Page 68 of Resisting You

Dallas blew out a puff of air. “Yeah.”

Frey shrugged. “It was easier than the truth. Or…I thought it would be. Turns out holding all that in really sucked.” He laughed, the sound tense and tight. “God knows how long it would have lasted, but the more this thing gets complicated with Renato, the more I felt like I was going to explode.”

Adele leaned forward, resting his forearms over his thighs. “What changed?”

“With me?”

“With him,” Adele said.

“Oh.” Frey sat back and stared at the ceiling. He wasn’t sure he wanted to say that he’d been fantastically turned on by the idea of Renato bossing him around and being mean to him, and the threat of being caught made it even better. It sounded a little…shallow. But the emotional side of it—he hadn’t even begun to start working that out.

“Hey.” Frey looked up to see Dallas looking at Adele as he spoke to him. “You don’t have to tell us if you don’t want to.”

“No,” Frey said quickly, “it’s not that. It’s just…complicated, I guess. Like, fucking him was one thing. He was an ass, but he was hot, and he really, really knew what he was doing. But then he started, I don’t know, being good to my kid. And to me. Then he started talking to me and opening up, and it turns out his life is complicated too.”

And then today, the things he said made sense. The reasons why he wasn’t very kind made sense. Frey hated it, but Renato had been right. The teachers and the mentors who made him the nurse he was today hadn’t been the ones who held his hand or hugged him when he cried or told him it was okay to fuck up.

It was the ones who made him feel shitty, which motivated him to do better, that shaped who he was at work. Because this wasn’t the kind of job where you could fuck up. Fuck up, and people died.

“Look,” Adele said, “we’re here for you. If you want to start seeing this guy, we’ll welcome him with open arms. If you want to keep some space, just tell us, and we’ll back off.”

Frey rubbed both his hands down his face. “I don’t know what I want. I don’t know what he wants either. Like, definitely the sex. That’s been amazing. But he’s already been married and everything. He doesn’t date. And even if he did, I’m pretty sure he wouldn’t want all this. I think he’s just lonely, which I get. It works, you know?”

All the guys looked like they didn’t believe him, and who was he kidding. He didn’t believe himself. But he had to accept the fact that he and Renato were whatever they were. It wasn’t his happily ever after. It was his happy for now. Eventually, Renato would move on to someone who fit his life better, and Frey might find someone who fit his.

But he could have a little fun while it lasted.

“We should take off,” Bowen said after a long beat.

The guys grumbled a little, but it was past the time they usually hung out, and Frey really did need at least half an hour to make himself presentable. He didn’t have to cook, which was a relief, but he wanted to tidy up so Renato didn’t think every aspect of his life was a complete disaster.

He walked with Bowen to collect Briar, picking up Rex when his son hopped up and down on his toes, and he felt a profound sense of comfort when Rex laid his head on his shoulder and went limp. He knew he wouldn’t have these moments for long. There would come a moment when Frey set Rex down for the very last time, and that terrified him.

‘See you soon,’ Bowen signed to Rex, who nodded sleepily.

Frey set Rex on the couch, then saw everyone to the door. Bowen and Dallas walked to their cars, but Adele lingered a moment.

“I know what you’re going to say,” Frey started.

Adele shook his head. “You don’t. I just want to know if it’s something I said or did that kept you from telling me about all this. I know we all screwed up pretty badly with you over the last few years.”

Frey wanted to play ignorant, but he owed his friend honesty. “It was my fault for never saying anything.”

“And it was our fault for not paying attention when we were hurting you. Now that I think about it, it was obvious. I don’t want to be that guy, Frey. I love you.”

Frey’s heart twisted in his chest. “I love you too.”

Adele’s smile was very small. “I don’t want this guy to hurt you, okay? We’ve all had enough shit in our lives to last a thousand more. I don’t want you to say yes to all of this because you think there’s no one else out there.”

“I wouldn’t,” Frey told him. “Trust me. I was content to spend the rest of my life just me and Rex. The two of us make a great team, and it would have been a good life. But honestly, I don’t think he wants me like that. I think it’s just a way to pass the time, and I’m okay with it.”

Adele’s eyes narrowed, and then he sighed. “I tell myself that sometimes too.”

Frey’s brows dipped. “About who?—”

“It doesn’t matter,” Adele said quickly, waving him off. “My point is, don’t settle. Don’t sell yourself short. You deserve better than that, and I promise I’m going to make sure we’re all better friends.”

Frey pulled him in for a hug, then smiled when Adele kissed his cheek. “Thanks.”

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