“I think I’ll have water.”

“Of course,” she said simply, moving to go make him a tall glass of iced water and then prepare their plates. She quickly set the glass down on the table where one of the placemats was, realizing he wasn’t so quick to move toward the seating. Taking a seat meant they were having dinner together. Dinner meant conversation. Conversation meant discussing their past, and he obviously wasn’t keen on that either.

She quickly served up a large piece of lasagna for him, put the dinner rolls in a small bread basket, and then took both to the table. Without a word, she moved to get her plate and the butter dish, bringing both to the opposite place setting, before looking at him.

“Do you want to sit down?”

“Do I have a choice?”

Willow tried to bury the hurt that his words brought, realizing that he was still wounded and lashing out. She deserved every bit of it, too. That night long ago, when they had been kissing under the stars, she had brought up her scholarship and had been proud of it. Alec had brushed it off, talking about how they could get a place together once they’d gotten married, and every alarm went off in her mind. She felt hurt and overlooked, and in that moment, she felt like he didn’t care about her. He was so focused on them being together, talking about marriage and a family someday. It wasn’t true – he cared a lot, and she found that out a little too late.

Alec had cried when she broke up with him. He’d begged her not to do it, to give him another chance, and she’d said no. She had withdrawn, pulling her hand from his, drew up the strength to stand fast on her decision to go to college, and didn’t break down until later. He’d completely lost it when he wasn’t reaching her or getting the response he wanted. It had been childish – but then again – at eighteen, they were still children or seemed like it.

Oh, the things they had yelled at each other, amidst the tears, frustration, and intense feelings. The person who once said ‘love and hate were different sides of the same coin’ was a genius, because it was so true. She had seen that love flip to hate before her very eyes.

“You always have a choice,” she whispered, staring at her plate. “I would never take your choices, your wants, your dreams from you…”

“But you did, remember?”

She looked at him, saw his angry eyes and didn’t shy away when she finally replied. He wasn’t going to like it, but it was the truth. It had taken her a long time of inner reflection to put her thoughts and feelings into words, but the moment she had – she was able to finally heal and wanted that for him.

“I care for you and always have,” she began and didn’t hesitate when he opened his mouth to speak, continuing quickly. “I always wanted you to have a choice, but I reacted badly. I felt threatened that my own choice, my moment of pride, was being brushed off like it was nothing. You were the beloved jock, the ‘cute guy’ in high school, and had everything,” she said passionately, feeling her own frustration bubble.

“Alec, I had nothing but what was between my ears – and I had finally earned something to be proud of, yet it didn’t matter to the one person I wanted to be proud of me. I wanted to make you proud of me, to show you that I had value, and it fell apart because I stood up for my choices for the first time ever,” she said hoarsely, hating those tears stinging her eyes as she stared at him. To her shock, he closed his mouth and stood there, looking at her. The clock in the distance seemed to tick loudly, and she had never noticed it before, but it was there now, almost like a gong in her head.

“Did you use plenty of cheese,” Alec grumbled, taking a step toward the opposite side of the table without looking at her.

“Oh yes,” she replied, trembling and making small talk with him as he took a seat. “Ricotta, mozzarella, cottage cheese, and mascarpone. I made sure to use an egg to bind it, too, so it doesn’t just fall apart. I asked your mother how she made hers stick together and…”

“You called my mother?” he asked, looking shocked.

“I went by her donut shop. I don’t exactly have her phone number. She changed the house phone after we… um, well, after I left for college.”

“How do you know that?”

“I tried to call. Do you want another beer or some parmesan cheese?”

“I didn’t know you tried to call me.”

“We weren’t exactly talking or on good terms.”

“That’s true.”

“Yeah, things tend to fall apart when you toss words you never meant to say in the heat of battle. When I am presiding over a hearing, I have to remove all emotions and stick with facts – and sometimes, it’s very hard. I see people crying and upset and I know that I’m about to change their lives, but I have to look at things clinically and make the best decision possible with the facts before me.”

“You were always good at shutting off your emotions,” he said bluntly before taking a bite and then spoke again with his mouth full. “I’m sorry. That was rude… and this is really good.”

“No apology needed,” she mumbled, taking a bite of her own meal and trying not to take it as harshly as he’d meant it. “I think each field it takes a special type of person to do what they do on a daily basis. I could not make it as a police officer or a doctor. I really think that what you guys do at the fire station is a miracle… and sometimes I don’t know how you do it.”

“Do what,” he said simply, taking another bite and glancing at her before looking away. “Fighting fires is learning what works best and…”

“No,” she interrupted, lifting her beer to take a sip. “I don’t know how you aren’t terrified to run into a burning building, knowing you could die. I wish I had thought to buy some wine or something else. Beer and lasagna isn’t exactly fancy.”

“It’s real, though – and I like it.”

Willow met Alec’s eyes and hesitated.

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