Page 70 of Knot Her Reality

He laughs again. “And you shouldn’t. There is nothing wrong with being a sexual person. You’re an omega, your hormones practically require you to be. I’m sure that all involved had a good time. Now, moving onto your day-five suitors, Sterling in particular.”

“He’s not really an issue anymore, is he?” I shake my head. “I know I set up activities that not everyone would enjoy, but the least he could’ve done was try it. That’s all I was looking for on these dates. I knew that some people would be pushed a little outside of their comfort zone, but these are the things I love to do. I want someone who will want to do them with me. Maybe not everything, but at least some of them. And everyone else at least tried. I don’t think that was too much to ask of them.”

“You’re not wrong. You have expectations for your future pack, and Sterling didn’t meet those expectations. I’m proud of you for sticking to your guns and sending him home.” He pauses. “Though I would’ve been proud if you’d been willing to give him a second chance, so maybe I should just say I’m just proud of you.”

We laugh together before he stands up and moves to sit on the chair close to mine. It’s facing his desk as well, and he doesn’t turn it. It’s what he always does when he’s going to ask me something that will make me uncomfortable.

“Bree has been keeping you up-to-date on the protests.” He doesn’t phrase it as a question but a statement, so he obviously knows she has been. “I know we’ve talked about this a few times before, and I will continue to bring it up. I heard what you said at the rose ceremony. With all of that being said, how are you really doing with all of it?”

“I mean, it sucks. I don’t understand how people have so much hate in their hearts that they would protest a reality dating show. And yes, I know it’s not really the show they’re protesting—it’s me. They’re protesting me and what I stand for. It hurts. Of course, it hurts. Every single time I hear their hateful words, I’m thrown back to when my parents kicked me out. I fucking hate it, but it’s not going to stop me. I’m not going to let it hold me back. If I didn’t bow down to my parents’ wishes, then how the hell do they think I’m going to give up because of what strangers think. They should’ve done their damn homework.”

Finnegan hums again. “It’s not just you that they’re protesting, Evie, and you know that. They’re protesting every single one of your female suitors as well. I know Bree doesn’t show you everything, and I don’t think she should, but they’re focusing on Cora now since she’s a lesbian. They believe she’s a traitor because she has no interest in men, and therefore, according to them, she won’t bother to attempt to procreate.”

“That’s bullshit. Just because she’s not interested in men doesn’t mean she doesn’t want to have kids. Not that I know if she does, nor should it matter. It’s her body to do with as she wants. I’m so sick and tired of these people acting like we’re nothing but a uterus. It’s our decision if we want to try to have kids—even if we’re able to.”

I’m so angry that I’m panting as I attempt to rein in my rage. This entire process has shown me how much our world hasn’t grown. I believed we were past this. I thought we were better than this. We should be better than this.

Finn holds up his hands in surrender. “I’m with you on that, Evangeline. I don’t disagree. I just want to make sure that you have all the facts. As much as we’d like all of it to disappear, it’s not going to. I don’t even think it’s going to end when the show is over. This is something that has the power to change our entire world, and you’re at the epicenter.”

“That’s too much pressure,” I admit, some of the rage slipping away. “Unfortunately, I know that’s not going to change anything. I don’t really get a choice in this, do I?”

“No, sadly you don’t. We don’t get to choose what ignites the fires of change, and this time, it was you who our opponents chose as their target.” Finn’s smile is soft and a bit apologetic. “But you can handle it and know you’re not alone. There are other women on the show who they’re beginning to target who will be at your side. But it’s even bigger than that. You might not be able to hear their voices now, but there is a whole slew of people who are out there fighting this battle for you—that have your back.”

Something settles in me at that. I never asked to be the poster child for bisexual women, but it’s the target that was painted on me. There isn’t much I can do about it while on the show—I’m being protected from most of it by being here—but the day will come when I’ll have to pick up that mantle that’s been thrust upon me. At least I have another six weeks before that becomes an issue.

“Can we talk about something else? Anything else?” I ask, lifting my hand to my head. There’s a dull throbbing there I know will become a migraine if I don’t get it under control.

“No, I think we’ve talked enough for today. Your head is clearly hurting you. Why don’t you head to your room and rest? If you need anything, just let me know.” He grins. “Just don’t think this will get you out of your required weekly meeting.”

Rolling my eyes, I push to my feet. “As if you’d let me wiggle out of it—I know better. Thank you for helping me talk through shit, though. I know I complain, but it really does help.”

“It’s my pleasure.”

With a wave and a quick smile, I head for the door. The pain in my head is already getting worse, and I fear it might already be too late to prevent the migraine. Wincing against the lights in the basement, I don’t realize I’m not alone until I run into someone and bounce off their chest. If it wasn’t for their quick reflexes, I’d be on the floor right now.

“Whoa there. Are you okay, Evangeline?” Looking up, I find a concerned Koda staring down at me as he keeps me upright.

“Migraine,” I murmur, lifting my hand to cover my eyes. I usually have more warning before one hits, but I guess the stress from talking to Finnegan was just too much.

“Shit. Okay. Put your arms around my neck and close your eyes, okay?” His voice is soft as he speaks, and I don’t think I’ve ever been more grateful in my life for not having to tell someone to be quiet while a migraine is waging war on my body.

I’m a little confused by his words, but do as I’m told. He lifts me into his arms, and I bury my head in his chest as it rumbles. The corner of my lips turn up as I realize he’s purring for me. It doesn’t stop my head from hurting, but it does make me melt in his arms. He continues to purr as he climbs the stairs to the kitchen.

“Millie.” Koda’s chest rumbles beneath my chest with his words that have cut off his purr. “Can you have someone bring an ice pack and a heating pad to Evangeline’s suite please?”

“Oh, the poor dear. Is she okay?”

“Just a migraine,” I manage to croak out, but it takes all the energy I seem to have.

“I’ll take care of it, Evangeline. Koda, take her straight to her nest. That’s where she’ll need to be.”

Yes, my nest. That sounds perfect.

Koda doesn’t answer, his purr picking back up as he walks toward my suite. At least, I think that’s where he’s taking me. Even with my eyes closed, I can almost see the sunlight shining in the entrance as he crosses it. When he gently takes my hand, lifting it, I know we’ve reached my suite. Unfortunately, I know I left the curtains pulled back, so my suite won’t be any darker.

“Where is your nest, Evangeline?” he asks, his steps slowing but not stopping.

“Closet.”

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