Page 68 of Knot Her Reality

“The only one I’ve seen have a problem with being possessive is Paisley herself, and she’s been doing so much better about that.” I shake my head. “I’m sorry, Tessa. You didn’t deserve that. Ana can’t act like that. If she thinks I’m going to send you home because she’s not comfortable having another female alpha around Paisley, she’s in for a shock.”

Tessa’s smile is soft. “Don’t worry about it, Evangeline. It’s not on you. Sometimes, we have problems dealing with our designations, and being a female alpha is hard. Hopefully, it was just a fluke, and she’ll be okay once she’s had time to calm down.”

“I was really hoping there would be less drama with just us women,” Skylar says slowly, shaking her head. “I guess I was hoping for entirely too much.”

I snicker because if there was going to be drama with anyone, it would be the women. “Why don’t we forget about what just happened and just enjoy ourselves?”

“Actually,” Tessa starts, wrinkling her nose. “I was hoping I could talk to you about last season? I’m fine having all of you here, I’m sure there are plenty of questions to go around, and I’d rather only do this once.”

“Of course. I’d love to hear anything you have to tell me. As for the rest of you, you don’t have to stay if you don’t want to.” Glancing at each of them, I can see that Skylar isn’t comfortable with being here. I don’t know if it’s because of the drama with Ana or if she doesn’t want to hear what Tessa has to say, but it’s clear she no longer wants to be inside this hot tub with us. “Skylar, you don’t have to stay. No one is going to think less of you if you leave.”

She makes a face as she glances around. “Honestly? I get anxious around confrontation. I really just need some time alone to get my head on straight. I promise this has nothing to do with you, Tessa, or whatever it is you’re about to say. This is an issue I’ve dealt with most of my life, and I know if I ignore it, it won’t end well for me.”

“Of course, Skylar. Take care of yourself. Do you want one of us to help you to your room?” Tessa asks, already moving to stand up, but Skylar waves her off.

“No. No. I’ll be fine getting up to my room. Cora, stay and enjoy your time, okay?” Skylar gives her a soft smile before turning to me. “I’m sorry, Evangeline. I know we’re meant to be getting to know one another—“

“Don’t apologize,” I tell her, cutting her off. “You need to do what you need to do to take care of yourself. If you’re feeling up to it later, you can always come back down, okay?”

She nods. “Thanks everyone. Hopefully, I’ll see you later.”

We all watch as she climbs out and heads for the house. I can see the guys glancing between the house and us, clearly wanting to know what’s going on, but none of them make a move toward the hot tub. But I realize that Nash and Malachi are nowhere to be seen. They must have gone to their suite with Ana and Paisley.

Looks like our first get to know one another Sunday is off to a great start.

Shaking my head, I focus on Tessa. “The floor is yours.”

Tessa takes a deep breath. “I don’t know how much of this they showed on air, but it’s my fault that Sophia felt the need to choose her pack so suddenly. The studio execs were riding our asses hard last year—mine more than Bree’s since they think they’re above dealing with her. They’re all a bunch of idiots who think that an omega’s only real job is keeping house and having babies.

“So I try to keep them away from Bree because she doesn’t need to deal with that. After the discovery that Sophia and Chase were an omega pair, all eyes were on us. Half of the execs didn’t believe it, and the other half wanted to cash in on it. I was doing everything I could to keep them away from the compound and out of Sophia’s business. Then they started saying we needed to create more drama between the omegas and the suitors. They didn’t want the show to be fully unscripted. They thought we’d lose viewers because there wasn’t enough drama.

“Which is ridiculous considering the amount of drama that had already happened on the show. When one of them showed up at the compound, requesting a tour, what could I do but give him what he wanted? Then he started talking about how Sophia needed to reject the rest of Pack Lewitt or that Chase needed to tell Sophia he didn’t want to share them with her. He kept talking about how many viewers that we’d get from that. I was just trying to get him the hell out of there, so I agreed to see what I could do.

“Unfortunately, Sophia overheard the conversation and was having none of it. I’d like to say I wouldn’t have tried to do that to them, but fuck knows at that point. Bree and I had already forced Sophia into doing a public rose ceremony and to send someone home. All because of the pressure the execs were putting on us. They were threatening to take away our budget or to cancel the show. Which, if I’d been in my right mind, I would’ve known was bullshit. We’re their top-rated primetime show.”

Tessa lifts her head, her eyes meeting mine, and I can see the pain there—the guilt.

“I don’t think I would’ve let them push us so hard if I hadn’t been dealing with my own shit. The only person who knew was Bree because I didn’t want anyone else to know. I was embarrassed or something. I don’t know. It was ridiculous, either way.” She shakes her head, looking away. “I had ovarian cancer and was undergoing treatment for the first part of the season but refused to allow it to keep me from working. It was hard, but it’s what I wanted.

“Once treatment was over, I was in remission—which is great—but they told me I was infertile just before the ceremony where we forced Sophia to make certain decisions when she didn’t want to. My doctor and I went to extremes to make sure I kept my ovaries in hopes that I’d be able to have children one day. After all, with infertility running rampant in our society, no one wants to lose another babymaker, right?” She scoffs. “I didn’t even care that the doctor was more worried about that than I was because I did want to have kids one day. I knew the chances were slim, that it would be hard. But I at least wanted the chance, you know? It tore me up knowing that it wasn’t even an option anymore.

“I was distracted and grieving something that might never have happened regardless. I let them push me around and did things I’m not proud of. I would change it if I could, but I can’t. I’ve explained all of this to Sophia and her pack, and I’m hopeful that one day they’ll forgive me. It’s not an excuse for what I did, I take full responsibility for those choices, but part of that is getting the story out there. Bree tried to protect me the best she could from any backlash, but I need to own up to what I did. And I wouldn’t feel right going into a relationship without that person, or people, knowing what I’d done.”

Tears fill my eyes as I watch this beautiful alpha fighting back her own. I can’t even imagine going through what she did. The pain she must have felt—not just from what she lost but from the treatment she went through. Of course, her facilities weren’t all there. Of course, she made mistakes. After all, she’s only human—just like the rest of us.

“Oh, Tessa.” Cora reaches out and pulls the other woman into a hug. “You poor thing. You really went through it last year, didn’t you? I’m sure the pack will forgive you once they’re further from it. I’d never hold you responsible for something like that, considering what you were going through.”

“Agreed,” I tell her as I move across the hot tub to wrap my arms around both of them. “And though you didn’t owe anyone an explanation, thank you for telling us.”

It doesn’t take long for Natalie and Lillian to join our group hug as we each cry and assure Tessa that no one will hold that against her—at least none of us. I don’t know how long we stay like that, but when we pull apart, I’m ready to get out of the hot tub.

“Next time we have a group therapy session, we definitely shouldn’t do it in the hot tub. I’m dying,” I announce, pulling myself out and heading for the pool.

Without waiting to hear any responses or seeing if anyone is going to join me, I dive into the pool. I touch the bottom before pushing to the surface and pushing my hair out of my face. The other three women are standing alongside the pool and jump in as soon as they know where I am.

I wanted to get to know the suitors and for them to get to know one another, I guess that’s been at least partially achieved with Tessa’s confession. Now to spend time with the men—you won’t hear any complaints from me.

Chapter Twenty

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