Page 50 of How Much For A Broken Heart?

Was this something to do with James? I wanted to stay, to be the rock he could lean on, to be the one who tried to understand his pain, but if this was personal, if this was more than he could bear, then maybe he should do it alone.

“I’ve seen photos of James’s body before,” he said, his tone dead.

“This isn’t that. It’s Annie.”

Silence. Luca backed out, and August tensed. I wanted to reach for him, but in the end, I didn’t have to decide if it was a good thing or not because he gripped my hand and held tight.

“What about Annie? What did Amos do?”

“Evidence suggests Clara was related to Amos, third cousin, and he pulled her in as a care giver for Annie, and there are photos.”

“Please, no,” August pleaded. “Did he hurt her? I don’t want to see…” The possibilities of what Amos might have done to Annie was too awful to comprehend. How could any person bear this much pain? How could a child?—

“Shit, no, I didn’t mean… fuck…” Ethan threw up some images, but they were of Amos and Annie. Posed photos, one of a Christmas tree, playing happy family as if Amos deserved to be with Annie.

As if he was Annie’s parent.

August was silent, and then, he swallowed. “Tell me when we’re killing him. I want to be the one to do it.”

That was all he said before he strode out of the office and up the old pool steps to the main door, vanishing outside.

Of course, I followed.

Chapter Eighteen

AUGUST

With a view of the ocean, taking in the cool air, I couldn’t stop thinking about Annie and how I didn’t want to be near her. Guilt, worry, you name it, I was feeling it. How was I supposed to step into her life when I wasn’t anyone important to her? I mean, after everything I’d seen and done, what could I tell her that wouldn’t be drenched in blood?

Was Amos better for her? How did Amos have her affection when he was the worst of humanity, and me…

I was broken into pieces.

Was I better than him?

What if I spoke to Annie, and the two of us ended up moving somewhere quiet, and I pretended I’d never desired to kill so many people in revenge for her dad, or worse, for things I’d seen those people do. I was mortified I’d let my cock lead me to forcing myself on Ryder, but, standing there by myself, I almost thought letting out all that emotion didn’t make me weak. I felt strong, and it made me human. Breaking down in front of Ryder, showing that side of me, maybe it wasn’t such a bad thing?

Maybe it showed it was possible to trust him.

But I still had to keep it together, at least until I figured things out.

For now, this quiet moment was what I needed. A bit of time to myself to think and get ready for what was coming. Like talking to the therapist about Annie. That was going to be tough, but I had to face it.

I heard footsteps and knew it was Ryder before I even saw him.

“Hey,” he said, coming up beside me. “Everything all right?”

I sighed—might as well be straight with him. “Not really.”

He didn’t say much, just stood there, letting me talk, and for some godforsaken reason, that was all I wanted to do.

“Sorry about that…”

“What?”

“Kissing you like that.”

“Don’t apologize for that.” He leaned in to bump shoulders. “It was…” He wrinkled his nose. “Is it wrong to say it was hot when you were clearly upset?”

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