Page 35 of Resisting You

Cosimo choked on his bite of scone and covered his mouth. He delicately wiped away his crumbs, then swiped his hands on his jeans. “Um. Okay.”

“For the first time since…” He trailed off as realization dawned in his cousin’s eyes.

“Oh.” His tone was weighty and hesitant, exactly what Renato had wanted to avoid. “Right.”

He passed a hand down his face, then reached for his water. It was tepid—just the way he liked it—and it soothed the ache in the back of his throat as he swallowed. He hadn’t stopped thinking about Frey since walking out of the doctors’ mess.

If he closed his eyes long enough, he could still see the look on his face as he came.

If he breathed in deep enough, he could smell the lingering scent of him.

If he stayed still long enough, he could still feel the ghost of Frey’s touch on his skin. When he squeezed his hands into fists, he could almost—almost—remember the exact weight of Frey’s cock against his palm.

His dick twitched in his trousers, and he tried not to shift because he knew he’d be obvious. He licked his lips and then said, “A nurse at my work.”

Cosimo blinked. “I thought you were gay.”

Renato’s lips thinned. “I am. Men can be nurses.”

“Right. Yep. Sorry, that was a sexist thing to say.” Cosimo laid his hands flat on the table and leaned in a little closer. “So, this is a big deal, right?”

Renato let his eyes slip closed as he nodded, then shook his head, then nodded again. “I want to say no. I need to say no, but…”

“Why?”

Renato looked at him. “Why what?”

“Why do you need to say no? It’s allowed to be a big deal.”

Taking in a deep breath, he held it until his lungs ached, then let it all out in a rush. “I hate him.”

He stopped. That wasn’t actually true. Frey got under his skin. He plagued him at work, constantly fucking with everything. He was like a toddler trying to get negative attention. But there was something else about him, something Renato had noticed right away and had been steadfastly trying to ignore.

“Yeah, that’s what I thought,” Cosimo said with a nod. “I know that look anywhere.”

“Don’t start,” Renato begged.

“Look, when you’ve been married to your best friend?—”

“I was married to my best friend,” Renato snapped. “And Frey’s nothing like him. At all. He’s the absolute opposite, and the very sight of him makes me want to…to…” He realized he had both fists clenched, and he let them fall to the table.

Cosimo reached for him and gently touched the back of his wrist. “Yeah. See, both things can be true. It wasn’t like Emmett and I locked eyes on a beach and slow-ran into each other’s arms. He was a giant pain in my ass, then one day, I realized I was madly in love with the dickhead.”

Renato shook his head, but he wasn’t entirely disagreeing. He and Grady’s start had been a little rocky, but it quickly turned into something else. Grady had been his best friend—but more than once, Renato had wondered if that would have held true if they’d met at different points in their lives.

At the time, Renato had been killing himself trying to get through medical school, then his residency, then trying to establish a practice and build a reputation. And Grady had been killing himself trying to follow his dream and become famous.

It was far enough away from Grady’s death that Renato was willing to recognize that just before the accident, things had started to shift. They loved each other, yes, but Grady was starting to resent him. He was giving up on his dream because no matter how hard he tried, he just didn’t have the spark that Hollywood wanted.

But Renato had gotten every star he’d ever shot for, and he’d seen the dark look in Grady’s eyes some nights. So if he hadn’t died, would they still be together? Or were they only good for each other in those early days when loving someone was the only thing that kept the chaos from taking over?

“Hey,” Cosimo said quietly, “I didn’t mean to upset you.”

Renato quickly shook his head as he pulled his hand away from his cousin’s touch. “No, you’re right. And for the record, I’m glad you and Emmett are doing well.” A small part of Renato would always envy his cousin.

Cosimo had found the love of his life and had a happy marriage with a child—one that Renato didn’t particularly like, but he also wasn’t much of a family man, and she was a spoiled little shit. But in spite of that, Cosimo always seemed happy.

And more than that, he seemed content in ways Renato wasn’t sure he’d ever experienced.

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